The Kerb Kerman Show!

[Xacktar]

We now return you to the best, and only, historical talk show on KV!

Kerb: Thank you, Bob. Welcome back, folks! Once again, I'm here with Og-

Oggy: Eerrrrppp

Kerb: -gy Kerman, First assistant to the head of orbital mechanics at the XAC. We've been talking about the first trip to Minmus. A tale rife with fire, bucket seats and headbutting. Tell us, Oggy, How was the return trip?

Oggy: It was AWESOME!

Kerb: I am not surprised.

Oggy: Alright, to be honest. I cracked open a case and took a snooze-down for the first part of the return trip. Needed to recharge the old batts- NOT YOU MOM! -you know what I mean?

Kerb: Let's just get a picture up here, shall we?

Oggy: See? BORING AS A TEA PARTY AT RONBO'S HOUSE!

Kerb: Now, I am fairly certain that things didn't stay that way for long.

Oggy: YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT, KERB! I TOOK THE SWEEEEEEET KESSIE FIVE DOWN FOR A ROUGH-RIDING, FIRE-SLIDING DIVE INTO THE INSANOCHAOS! YEAAAHHHH!

Kerb: Oh geep...

Oggy: YEAHH! I WAS HOTTER THAN BILLY-B'S SISTER ON PROM NIGHT! I GOT KERBIN-BURN ON MY SUNBURN, BROTHER! YOU GOTTA TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS THEN FIRE SURF THAT MOTHER DOWN TO THE GROUND! THE GROUND WITH NAILS IN IT! YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kerb: Bob, please tell me the show is almost over.

It's almost over, Kerb.

Kerb: Thanks, Bob. Ok, Oggy... I see that you had a lot of fun. I think we only have time for one more picture. Let me...

Oggy: SUPER DOUBLE HALF-PLEX PILE-DRIVE OGGY ELBOW TO THE CLICKER BUTTON YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

OH SH-

Kerb: My Desk! WHY THE GEEP WOULD YOU-

Oggy: YEAAAHHH!

Kerb: STOP SCREAMING YEAH AT EVERYTHING! WHAT IS-

Oggy: YEAAAAHAHAHAHAAHHHHHHHHH

That's all for tonight, folks! Tune it tomorrow, because its the law, for another episode of The Kerb Kerman Show!

Edited July 11, 2015 by Xacktar

[DisarmingBaton5]

Geep, Xacktar, this is good.

[KSK]

Geep, Xacktar, this is good.

YEAAAHHHH!

Jeb might ride a chair to orbit too but only Oggy would lay the nut on his (successfully landed) spacecraft for a bet! Loved the picture of the Kessie V flying in one direction and Oggy flying in the other. Conservation of momentum baby!

Incidentally, this thread is definitely Not Safe for Work. Unless you have an office to yourself or your co-workers are polite enough not to give you funny looks when you start laughing for no good reason.

*ahem*

[The Error]

...yep. He MUST have been trained by the Thrillmaster.

[Xacktar]

Incidentally, this thread is definitely Not Safe for Work. Unless you have an office to yourself or your co-workers are polite enough not to give you funny looks when you start laughing for no good reason.

*ahem*

Then my job is done!

Also, thanks KSK, Error and Baton! Everyone who has a laugh here is the reason I keep doing them.

Edited January 21, 2014 by Xacktar

[DisarmingBaton5]

Everyone who has a laugh here is the reason I keep doing them.

All hail Xacktar, he's really cool

[Sylandro]

You should make a episode where Oggy gathers a bunch of random kerbals and sends them to the mun

[Xacktar]

Alright, I think I'm gonna try and make another episode this weekend... dun dun dunnnn...DUNA!

I wonder who I'll send...

[KSK]

I vote for Ronbo! Behind that mild mannered, conservative flight director and administrator lies.... something

[Xacktar]

Not a bad idea... being responsible for both Oggy and Billy-Bobdin would be quite a chore for poor old Ronbo.

[KSK]

Not a bad idea... being responsible for both Oggy and Billy-Bobdin would be quite a chore for poor old Ronbo.

Ahh - my mind skipped over the final 'a' in that last sentence. Didn't mean to send poor old Ronbo to Duna! Then again - first kerbal on Duna might (might) just command the chops to shut Oggy up occasionally.

...

Nahhhh! Not going to happen.

[Patupi]

Just read through the whole thing. Very cool, and just the right side of crazy for me... OK, not owning up to which side that is Keep it going great and powerful Xacktar. Oh, and have some rep. (Like you need any! P-shaw!)

[Xacktar]

Ahh - my mind skipped over the final 'a' in that last sentence. Didn't mean to send poor old Ronbo to Duna! Then again - first kerbal on Duna might (might) just command the chops to shut Oggy up occasionally.

...

Nahhhh! Not going to happen.

Hehehe. Perhaps Ronbo will be on the show to talk about some poor Kerbonaut who is, totally on purpose and not-at-all because they ran out of fuel, stuck on Duna still, after a very long time.

Just read through the whole thing. Very cool, and just the right side of crazy for me... OK, not owning up to which side that is Keep it going great and powerful Xacktar. Oh, and have some rep. (Like you need any! P-shaw!)

Thanks Pat! I'm glad my crazy works for ya. XD

[The Destroyer]

Hilarious! I agree with the Kommunity Manager, this would be great in video form!

[Xacktar]

You know what time it is and why you have to watch! It's the Kerb Kerman Show!

Kerb: Hello everyone and welcome to the Kerb Kerman Show! I'm proud to announce that our guest for today is the man in charge of Orbital Mechanics at the XAC, Mr. Ronbo Kerman himself!

Ronbo: I'm completely happy and not-at-all being forced to do this show under threat of being locked in a capsule with Oggy.

Kerb: Just a minute into the show and already cracking jokes. We got a live one here, folks!

Ronbo: Can we please just get on with it?

Kerb: Of course, of course. Liven up a little, Ronbo! This is Kerbivision. Get excited! Get up in that chair and get this audience worked up!

Ronbo: Have you been drinking jet fuel, son?

Kerb: No, but I have been hanging out with Oggy.

Ronbo: Figures. Now why in the seven stages am I here?

Kerb: I'm going to answer that with a picture.

Kerb: BOOM! You might recognize this ship, Ron.

Ronbo: Oh Geeping Kraken.

Kerb: Be careful with the language here on the show, Ron.

Ronbo: No, that's what that... thing... is called. That's the Geeping Kraken.

Kerb: Let me guess... Oggy named it?

Ronbo: Named it after his pet taratuka. He stole parts from fifteen different aerospace departments, an auto club, a public restroom, three construction sites and a hardware store to make that thing.

Kerb: I assume he took it up on his own.

Ronbo: Oh, I wish he had. You have no idea... but, No. Oggy tricked three of the new recruits to get in the capsule then he launched them while I was at lunch.

Kerb: A lynched lunch launch! How Riveting! Let's see a picture of that!

Ronbo: Do you know how much that thing cost?

Kerb: Wow! Lookat the fire!

Ronbo: Or how many angry Kerbals wanted their stuff back?

Kerb:Ron, tell us a bit more about the Geeping Kraken.

Ronbo: Oggy even stole the headlights off of the Director's truck.... You're not even listening, are you?

Kerb: Did it go really fast?

Ronbo: What, the truck?

Kerb: What truck?

Ronbo: What?

Kerb: More pictures!

Ronbo: you sure you haven't been drinking jet fuel? You kinda smell like...

Kerb: OH LOOK, It's time for all of us to stand up and sing 'All Hail Xacktar, He's Really Cool!' We'll be right back!

---

Edited July 11, 2015 by Xacktar

[Xacktar]

We now return you to the Kerb Kerman Show!

Kerb: Welcome back! That was good bout of singing, wasn't it, Ron?

Ronbo: Sure, Kerb. I have to ask... why were those kerbals wiggling with grass while we were singing?

Kerb: They were dancing, Ron.

Ronbo: THAT was dancing?

Kerb: MOVING ON! Tell me, Ron... Who were the three poor recruits that Oggy put up into space?

Ronbo: Well, there was Kirbree, Neilan and Alfrid. Oggy told them that there were free snacks inside.

Kerb: Were there snacks?

Ronbo: Who cares? They were shot INTO SPACE.

Kerb: Well, snacks are important...

Ronbo: JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Kerb: Oh geep, you scared me. My auto-click-the-button reflex kicked in.

Ronbo: Ah, the refueling. You got that on here too.

Kerb: Oh yeah... Hey, tell us about that.

Ronbo: Well.... Oggy told Kirbree and the others that if they wanted to come back home they needed fuel. That was an old tank from a...uh...unplanned discharge off of some of the earlier FGD projects. Kirbree punched a hole in the top and sucked all the fuel from the tank.

Kerb: Like a fuel vampire!

Ronbo: Sure.

Kerb: Then what? Did they get back home... wait... this is Oggy we're talking about...

Ronbo: Oggy gave them directions and, well... just go ahead and show the picture.

Kerb: That's Duna!

Ronbo: Those poor, poor... OW, what are you doing that for? Nononon, I don't want to share ANYTHING with Oggy! Ok, ok... AHEM, Those great, brave Kerbonauts.

Kerb: Wow! Now, was this the first time a ship had made it to Duna?

Ronbo: No, we had over- OW! What? Are you kidding me? Aboult all thirty-seven of them? ALRIGHT! -zero other missions to Duna. None at all. Kirbree was the first to see Duna and live, I can say that much.

Kerb: Truly inspiring stuff.

Ronbo: I still don't know how he got them there in once piece. Oggy is like some... maniac savant? Is that a thing?

Kerb: I wouldn't begin to guess, Ron. Let's get one last picture up.

Ronbo: ...

Kerb: What the... MY CLICKER IS BROKEN!

Oh no.

Ronbo: So?

Kerb: SO?!?! IT'S THE CLICKER!

This happened once last year. It's bad.

Ronbo: Don't you guys have some sort of commerc-

Kerb: I NEED A NEW CLICKER NOW!

I'm on it. We'll be back after these messages, folks.

Edited July 11, 2015 by Xacktar

[Xacktar]

We're back, with Kerb Kerman and his show!

Kerb: Ahhh, that new clicker smell. CLICK.

Ronbo: Are you alright?

Kerb: I'm fine! CLICK!

Kerb: Just fine. No problems here. CLICK!

Ronbo: Why don't you just put the clicker down. Yes, just like that. You're ok now.

Kerb: Of course I am! Heh. Why wouldn't I be? Heh. ALRIGHT! So... Three cadets, maliciously tricked into a capsule, thrown on a forty-three day journey to Duna. Pretty pictures. Clicker thing. Tell us more, Ron!

Ronbo: Right... Ok, so Kirbree knew they were in trouble, as you have shown us in those many, many images, so he used the little remaining fuel they had to slow down.

Kerb: Must... click...

Ronbo: STOP IT! Geep, you're almost as bad as Oggy. NO! HANDS OFF! Anyways, Kirbree managed to burn enough that the emergency parachutes blew and caught enough of the thin atmosphere that they were able to land in once piece.

Kerb: Just one more click?

Ronbo: I said NO! Geep.... oh, wait. I do need the next picture. Go ahe-

Ronbo: -ad. Oh yeah. A little oversight by Billy-Bobdin. Made the ladders too short. Still, pretty impressive since they stole those from the hardware store. Kirbree and the others had to do a little jumping to get in and out of the Geeping Kraken.

Kerb: That ship looks a bit intimidating, doesn't it?

Ronbo: Well, it is modeled after a vicious, poisonous creature that kills by night and lives in Oggy's gym bag.

Kerb: Fascinating. You said they were low on fuel?

Ronbo: Completely out. Not a drop left.

Kerb: Stranded! Adrift on a far planet! Riveting stuff. I assume that the XAC planned some sort of rescue... I CAN'T TAKE IT... MUST CLICK!

Kerb: Ahhhhhh.

Ronbo: You are completely insane.

Told ya.

Ronbo: This is... are we done here? Can I go home now?

Kerb: CLICKKKKKKKK

I think we're done.

Kerb: CLICKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Goodnight, folks, and be sure to tune in tomorrow for more of the Kerb Kerman Show!

Edited July 11, 2015 by Xacktar

[The Error]

CLICK

Cool. And now you're off on a totally previously planned rescue mission to the completely intentional Geeping Kraken landing?

[Xacktar]

CLICK

Cool. And now you're off on a totally previously planned rescue mission to the completely intentional Geeping Kraken landing?

Quite likely!

[Rosarium]

you got a new Fan!

All Hail Xacktar, He's Really Cool!

[Xacktar]

Hey guys! I'm setting up a twitter account for both this show and the videos I've been making. I'll put up tidbits and screenshots of things that don't make it into either. You can ask my questions about the show and stuff too, if ya want.

https://twitter.com/KerbKerman

I'll try and do another show soon, just been having wayy too much fun making these videos.

Edited February 10, 2014 by Xacktar

[Patupi]

I really liked the Tarrantula... I mean the Geeping Kraken . I'd say show up Oggy's weirdest constructions, air, land or space. Or all of the above... simultaneously?!? I think that latter would break the laws of physics... wait, what am I saying, this is KSP!

[Xacktar]

Hey guys... changing it up a little here.

Oggy broke into the news studio and made a valentine for Jeb's Girlfriend.

Here's what it looks like.

[KSK]

Nothing - and I mean nothing, says love like a giant heart shaped rocket!

[KSK]

Oh, and this is public service announcement from Xackylvania State Television.

"The Kerb Kerman show is compul.... clean family viewing. Any references whatsoever to Oggy's sepratron will be frowned upon most severely by his awesomeness, the mighty, the watcher over us all, Xacktar.

All hail his name."