Jokes

[jgjiscool]

What\'s the stupidest joke you can think of? Now put it up here!

DO IT!

[semininja]

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar...

...and say, 'Ow!'

[Sordid]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.

The barkeep says: 'Um, you do know you have a steering wheel in your pants, right?'

And the pirate replies: 'Arr, it\'s drivin\' me nuts.'

[Key of door]

A horse and a man walks into a bar.

The man ask for a beer, he says 'Put it on my tab, I am a bit hoarse.'

Oh and

Do you wanna know what is funnier than 68? 69!

[hachiman]

Q: Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?

A: He couldn\'t face defeet.

[your mom]

what did the key say to the door?

im the key to the door

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P

GET BURNED

[Alchemist]

Houston, we have a problem. Little green men with a radar appeared from behind an asteroid and they claim that we exceeded the escape speed.

[Key of door]

what did the key say to the door?

im the key to the door

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P

GET BURNED

You called?

[softweir]

... and the barman says 'we don\'t serve tachyons in here!'

A neutrino walks through a bar ...

[jgjiscool]

Don\'t neutrinos pass through just about anything? Unless the bar was made of lead maybe?

[softweir]

Hmmm... Good point. I\'ll edit my previous post...

[Sordid]

That joke makes no sense. Neutrinos aren\'t tachyons.

[jgjiscool]

A hammer can fix that! A very very very VERY VERY VERY small hammer!

[Eat Uranium]

2 Englishmen, 2 Scotsmen, 2 Welshmen, 2 Irishmen, 2 Germans and 2 Belgians are stranded on a desert island. After a year:

The Welshmen have formed a choir

The Irishmen are still on the beach fighting

The Scotsmen have started a scotch distillery

The Belgians have not agreed on a single thing

The Germans are slowly constructing a millimetre perfect raft

The Englishmen are still waiting to be formally introduced to each other

[Key of door]

A hammer can fix that! A very very very VERY VERY VERY small hammer!

A very small MAN HAMMER

[your mom]

racist joke look at your own risk

what do you say when you see a floating tv at night?

DROP THE TV NI*ER!

[Luigibro606]

Knock knock

Who\'s there

Luigibro606

HAHA

[Guest Flixxbeatz]

Knock knock

Who\'s there

Luigibro606

HAHA

ba dum tss

[mojoey]

As much as i like hamburgers, especially Wendy\'s burgers, im not putting Dave\'s hot and juicy ANYTHING in my mouth

[softweir]

That joke makes no sense. Neutrinos aren\'t tachyons.

So, you didn\'t hear about the infinitesimally weird result the OPERA team were getting? It\'e been in the news a lot recently.

OK, so the result is almost certainly a mistake, but any mistake is fuel for humour however tenuous the connection!

[Sordid]

The latest episode of the Skeptic\'s Guide to the Universe podcast even mentions the most likely cause for that mistake. I forgot what exactly it is, but it produces an effect that matches the anomaly perfectly. So yeah, turns out the laws of physics aren\'t overturned after all.

[Key of door]

What did the ice say on his break?

Nothing, ice doesn\'t talk.

[your mom]

what did i say

i say.....

[icefire]

What did the ice say on his break?

Nothing, ice doesn\'t talk.

¬_¬

[Damonjay]

whats the difference between a hobo and a park bench.

a park bench can support a family