Kerbal History

[Designer225]

Year 3940.1.1.12:00.am: Almost as sudden as they declared war on the Kerbals, the humans made peace with them. Apparently they are ambivalent about their presences. In exchange, the fugitive Kau became prisoners again, and the Kerbals allowed about 50,000 humans to travel to (or back from) Kerbin per year.

Year 3940.1.1.12:15.pm: Meanwhile on Kerbin, the Kerbals debated whether they are going to send the Kau to Sagittarius A* (the black hole of the Milky Way, which the Kerbals and the humans shared).

Year 3940.1.1.6:15.pm: After a lengthy debate, the Kerbals decided to destroy the Kau after all. The first ship (completely automated, with no overriding control or anything that stops/keeps automation whatsoever) containing 10,000 Kau prisoners are sent to the black hole. It is scheduled to arrived by early next year unless it is melted by a star or destroyed by dust.

Year 3940.1.2: The humans debated on whether to expand to nearby Alpha Centari or not. Apparently they also have hyperdrives.

[problemecium]

3941: The Kau Death Ship is intercepted and the Kau inside are killed and eaten by space skorpions. Oh well, they were supposed to die anyway.

3942: Kerbals make first contact with a group of alien races known as the Kovenant. The ambassadors return to Kerbin raving incessantly about plans to build a giant circular space station.

[Wahgineer]

3943: These Humans are found not to be the race that sent the voyager 1: The anatomy from the gold disk doesn't match up. The probe is actually carbon dated, and is found to be millions of years old. The Humans are re-dubbed the Khans.

(I'll explain why when we get to 4905, when the ship is set to arrive in the spiral galaxy next door.)

Edited March 26, 2014 by awsumindyman
clarity

[going-to-the-MOON]

3943.1: Melbald Kerman makes a time machine in his basement, and goes back to the year 1000, and says hi to his extremely great grandpa. This changes literally nothing.

[cziken20]

3944: The plate from Voyager 1 is studied now VERY VERYY CAREFULLY. They see that the lines coming together are actually krakrans (aka pulsars in our life) they analyze krakrans from 1 million years ago and find out those Humans are probably in the 6 th from Kerbal's perspective arm of their galaxy. They try to send a signal there, but strangely the solar system and some nearest stars are covered in strange radio-deflecting bubble (it is why we don't get any messages from aliens ).

They then travel there,a nd ship is going to arrive in one year.

3945: A probe arrives at The Sun (the REAL sun), but it stucks at the range of the bubble and can't move. When it forces to deploy a camera into bubble it actually goes in, but the camera can't see the probe. Scientist then agree on it that it deflects also photons other than non-deflected so you can't see any body other than a body which shines (if you don't understand it means stars, lamps and other shiny things). Then they agree that you can't move through the barrier anything bigger than 0.04 cubic meters.

[Designer225]

3945.6: Mysteriously enough, the result of analyzing Voyager 1 and the star the probe have arrive in have been confirmed false. Also the map provided to an exploration ship sent to the so-called "radio shield" was proven false as the ship entered a barren area of gas clouds. The ship began to turn back. Also further analysis showed that the "sun" turned out to be another star with the same star classification (G2V), and that the probe may be near the melting point (for reason unknown the probe did not have the cooler).

3946: Another ship containing 2,000 Kau (again, inescapable and totally automatic and cannot be overridden) was sent to Sagittarius A* with an improved hyperdrive. It is scheduled to arrive later this year. Total Kau prisoners left on Kerbin: 600,000.

3946.5: After careful analysis helped in part by space telescopes, the Kerbals determined that Voyager 1 is, indeed, one of the spacecraft sent to escape (the other is Voyager 2). Realizing that 2 maybe required to provide more specific information,, an exploration ship sent toward the "radio shield" is redirected to an area 8000 light-years from Kerbin. It is scheduled to arrive later this year.

3946.9: The second attempt into Sagittarius A* came to a successful end - the Kau are only split light-years away from the black hole and could be torn apart into oblivion forever. Meanwhile the rest of the prisoners are sent to the black hole in a ship with the same configuration. It is scheduled to arrive mid-next year.

3946.12: The Kerboexploration ship have arrived and found faint signals of Voyager 1 and 2. After collecting data and careful analysis, they have determined that the launch point would be between 201~267 AU from their present location, due south (relative to Voyager 2's direction). And they sped, and is scheduled to arrived early next year.

Edited March 27, 2014 by Designer225

[problemecium]

3947: At the last possible moment, the second Kau deathship is intercepted and the contents are eaten by skorpions. Those dang skorpions, always killing and eating our stuff...

3948: Through careful analysis of stellar spectra and gravitational influences, Kerbals confirm the discovery of a Dyson sphere in Kovenant-controlled space.

3948.01: Jebediah blows something up.

3949: Kerbals discover extraterrestrial lifeforms on a remote planet in galaxy RG 0-0-17-39.

[Wahgineer]

3950: After continuous and careful investigation, the disk is found to contain a map to another solar system. Ships and satellites analyze the galaxy and find that no star has the correct dimensions/radius/whatever. A telescope turns towards a random patch of sky: and finds the star, sitting millions of light years away, in the next door spiral galaxy. Coincidentally, the intergalactic ark is expected to arrive at this star specifically. Since it is heading at speeds greater than that of light, they can't message it to change course.

[Designer225]

I did mention a Kerboexploration ship is scheduled to arrive in early 3947, RIGHT?

3947: The explorer arrived on the solar system, but was forced to orbit 50 AU from the Sun due to a mechanical malfunction that disabled the warp drive.

Back to the present...

3951.3: The 3rd testing of the broken drive was a success. The ship is finally on its way to a blue-green planet 53 AU away (due to revolution of Earth, the distance is always changing). It's scheduled to arrive later this March.

[Goodle...]

3952: the Kaus are wiped out by a pandemic, that caused kau extinction. Ditch eforts of cloning kau ended in failure, as the pandemic destroyed their DNA. (The kaus will not come back again. ever.) The pandemic stopped at the edge of the kerbol system.

3953: Kerbin war I initiated. Kadolf Kitler vowed for world domination.

[Wahgineer]

I did mention a Kerboexploration ship is scheduled to arrive in early 3947, RIGHT?

And I said, way earlier than that, that a colony ship is to arrive in our solar system, in the milky way galaxy, in their year of 4905. So leave my little history project alone. The kerbals will meet the humans eventually (in about 954 years, plenty of time for other stuff to happen).

[victory143]

WW I has already happened. Also WWII

Year 3970: The Kerbals forgot about the Kau who were sent to colonise the nearby star systems from Wolffy. The Kau send diplomats to the Kerbals. They shout at them very loudly then leave. A peace treaty was signed.

Year 3990: With nothing to do the Kau decide to invade Earth. All the Humans apart from a few survivors are gassed. The Kau then colonise Earth.

[Designer225]

Year 3990: After confirming (through a simulator) that a colonization of Earth is possible (most likely by invasion), the Kau put their plan into effect.

Year 3991: The Kerbals declared war on Kau, due to the Kau's wish of a piece of the Kerbol system. This caught the Kau in the process of conquering the humans. The fleet intended to colonize Earth headed toward Wolffy.

Year 3992: After long years of repair the Kerboexploration ship's jump drive is ready. Before they head for a blue-green planet, though, they sent a signal to the Interplanetary Ark. The signal is expected to reach the ship 500 years later.

Year 3992.3: Meanwhile a smaller Kerbal fleet split up, lured the Kau fleet to the galactic black hole. It was then the Battle of Sagittarius began, with Kerbals "cut asunder" plenty of Kau ship, leaving few to escape. But as soon as the battle escapes the black hole, the Kerbals ambushed the remaining of the Kau fleet and destroyed it. There are no Kau survivor.

Year 3992.5: At Battle of Wolffy, the Kerbals and Kau fought really hard. The Kerbals pulled out of the Wolffy system just as Wolffy puffs again, leaving the Kau in control of Wolffy... briefly. Just 5 seconds after the Kerbals left the Wolffy system (later, one of the Kerbal, Joseph Kerman, would thank the scientists that are onboard the fleet on that fateful day) Wolffy expands to 20 times its normal size in 5 minutes, engulfing all but 1 Kau ship; it then engulfs all the planets in the system; in the end, all but 10,257 Kau survived the war and the Kau Empire no longer exists; whereas the Kerbals attained a decisive victory by delaying the Kau fleet from helping the Kau in the Wolffy long enough, but lost 1/4 of their entire fleet by doing so.

3992.10: The Kaulic endemic affected only the Kau (a Kerbal scientists called it a weird disease) and wiped out all of the Kau. All surviving Kau are affected, and no Kau survived the disease.

3992.12: The Kerbals put the end date of both the Kau Empire and the Kau race:

Kau Empire: 3740.1.16 - 3992.5.23

Kau Race: 3450.11.14 - 3992.10.31

Motto:

"It was a great empire..."

(Alrights, there are no traces of Kau in the universe for the rest of the history.)

Edited March 29, 2014 by Designer225

[cziken20]

3995: Somebody called Kdislav Kerman invents Virtual Kreality (Registred and Trademark, don't try to copy). It simulates real word, even with some pain, but in computer.

3996: Some Kerbals get so addicted to VK that they die inside of it, because of starvation, because they spent so long in it without eating real food.

3997: VK is updated in such way it always saves any progress in game while in not fight or something and shuts down, and a big red text says "EAT AND DRINK SOMETHING"

4000: Kerbals celebrate completely new Millenium! (unfortunately only we know that in this millenium they must be wiped out and reborn so that in 5000 they are technologically advanced in the level that is in game when we start)

[Designer225]

4001: Joseph Kerman wrote The Rebellion, a history of the now-extinct Kau race and the Kau empire, and the war that lead to the Kau Empire (and the race)'s downfall.

4002: The jump drive of Kerboexploration ship is damaged... again. The crew spent the next 5 months fixing it.

4002.6: The explorer finally reached the blue-green planet (we called it Earth) and are greeted by Earth humans. It's year 2102 for humans and 4002 for the Kerbals when they met.

(From now on, human year/Kerbal year)

2103/4003: The movie Apollo 13 made a huge hit on Kerbin, although the Kerbals partially understood English.

2103.2/4003.2: The Kerboexploration ship heads for the Interplanetary Ark, hoping to find it still intact after the long years of jump driving. It's expected to reach the ship sometime next 2 years.

2104/4004: The first group of diplomats from both sides Arrived at Sirius A, and had managed to settle on the Non-Aggression act and trade agreement. They argued on others.

Edited March 29, 2014 by Designer225

[victory143]

You won't let the Kau live so...

Year 4010: A Human colony on the Moon ( not Mun) declares independence, seals all the citizens in armour and Rename themselves the Tau. They colonise The local star systems and invade earth. The Tau use accelerator carbines and win the war. All the Humans are converted to Tau.

PS. Why not continue the Kerbal history to the future?

[problemecium]

Who said we have to wipe the technology?

4011: Jebediah blows something up again, this time on national television. Impressionable children across Kerbin start trying to replicate his exploits, in so doing seriously injuring themselves and every other Kerbal within a 250-meter radius.

4012: In response to complaints from Kerbal mothers, Kerbal heads of state convene to create the Global Administration for Restricting Access to Dangerous Rocket Parts, or GARDARP (they did indeed spell it wrong). From now on the organization will begin its long-term mission of reviewing every known spacecraft component and deciding which to approve for public use, which to restrict to licensed military / research uses, and which to ban entirely. First on the ban list are Kraken drives and the BFE-5000.

[Designer225]

4013: The humans on Alpha Centari unites with the local tribes and attacked the Tau (in an attempt to restore democracy as the main government on the Solar System). The Tau were surprised of the appearance of the remaining of the humans and of why Alpha Centari isn't on the galactic map.

4014: Democracy is restored in the Solar system and some of the Tau escaped, while others forgot their Tau allegiance and became humans again.

4015: Meanwhile on Kerbin, a "rebellion" on whisky tax shook the United States of Kerbals. President George Kerman personally lead the militia to "squash" the rebellion, but only after Kongress have passed a law that lowered taxes.

@Victory143: Eventually there will no longer be light in the universe and when that happens, civilizations may never be able to survive. And so unless there really is a multiverse, technology is gonna get wiped out anyway. But it'll be great to continue it to a very long time. This long:

10^101010101010

Edited March 31, 2014 by Designer225

[Goodle...]

4016:The Space kraken is found.

[cziken20]

Designer- you really want to take it to 10000000 million year? Nope.

4017: Some Kerbals create a theory that the live is simply an RPG game where if you die you see score table.

4018: The theory got huge leading to a new religion create. It is called Gameizm.

4020: Now half of Kerbal world believes in Gameizm, which leads to some people sacrificing themselves to tell somebody other form "The Scoretable" his score. Some people get so crazy they actually hear the voice telling their score.

[Wahgineer]

4021: it is recalculated that the interstellar ark won't receive the message, since it is heading at superluminal speeds towards the milky way galaxy, eventually to arrive at the real Earth.

[problemecium]

4022: The Space Kraken is lost... again. Slippery little bugger.

4023: The GARDARP puts the Mainsail engine and several other popular Rockomax parts on the "restricted to scientific / military use only" list.

4123.1: Kerbals at the space center finally are able to drink their koffee without very loud rumbling noises from huge rockets buzzing Mission Control - just moderately loud rumbling noises. Kerbals who have finished drinking their koffee start to panic about this and try to cook up ways to build bigger rockets without Rockomax parts.

4123.25: Either Bill or Bob Kerman, we're not sure which, eats all the snacks from the Mk2 Command Pod.

4123.4: Two brilliant Kerbals by the names of Adam and Jamie Kerman use large amounts of Space Tape to affix a negative gravioli detector to the window of Mission Control, allowing future Kerbal astronauts to use Rockomax parts again on the basis that buzzing the tower is a scientific use after all.

[Designer225]

Designer- you really want to take it to 10000000 million year? Nope.

It's much longer than that. But yeah, that long would be crazy.

4021: it is recalculated that the interstellar ark won't receive the message, since it is heading at superluminal speeds towards the milky way galaxy, eventually to arrive at the real Earth.

There are early references of Sagittarius A* (Pg44, year 2046). Also the Interplanetary Ark has an old jump drive that travels relatively slower than the jump drive of the early 5th millennium.

Moving on...

4124: A massive meteor shower resulted in 12,456 injuries, and that was the casualties from 25 relatively large asteroids over 1200 asteroids, 1175 others may've burned out in the atmosphere.

4124: Meanwhile on Earth, humans tested their hyperdrives. It failed, but humans are no quitter. They would try again.

[cziken20]

4127: On Earth: Humans develop a machine called "A machine for taking X out of bracket and turning it into Y".(nobody even knows what it should actually do) It's found no use in humand world, but they try to sell it on Kerbin and strangely every rocket scientist wants it, because Kerbal rocket science needs it.

4128: With the use "AMFTXOBATIY" Kerbals scientists develop a new hyperdrive engine, but as always they don't want to share it with humans (it may lead to some toast falling down not on rocket butter side). It's now very safe and flawless, as it detects any matter incoming into it and changes the way a bit by using small hyper drive fluctuators which change ship's way. It is then called "GSFHD" (Great, safe and flawless hyper drive).

[Wahgineer]

4130: Multiverse Tech is discovered, and a gateway is built. The Kerbals start sending their first, unmanned craft through to investigate: The Microverse (from NovaSilskos science of the spheres game).