Survive That Attack!

[Souper]

I catch vexx, pick him up, and throw him at orbital speed (2,000 m/s) toward the next poster.

[Thorium]

I enable deadly reentry, and he burns up. I let mechjeb crash a hitchiker module full of victims into the next poster

[cantab]

I sit in a plane cockpit and laugh at mechjeb.

I then trap the next poster in a thousand part ship in a copy of KSP running on a Pentium 1.

[Red Iron Crown]

All the thousand parts are PhysicsSignificance=1 so it runs buttery smooth and I enjoy the ride.

I launch the next poster in a ship designed by in collaboration by WhackJob and Danny4562.

[Palladium Corp]

The processor encounters segmentation errors (Non-existent memory) and terminates KSP, freeing up memory (and me).

Now free, I force the next user to read YouTube comments.

EDIT: Ninja'd, but the post is still relevant.

[ratchet9868]

i read some get bored and hurl the magic boulder at the next user >

[MGUARN]

Stands against nothing.

Fires the orbital space cannon.

[Sun]

Uses parachute.

The next poster... will be falling towards the top of Mt. Everest.

[Designer225]

I jumped from the helicopter (it dropped me off here) so I can hike down from Mt. Everest (there are other ways to fall toward the top of Mt. Everest, but some ways are "softer" than others).

The next poster would be facing an avalanche caused by an unstable rock on Mt. Everest (somehow it got loose).

[mikeman7918]

I try to freeze the avalanche with my freeze ray, but it doesn't work because it's already made of ice. I then use my trusty warp drive shoes^TM to go to the bottom if Mount Everest and graphic some hot chocolate at base camp before I realize that I can use them to escape.

I run into the next poster at about warp 9.5.

[Pineapple Frenzy]

I generate my own warp bubble around me that increases the attackers distance to infinity.

This causes the next user's reality to implode.

[Colserra3]

I'm not real!

This paradox causes the sun to vanish in the solar system of the next person.

[Vaporo]

I lock myself in a nuclear power plant with a small farm and grow-lights.

The next poster consumes a mass of antimatter equal to their own body weight. (and the poster is made of regular matter)

[victory143]

I am protected by the Tardis

I use my sonic screwdriver at the next post.

[Sun]

Force field.

I fire an antimatter quantum entanglement energy stabilizer gamma ray laser at the next poster.

[Souper]

I step to my side, and the laser misses.

TROLLTOMIC BOMB INBOUND! GET TO COVER!

Edited August 7, 2014 by Souper

[mikeman7918]

I get to cover.

I put a Quasar 5 light years away from the next poster's home world.

[Sun]

You kill yourself because we are all on Earth. I use the quasar to destroy the next poster.

[AletzN1]

You are still in the same planet than me so with your own logic... Yeah

I shoot you in the face with a caliber .50 Action Express fired from a 6 inch barrel IMI Desert Eagle Mark XIX

[mikeman7918]

I block the bullet from your caliber .50 Action Express fired from a 6 inch barrel IMI Desert Eagle Mark XIX with my high tech steel hand-held anti-bullet protection device (shield)

The light from the quasar reaches the next poster. (quasars outshine galaxies, so it will take more then sunglasses to protect you...)

[Vaporo]

I become invisible, and am therefore untouchable by light.

The next poster has insulted Chuck Norris.

[Rainbowtrout]

Modkip.exe has activated.

You've just installed Modkip.exe

[mikeman7918]

I throw my computer (with modkip.exe on it) into a star a few seconds before it goes supernova.

The next poster has offended the Kraken.

[K3achas]

Hay Harv3star!

I kill the next poster.

[mike9606]

I survive, because I'm pretty sure simply killing the next poster would mess stuff up(I'll change this line if needed).

I launch a kamikaze probe aircraft at the next poster.