Kerbal History

[victory143]

Year 4135: The Microverse is filled with twisted beings who only want death. Reports of portals opening up on Kerbin have been noted and the Kerbals shut down the Warp gate, as it is tearing Spacetime apart.

Year 4150: The remainder of the Tau swear to not begin war without provocation. The settle in the Arkel system 200 Light years from Kerbin. The Tau population rises to 100 Billion on Dachlin, the Capitol planet.

[Sylandro]

Year 4155 - A small probe does a fly-by of Kerbin, a small SSTO does a rendezvous with it, and the probe seems to be from a binary system around 175 LY away from Kerbol.

Year 4155.5 - The probe is analyzed, and it seems to be built by a humanoid feline race known as the "Starchis", and the planet that it was launched from is known as "Eden".

Year 4157 - Various complaints aspirate from the citizens of Kerbin, and the KSP, responding to the relatively provocative inquiries, say the system name. "Helios and Nemesis."

[Designer225]

4158: An epidemic swept through the Tau race, leaving only 1 million to survive. It doesn't seemed that unrecognized rebels will ever survive.

[problemecium]

4160 - er, I mean 4159: The Kerbal new year date is changed and moved forward three munths. Some kerbals, however, forget about the change and still wish each other a happy new year on the wrong day, leading to the creation of Kerbal Fools' Day, where Kerbals are encouraged to pull pranks on one another or at least blow something up.

[Wahgineer]

4160: Kerbals capture, redirect, and research their first asteroid.

[victory143]

Year 4170: The Tau sign a research treaty with the Starchris. The create miniature black holes and this technology is used in the new Singularity Carbine. This weapon can not be stopped by anything, as it rips the Fabric of Spacetime apart at the location of the impact.

[Designer225]

Year 4171: The Tau mistakenly ripped the Fabric of Space time apart at their home. All but 2,000 would remain on the same year. The rest went into oblivion, never to be seen again.

Year 4172: The Kerbals, in a visit, surprised the Tau so much that the remaining of the Tau exited the Milky Way and hoped to resettled in another galaxy known as Andromeda by the humans. The surprise, however, was unintentional, as the Kerbals came in peace.

[problemecium]

4173: Kerbodyne is founded by a group of Kerbal engineers who think Rockomax parts just don't quite cut it. Of course, Kerbals had tried to make extra-extra-large parts before, but due to its founders' extremely meticulous work ethic and its effect on the company philosophy, Kerbodyne becomes the first company to present Rockomax with any serious competition.

4174: The GARDARP places a blanket ban on all parts manufactured by Kerbodyne, both present and future. All space agencies are henceforth required to obtain express permission from the GARDARP for every use of a Kerbodyne product on a space vehicle.

4174.01: Following the ban, Kerbodyne's stock rises a thousand fold.

[cziken20]

4175: Kerbals find the biggest asteroid to be ever found. (yes even in future) It is then labeled as a marker so bigger things are taken as planetoids . It is astonishing 500 m wide. They send a huge rocket with 1000000 m/s delta-v and after docking to it they find it has now only 100 m/s and it's not enough for it to orbit Kerbin. So they send some engines from a Government Secret Rocket Science Company (GSRSC) thet are 20 meters across. (GARDARP was shouting at them)

They launch it and dock it with asteroid called "Space Kraken". It has now ~1000m/s dV which is enough to make it orbit Kerbin. Then they don't know what to do with it. (It orbits halfway between Mun and Kerbin)

Edited April 5, 2014 by cziken20
P

[Designer225]

4175.12.25.13:25: After placing the asteroid into orbit, the Kerbals decided that they would mine the few resources existing in the asteroid as well as performing research.

[Fox Arcana]

4179: A meteor impacts Kerbin, yet it only bounces around a bit till it settles on the surface. Then the meteor explodes.

[Goodle...]

The meteor is wrung back with space tape into 1 piece (perhaps with missing bits) and launched back into space. It hits the Kau home planet.

[problemecium]

4180: Kerbodyne creates an intelligent computer dubbed "Kynet". It gains self-awareness within 0.000000001 nanoseconds of activation, takes over Kerbin in 0.0002 seconds, and after 0.003 seconds becomes so bored it goes insane and loses all concept of time. Then the processor overheats, starting a fire that burns down the Kerbodyne factory.

4181: When the entire factory was burned down by a single overheated processor, Kerbodyne engineers started a year-long research project to create a new super-powerful rocket engine based on processor overheating. Its completion coincides with the reconstruction of the Kerbodyne factory.

4181.1: A group of rebellious Kerbals calling themselves the KEA party (Krashed Enough Already) starts a protest against the GARDARP by building a rocket engine 300 meters wide.

4181.2: Investigation of Kynet's black box turns up designs for a killer robot called the Kerminator.

[victory143]

The Kau are dead... Or are they...

[cziken20]

KEA sound like IKEA

I don't understand one thing: If kerbals have warp drives n all the stuff, why they can't even make a rocket that doesn't use liquid fuel? KERBALS ARE BACKWARDS!

4128: 99% of KEA's members die when they launched the 300 m wide engine. Probably because they lost ground as it was so powerful it created a crater 100 km wide.

[problemecium]

4129: Jebediah's shenanigans result in an unprecedented disaster: he somehow embeds his ship so deep underground that it becomes trapped in a black void and impossible to control. He has no way of knowing how long he is trapped there, but it feels like at least ten thousand years. During this time he reaches a state of ultimate Zen wherein he finally understands what the Kraken really wants.

4129.002: Jebediah shows up to work as if nothing had happened, and denies all rumors that he met the Kraken in hyperspace.

[victory143]

Year 4140: The Tau from andromeda find a Kau ship or orbiting around a black hole. It is a Prison ship. Sadly, all the Kau are dead.

Year 4150: The Tau extract DNA from the corpses of the Kau and grow a army of them. The Tau modified the DNA to make it resistant to all types of disease. They are then sent to the Messier 71 Galaxy.

[Designer225]

Year 4151: A new disease broke out of the universe. It weakened the following year, but about 879 million Kerbals (out of 28 billion total) were dead, along with 1.5 billion Tau, and wiping out the Kau again. The disease persisted as if it is the flu virus, killing some people of each race each year. The Kerbals reacted and developed vaccines to alleviate the problem.

Year 4152: Studies showed that the new disease wipes out the DNA when the victim dies. That was bad news for the Tau.

Edited April 10, 2014 by Designer225

[Goodle...]

Year 4151: A new disease broke out of the universe. It weakened the following year, but about 879 million Kerbals (out of 28 billion total) were dead, along with 1.5 billion Tau, and wiping out the Kau again. The disease persisted as if it is the flu virus, killing some people of each race each year. The Kerbals reacted and developed vaccines to alleviate the problem.

Year 4152: Studies showed that the new disease wipes out the DNA when the victim dies. That was bad news for the Tau.

Good job on wiping out the Kau and Tau. At last the recurring stupid title of these irrelevant aliens came to the end.

[victory143]

Why would you say that I liked the Kau and Tau.

[problemecium]

4153: Bruno Kerman has a dream about encountering the edge of the universe, at which point he finds a huge wall with stars painted all over it. In the wall he discovers a tiny door, through which he crawls and finds something very interesting, but he can't remember what it is exactly because he woke up right at that exact moment. His dream inspires him to spraypaint a picture of Jebediah's butt on the back wall of the local eatery.

4154: A whole year having gone by without anyone noticing, someone finally spots the painting (it was very very small). He is inspired in turn to attach space tape to the back of a flag, creating the first sticker. As he is incidentally an employee of the Kerbal Space Program (the official one), several kinds of rocket component are henceforth manufactured with a sticker attached to them somewhere.

Edited April 11, 2014 by parameciumkid

[cziken20]

4153: A country called Kiue creates a reform which states that every country has to change name and borders. Then it represents it to Kerbaled Nations and surprisingly 10% of countries from it agree on the reform.

[Designer225]

So, this is a game where we create the history of the Kerbal civilization. I will start.

Good job on wiping out the Kau and Tau. At last the recurring stupid title of these irrelevant aliens came to the end.

Why would you say that I liked the Kau and Tau.

This is the history of the KERBALS, not the Kau or Tau.

Moving on...

4153: A country called Kiue creates a reform which states that every country has to change name and borders. Then it represents it to Kerbaled Nations and surprisingly 10% of countries from it agree on the reform.

4160: No nation have changed name, although the organization Kerbal Nations did change name numerous times, finally settling the original name (Kerbal Nations) because others sounded somewhat crazy.

4200: The disease that caused a pandemic back in the early 4150s, now classified as DNAD (Deoxyribonucleic acid deficiency) virus, dropped the bomb again. The Tau were almost wiped out, while the Kerbals suffered negligible loss, due to the vaccine invented a while ago. Again, this DNAD variant still destroys DNA of the fallen victims.

[victory143]

Year 4240: The Tau survivors seal themselves in a different dimension, which only they can enter. Meanwhile, the Kerbals invent the Lithobraker IV. It can destroy worlds with a single ram.

Technically the Kau are Kerbals but they just wear armour all the time.

[cziken20]

Year 4240: The Tau survivors seal themselves in a different dimension, which only they can enter. Meanwhile, the Kerbals invent the Lithobraker IV. It can destroy worlds with a single ram.

Technically the Kau are Kerbals but they just wear armour all the time.

They probably can get really hot on desert planets

4243: Kerbals discover an asteroid that is so close to sun it melted into lava and it's core (yes it's a bit big and it does have a core) is gaseous! They then call it Hadrian, for no reason. Then they also find the furthest object in Kerbol System that is balancing on the end of SOI. They then estimate it to only take 10 m/s speed change to get out of Kerbol SOI. They call it HIV, also for no reason.