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Tragedy befalls ill-fated mission to Duna


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Tragedy struck today when Chief Astronaut, Jebediah Kerman, was killed by lack of oxygen aboard the ill-fated Celestial Orbiter as he attempted to bring his craft back into Kerbin orbit after an excursion to Duna.

The 481-day mission met with disaster after Chief Engineer HoustonWeHaveAProblem miscalculated the young kerbonaut's life support requirements.

"My slide rule was warped," he was heard mumbling as police escorted him into custody from mission control in a leafy suburb of Johannesburg, South Africa. "Poor Jeb, poor Jeb," he continued repeating from his cell at Leeuwkop Prison, a maximum security facility near the world famous Lippizzaner performing horse troupe.

Jebediah Kerman is survived by his extensive family, including Bob, Bill, Whoosh, Buzz, Pop, Bang, I'mJustAYoungMan, Splatter, SmokingCrater, the twins C-Stoff and T-Stoff and sister Mary.

"We shall continue in our endeavours to perform scientific research at, near and on the many celestial bodies in our solar system," said chief KSP scientist, HoustonWeHaveAProblem II, "but we will observe 10 minutes of silence in memory of our brave Jebediah Kerman, who selflessly sacrificed himself so that we may one day enjoy a brighter future. May he forever orbit the Sun in peace."

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