Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[aceassasin]

Granted your head explodes.

I wish you didn't have such a grudge against me.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. Now I have a grudge against all bronykind... oh wait... (relax, I'm joking around)

I wish I was in the Matrix.

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

Granted. You die

I wish to tie a tie

[vexx32]

Granted; you tie the tie around your necktie, then proceed to tie the necktie around your neck. You then tie your neck around your head, and you tie your head round your intestines, which you tie around your belt. I haven't a clue how this is possible, or what kind of contortionist you are.

I wish for some water.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. It's toilet water, and you've been triple-dog-dared to drink it.

I wish I could simply walk into Mordor.

[vexx32]

Granted, but you're simply enslaved by Sauron as you do so.

I wish this infernal weather would just hurry up and give way to a storm

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. The storm winds up killing all of the Northern Hemisphere.

Yo dawg, you know I like wishes, so I'm gonna wish for a wish so I can wish while I wish!

[quasarrgames]

Granted, but this multitask wishing messes up both wishes. now the second wish is to spontaneously combust.

i wish i could control fire

[rasheed]

Granted, you burn yourself.

I wish to accidentally Jool.

[ThatNoob]

Granted, you die.

I wash for spoons to gouge my eyes out.

[vexx32]

Granted, but we decide to coat the spoons in chlorine trifluoride... sand will not save you this time.

I wish for some youtube videos of that stuff what I linked in action

[rasheed]

You have to pay $$$ for it.

I wish to kill myself and the world with me.

[Designer225]

Granted, you kill everyone in your room (as well as yourself).

I wish I can fly. (Humans can't fly without certain equipment, right?)

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. You can fly, but the government kidnaps you and dissects you to figure out how.

I wish too cach al teh pokeemanz

[Unfawkable]

Granted. You now have all the men that want to poke you.

I wish to never have to work.

[Designer225]

Granted. You are not able to rely on the meager $1000/month unemployment pay.

I wish the person below is not stupid.

[Unfawkable]

Granted. I am not stupid at the moment of typing this, but I will become in the next couple of seconds.

I wish to not have to squint when looking at the sun.

[Noname117]

Granted. You become blinded when you do it, and thus never have to squint at anything again

I wish I was ninja'd

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

Granted. You die from embarrasment

I wish to die

[Noname117]

Granted, but it turns out reincarnation is real, and you just became a blobfish.

I wish someone made a giant blobfish and let it loose in a Canadian city.

[quasarrgames]

Granted. it is released in the "town" of Alert, Nunavut. it is immediately neutralized by the army.

I wish people would recognize that Nicholas Cage is really a good actor, but gets roles in really, really bad movies that no actor could ever do well in. (cough, the wicker man, knowing, cough)

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. He is trampled by his adoring fans.

I wish I didn't have chronic insomnia. I can't sleep 75% of the time.

[vexx32]

Granted. You now have perfect insomnia and cannot sleep until you die from lack of sleep.

I wish I was not so lazy.

[minimuffin]

Granted, but you make a grammar mistake and are arrested.

I wish for the new update to the persistent trails mod to be released now.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted, but you die at that same moment, so you can't enjoy it.

I wish for all teh moniez.