[stock] Jeb's Idea 1: Launch Tower Lift

[corinoco]

It is perhaps best to read this transcription of the KSP Occupational Health & Saftey, Security, Sanity, Structural Health & Intergrity Team (OHSSSHiT) radio logs. It may help explain this 'design'.

KSP Base Comms Channel:

'Has anyone seen Jeb lately? He\'s not on our CCTV.'

'Nope.'

'Me neither. His security escort is here though'

'Have they seen him?'

'Nah.'

'Crap. OK, this is a base-wide security alert - Jeb is someone in the base, unescorted, repeat, unescorted. Please secure all computer terminals, lathes, escalators and candy machines.'

'What.... he\'s where? The Design Team room? Well, he can\'t do any damage there can he?'

'He what? Logged in? How?.... Accessed the design blueprint drives? Anything deleted? No? Oh, good.'

'Something ADDED?'

'Well, where is he now? ... the Fabrication facility? Doing? Making engines? HOW MANY? Well, I guess we need a few, have QA check \'em out...'

'Now where? The VAB? What the hell? HE\'S WHAT??! WELL, STOP HIM!'

'Whaddaya mean he\'s already ON THE PAD? WELL, get him OFF THE PAD!'

'Bill? and Bob? Oh noooo.... Cut the power! Cut the power! HURRY!'

*sounds of SAS gyro spoolup and liquid stage pre-pressurisation*

'Arrrgh! Too Late!'

*sound of engine start, SRBs firing...*

*sound of very large explosion, parts falling onto pad*

'sigh.... emergency crews... see if they survived... try to put out the fires.'

'What, radio transmission? From where? The CAPSULE? Which direction? What do you mean \'UP\'?'

'Where? The top of the tower? I\'ll be....'

* * * TRANSMISSION ENDS * * *

Here is what the pad CCTV saw:

Before...

After...

Full gallery of images:

http://imgur.com/a/x7COf

In Jeb\'s version of events, he describes his revoltushu revlotiif revaret very clever idea for a faster Launch Tower Lift. The Jeb\'s Idea 1 saves 43.6 seconds on the usual long, boring lift ride to the top of the Launch Tower, and since time is money this will clearly save the KSP a mild amount of money if implemented immediately.

He also highlights the designs reliability, with a 100% success rate for delivering three Kerbonauts to the top of the Launch Tower safely and swiftly.

He also points out it provides plenty of training opportunities for the KSP Fire, Search & Rescue Teams.

He claims the rumour that his brother-in-law is the prime contractor for Liquid Fuel tanks and the red paint used on the Launch Tower is a complete coincidence.

However the rumours he is working on an orbit-capable design are completely true.

[sal_vager]

This is so Kerbal it hurts

[corinoco]

Not quite 100% Kerbal, as this is (as far as I can tell) a 100% reliable way of getting 3 Kerbonauts to the top of the Launch Tower. Every. Single. Time.

I guess the massive explosion every it e makes it Kerbal. ;D