Survive That Attack!

[Souper]

The amount of spatial distortion, however, moves the nanobots outside the universe ftw, they are no longer a threat.

The next poster encounters slenderman, and are therefore stalked for the rest of their life. Also, money no longer exists.

[Sun]

I delete him, he's just a bunch of ones and zeros.

The next poster is stuck in a vast mudflat in rubber boots.

[Souper]

It is a vast mudflat on Venus. It dries up in seconds.

I then puncture the next poster's suit while they are on Veus.

[Sun]

Veus is a copy of the earth.

The next poster is in this situation on earth:

[Souper]

I get out of the mud, and put on new shoes.

The next poster is to be hanged for murder!

[Sun]

I shoot the executioner. #irony

The next poster is trapped in a room with no windows or doors. This attack is a riddle.

[Aningaaq]

Blondie comes to shoot the noose off around my neck.

The next poster fell asleep in their floatie on the shore and is now lost on the ocean with no supplies.

[Sun]

I reach Japan and eat some sushi.

The next poster is on a SRB headed for IP space

[Souper]

The intense ninja car crash spawns a wormhole, and i escape all situations to the same result.

The next poster is VENUSVENUSVENU-

Edited September 16, 2014 by Souper

[Sun]

You're making me rage with that Venus thing. I concentrate my rage into lasers I shoot at the next poster.

[Souper]

Venus blocks it.

Venus crushes the next poster.

[Rainbowtrout]

Before I die, a magical teapot removes Venus in the name of no obsessions.

The next poster suffers death by boiling water. Yay.

[Souper]

It's boiling Methane water. Which is, to say, a gas form of Methane, accompanied by water vapor. Which is, to say, a cloudy fart.

I blow the cloudy fart into the next poster's face.

Edited September 16, 2014 by Souper
MAXXXIMUM EEEDDDIIIIIIIIIIIT

[MaverickSawyer]

As a former Boy Scout, farts don't bother me at all.

I then board an A-10C Thunderbolt II and shoot the next poster with the main gun: the famous GAU-8 Avenger 30mm rotary cannon.

[Souper]

I am ubercharged, it does nothing to me.

Right before my ubercharge wears off, i suicidebomb the next poster (without dying)

[megatiger78]

I jump out of the way so you hit the next poster who is standing next to lots of explosives

[GreeningGalaxy]

The explosives are nothing but black gunpowder. Very, very soggy black gunpowder, which ends up acting as an effective blast shield for me on the other side of it from you.

The next poster is attacked by the radioluminescent kraken octopus from that one KSP animation short.

[Souper]

I won't tell you why, or how Venus is applicable here, just know that the octopus can't survive 900F heat.

Same thing for the next poster.

[Souper]

Wait a minute, i'm the next poster!-

My scorched dead body is somehow teleported to another planet, where it then falls onto the next poster's head, melting them.

[wasmic]

Wait a minute, i'm the next poster!-

My scorched dead body is somehow teleported to another planet, where it then falls onto the next poster's head -snip-

(snip for undeflectable)

I blow your dead body away with a reversed vacuum cleaner, then I reverse the reversed vacuum cleaner and try to suck in the next poster.

[Souper]

I then cut my self out of the vacuum's bag and then throw the knife at the next poster.

[megatiger78]

I deflect it thebrutally murder the det poster with the vacuum cleaner

[GreeningGalaxy]

I happen to be wearing powered armor at the time, so the vacuum cleaner beating is rather embarrassing but not damaging to anything other than the vacuum cleaner.

The next poster is exposed directly to Cthulhu.

[megatiger78]

self destuct ruins the chutlu and the next poster with destruction of quantum physics and SCIENCE

[GreeningGalaxy]

Dubiously generic exploitation of quantum physics fails to have an effect on the macroscopic scale.

I throw a handful of change at the next poster.