Sign in to follow this  
NetZer0

Why Kerbals are the better humans - a pseudo-psychological analysis w/ help of you!

Recommended Posts

Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon, I've gathered you here today to give you a pseudo-psychological insight over the culture of the Kerbals.

Todays topic is:

"Why Kerbals are the better humans - a review on Kerbal society"

For a long time I did not really understand Kerbal society, but then one afternoon it came to my mind that Kerbals may just be the better humans. I then gathered some data to support my thesis. In the following comparison I will state these facts:

1. Total dedication to science

In comparison to mankind, Kerbals seem to have a total dedication for science! Have you ever seen an entertainment system aboard any Kerbal vessel? Everything aboard is strictly tech-orientated. Not even a simple card deck in one of the drawers! Or take a look into the VAB. I see many Kerbal technicians there, men with yellow and white helmets, scientists or guys with these glowing sticks.

2. Abstinence of women

Also, there's a total abstinence of women in Kerbal society so that mating rituals don't take any of the valuable Kerbal time to further progress into space, compete and defeat mankind in a short time!

3. Abstinence of restrooms

Taking a further look into Kerbal rocketry, I have the feeling there's an absence of any restrooms or portable toilets. By abstaining from any form of digestion, even more time is saved for science and rocketry.

4. Science until death, without fear

Have you ever seen any Kerbal screaming in fear? Ah, of course you have. But these seem to be well-trained actor skills to bring a little drama to KNN (Kerbal News Network). In fact, the Kerbals are totally emotionless and totally fearless. They even fly with rockets which are damned to doom by eyesight. They never protest against any flying vessel they're assigned to. They do whatever you want. They never quit.

5. Experimental parts and higher tech level

The Kerbals fly with parts mankind hasn't even used yet, e.g. Atomic Rockets. They fear no radiation, they fear no overheating. They build stations as big as whole asteroids or bigger. I even heard there are some Kerbals out there who simply let go from gripping their space station, floating around in Orbit freely! I have never seen any human doing this.

6. Costs

The Kerbals have no cost limit. Government seems to support every dollar the Kerbals give away. Rocket explodes thirty times on first day of KSP? Absolutely no problem!

7. Low hunger / Only basic and cheap nutrition

As we see, the Kerbals have a drawer aboard the spaceship titled "Snacks". But the note also states, they have already been eaten! This means that the Kerbals can endure a long time without any healthy nutrition, instead it even seems they can rely on fatty, unhealthy nutrition. As the crew doesn't protest against having no food aboard, I assume they have pre-eaten fatty snacks before the flight. By MockKnizzle - a participant of this ongoing thread - it was brought into the discussion that this could be a sign of photosynthesis which would also be a way to explain the green color of the Kerbals.

8. Physical construction of the Kerbals (brought in by LeonG17)

They are very resilient. They can survive re-entry and supersonic free fall. And then they land on their head and survives, with no damage! They can also be dragged across the landscape by a thruster pack flying gone wrong.

9. Breathing / Leg room (brought in by Dictator Dan)

They are very resilient. They can survive re-entry and supersonic free fall. And then they land on their head and survives, with no damage! They can also be dragged across the landscape by a thruster pack flying gone wrong.

10. Cuteness (brought in by Pachi3080)

Pachi3080 notes that Kerbals are also very cute. From an analysis point of view, this is a real space advantage. Imagine a huge swarm of ant-like lifeforms to visit Earth. Would you stay diplomatic or stay a war? Aww, come on, don't hide your feelings! But then on the other hand imagine a lots of Kerbals visiting Earth. You would do everything for them. I know!

11. They ask no questions (brought in by JaySmoka)

Kerbals never ask any questions, like humans. "Is this neccessary?", "Where do we go?", "How long will it take?", "Do we have enough food?" - typical human questions! Kerbals are like: "Woot!! A new rocket? With atomic engine that overheats? This is great stuff!! LEEEEEETTTTTT's RIIIIIIIIIIDE!!"

12. Head-Body ratio (brought in by Brabbit1987)

It is possible that the Kerbals have very big brains. This is due to the ration between their head- and body-size. They could be incredibly smart if this reflects their real brain size. Humans on the other hand are very limited due to their average-sized skulls which offer no more space for big brains.

13. No government influence / Unity

It seems the whole Kerbal Space Program is not influenced by any specific government, organization (except the "Program"). Even more, it seems the Kerbals don't even think in different nations. They know no racism as they are all equally green. This gives the Kerbals the opportunity to work together as a real team with no cultural misunderstandings to overcome.

-----

Well, I hope you enjoyed my short analysis of Kerbal culture. As new evidence becomes imminent, I will integrate it into here. Or maybe you have even more evidence yourself! Post it here and it could be integrated into this report.

Edited by NetZer0
Still more argumentation

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2. Abstinence of women

Also, there's a total abstinence of women in Kerbal society so that mating rituals don't take any of the valuable Kerbal time to further progress into space, compete and defeat mankind in a short time!

This is the reason with the most impact!

Everyone in a relationship to one of these called "women" can provide with detailed reports of how disturbing they can be related to science!

Without my girlfriend I would be probably not bothering myself right now with a simple mun base, but would have plenty refuel stations in orbit and would making 24/7 interplanetary flights and building a base far far away!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wahaha!! T3E, I laughed so hard about this, I spilled some hot tea over my keyboard. :)

TooManyErrors, what do you mean by that?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One might argue that the lack of love interests puts Kerbals at a disadvantage.

Men and women build rockets on earth to impress their boyfriends and girlfriends back at home!

My great devotion to space travel is likely to find me either a boyfriend or girlfriend!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Total dedication to space? What about the snacks?! :huh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon, I've gathered you here today to give you a pseudo-psychological insight over the culture of the Kerbals.

Todays topic is:

"Why Kerbals are the better humans - a review on Kerbal society"

For a long time I did not really understand Kerbal society, but then one afternoon it came to my mind that Kerbals may just be the better humans. I then gathered some data to support my thesis. In the following comparison I will state

these facts:

1. Total dedication to science

In comparison to mankind, Kerbals seem to have a total dedication for science! Have you ever seen an entertainment system aboard any Kerbal vessel? Everything aboard is strictly tech-orientated. Not even a simple card

deck in one of the drawers! Or take a look into the VAB. I see many Kerbal technicians there, men with yellow and white helmets, scientists or guys with these glowing sticks.

2. Abstinence of women

Also, there's a total abstinence of women in Kerbal society so that mating rituals don't take any of the valuable Kerbal time to further progress into space, compete and defeat mankind in a short time!

3. Abstinence of restrooms

Taking a further look into Kerbal rocketry, I have the feeling there's an absence of any restrooms or portable toilets. By abstaining from any form of digestion, even more time is saved for science and rocketry.

4. Science until death, without fear

Have you ever seen any Kerbal screaming in fear? Ah, of course you have. But these seem to be well-trained actor skills to bring a little drama to KNN (Kerbal News Network). In fact, the Kerbals are totally emotionless and

totally fearless. They even fly with rockets which are damned to doom by eyesight. They never protest against any flying vessel they're assigned to. They do whatever you want. They never quit.

5. Experimental parts and higher tech level

The Kerbals fly with parts mankind hasn't even used yet, e.g. Atomic Rockets. They fear no radiation, they fear no overheating. They build stations as big as whole asteroids or bigger. I even heard there are some Kerbals out

there who simply let go from gripping their space station, floating around in Orbit freely! I have never seen any human doing this.

6. Costs

The Kerbals have no cost limit. Government seems to support every dollar the Kerbals give away. Rocket explodes thirty times on first day of KSP? Absolutely no problem!

-----

Well, I hope you enjoyed my short analysis of Kerbal culture. As new evidence becomes imminent, I will integrate it into here. Or maybe you have even more evidence yourself! Post it here and it could be integrated into this report.

Wrong. Kerbals have a very short lifespan, so the knowledge they gain is quickly lost. We know it as updates.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They are very resilient. They can survive re-entry and supersonic free fall. And then they land on their head and survives, with no damage! They can also be dragged across the landscape by a thruster pack flying gone wrong.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wahaha!! T3E, I laughed so hard about this, I spilled some hot tea over my keyboard. :)

TooManyErrors, what do you mean by that?

Career mode will bring a budget, meaning that you can't build as many ships as you want.

Reentry heat will be added.

Radiation is not in KSP and will probably never be implemented.

If this was real life, chances are the Kerbals will have never even left the Kerbin System.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The whole lack of breathing and no leg room needed is kinda a plus, makes me feel marginally better with a 'accidentally' send the annoying kerbals on one way trips out of the solar system in Mark 1 command pod.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Absence of women? No. I always had the theory that men fly rockets, and women are not that crazy, and generally stay home and cook pancakes for the kids as they watch Daddy land on Duna on KNN. The PfL project can be explained as a teenager who does not want to stay home and cook pancakes.

It's all quite simple, really.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Absence of women? No. I always had the theory that men fly rockets, and women are not that crazy, and generally stay home and cook pancakes for the kids as they watch Daddy land on Duna on KNN. The PfL project can be explained as a teenager who does not want to stay home and cook pancakes.

It's all quite simple, really.

Now tell me where you got your time machine to travel back to the 20's.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Now tell me where you got your time machine to travel back to the 20's.

No, it's not that. They just aren't crazy enough to fly rockets.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see a huge fail already.

Kerbals are not humans, which defeats the whole thread on it's own.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let's face it; Kerbals are meant for space.

Until they develop a slight insanity I.e. Jebediah.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Excuse me! I can fly KSP rockets as well as any man!!!

And this thread is getting worryingly sexist

Oh C'mon.

Its not about individuals but in general (its funny, because statistically women prefer to focus everything on themselves ;) ).

And in general, men are more into this game than women. The ones in a relationship know what I meant with "disturbed" by their wives/GFs.

Try to see things less strict, and more in a fun way.

No one said that female Kerbonauts are bad, just that probably the BFs/HBs also play and dont take away precious time :P

Edited by T3E

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always thought kerbals produced asexually. Like mushrooms.

And they have a short life span, mainly because they hold their Farts and Waste in until they reach 10 and then explode. And they fly rockets to try and get the maximum thrill before they die.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I always thought kerbals produced asexually. Like mushrooms.

And they have a short life span, mainly because they hold their Farts and Waste in until they reach 10 and then explode. And they fly rockets to try and get the maximum thrill before they die.

I thought it was more like when they die they explode into a cloud of spores.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whoa! Whoa! Easy! :D I'm overwhelmed by the massive flood of replies here. Thanks for participating in my studies.

@rryy: I will answer your questions about the snacks and total dedication in the original post.

@LeonG17: Your argumentation is valid. I will integrate it into the original post.

@TooManyErrors: Thanks for clearing me up, I knew that already, but now your posting makes sense.

@Dictator Dan: Sharp observation. Will be integrated.

Everyone, please stay on course of the discussion. Thank you. :) But please, further participation is greatly encouraged!

Edited by NetZer0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I thought it was pointless.

Well, that's because you're secretly a Vulcan :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think a better way to word one of these is an abstinance of sexual reproduction... Merely Asexual, thus the abstinance of genders; saying there's no females can't be true, because with males there has to be females and visa versa.

It's a bit like male and female plug sockets, you cannae have one without the other, or they're redundant

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This thread is quite old. Please consider starting a new thread rather than reviving this one.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this