Totally legit news channel of New Zylancia

[FlamingPotatoes]

In today's episode of Totally Legit News Channel we will follow the story of a man who disobeyed the eternal emperor and completed his just and benevolent punishment in the New Zylancia Prison! We are here with our presenter, Macktie Kerman!

Macktie: Thanks! Today, as mentioned we will give you a show of the man who disobeyed emperor Xactar in his righteous conquest of the Evil-Scum-land-of-old-zylancia. Here is Geogbort Kerman!

Geogbort: My name's not Geogbort, it's Nancin, the Emperor called me Geogbort cause it sounds dumb

Macktie: Right, of course Geogbort! What a laugh folks! Anyway, tell me what you did to make the emperor so righteously mad?

Geogbort: *sigh* I told him publicly to stand down and give independence to the Republic of Zylancia

Macktie: HAH! Oh how much sarcasm you must of had! You were so good, the emperor believed you! In fact, most people believed you, me included!

Geogbort: They believed it because it was true smeg-for-brains! You want to know what they did after they heard that?

Macktie: Yes please!

Geogbort: They arrested me for 'Treason' and saint me to an underground bunker!

Macktie: Well it was treason to believe silly old things like 'Free speech' and 'democracy'! All we need to thrive is the words of the emperor and a little bit of oppression! He is a god after all!

Geogbort: They tortured me and brainwashed me for 5 whole days!

Macktie: Now now Geogbort, no need to exaggerate!

Geogbort: IT'S NANCIN! and I'm not exaggerating! They tore my arms off for gods sake!

Macktie: Everyone knows that that was an industrial accident!

Geogbort: STOP LYING TO THE WORLD!

Macktie: Calm down and repeat after me, it was an accident, you are Geogbort, there was no torture, calm,calm,calm.....

Geogbort: there was no torture calm, calm, calm *snore*

Macktie: We'll be back as soon as our host gains consciousness!

[FlamingPotatoes]

We're back with today's episode of Totally Legit News Channel where we will follow the story of a man who disobeyed the eternal emperor and completed his just and benevolent punishment in the New Zylancia Prison! We are here with our presenter, Macktie Kerman!

Macktie:That's right folks! Our special guest Geogbort Kerman has just regained consciousness and will now tell us the rest of the story, right Geogbort?

Geogbort:Huh? Who am I?

Macktie:So Geogbort, tell us what was life like in New Zylancia Bad-People-make-good-again centre?

Geogbort: You mean New Zylancia prison? It was harsh, the guards were *CENSORED* to us all.

Macktie: Wow, very graphic! Did you make any friends?

Geogbort: What kind of a question is that? Friends? It was so *CENSORED* we could barely talk to each other.

Macktie: And what was your make-good-again room like?

Geogbort: You mean my cell?

Macktie: Come now! Cells are only for horrible foreign governments who give people the horrors of 'free speech' and 'kerbal rights'.

Geogbort: Fine, my make-good-again room. Oh boy, it was cramped, very tiny, two meters wide, barely tall enough to sit up in.

Macktie: Really? Sounds a little far fetched for our glorious nation!

Geogbort: Far fetched? What are you on? Kermlatose?

Macktie: That would be a great book, a hero in a cramped prison in some kerm-forsaken foreign land!

Geogbort: Are you even listening to me?

Macktie: What? Sorry, I got distracted.

Geogbort: I can't believe you, you're just a puppet of the regime .

Macktie: We'll be back folks! With another special guest only on the Totally Legit News Channel of New Zylancia! Stay tuned!

Geogbort: Of course, end as soon as I uncover you...

[FlamingPotatoes]

We're back with the Totally legit news channel of New Zylancia! Today we shall be interviewing a kerbal by the name of Seanbury Kerman, first Kerbal on Moho, with our host, Macktie Kerman!

Macktie: Yes it's me again and we shall be talking to Seanbury Kerman who has just got back from his world famous voyage to Moho! How are you Seanbury?

Seanbury: I'm fine thank you.

Macktie: Great stuff, so tell us, what was travelling to Moho like?

Seanbury: Very cramped, not much space to move around in at al-

Macktie: _{no you're supposed to read from this script see?}

Seanbury: _{what this bit? Oh okay} I mean it was lovely, yes lots of space to move around, totally not like a coffin. With 4 claustrophobic astronauts inside.

Macktie: Great! And the launch was okay?

Seanbury: Fine yeah, no boosters accidentally flying off into a civilian neighbourhood, not at all!

Macktie: Well we wouldn't want that would we? Anyway, give us a breakdown of what happened as soon as you got into Moho orbit.

Seanbury: Well one of the astronauts, Silbury, had independently decided to go out into the vacuum of space to see how long a kerbal could survive in space without a space suit.

Macktie: And he came back okay?

Seanbury: Yeah! In fact he went into the magical relaxation invisible mansion that some of the bravest kerbals go to, kerbals with families.

Macktie: What happened after that heroic voyage that we don't have footage of for reasons you are not allowed to know?

Seanbury: We got into a stable orbit, released a couple of satellites into space. Then we fed Herman.

Macktie: Herman?

Seanbury: A cute little tortoise that no-one is allowed to see for reasons that we took into space with us.

Macktie: Okay, continue.

Seanbury: So we fed Herman, then climbed aboard the landing craft where guess what happened?

Macktie: What?

Seanbury: Some traitorous engineer had misaligned the parts of the engine because he wanted to sabotage the mission and totally not the fact that the emper-

Macktie: Glorious emperor

Seanbury: Sorry, Glorious emperor values speed over safety.

Macktie: Wow! What a swine of an engineer!

Seanbury: I know! You'll be happy to know that both him and his family were justly executed.

Macktie: Serves them right! Join us tomorrow when we take a look at Seanbury's landing! See you next time!

[mythic_fci]

Nice! Is this based off of Xacktar's series? I can see the similarities...

[FlamingPotatoes]

Yes, he said there needs to be more of these, so I made one!

[VelocityPolaris]

NEED MOAR

P.S. Is it supposed to be zylancia? I know Xacktar owns Xacklvania. Still, awesome.