Make some merchandise!!!

[Penguinhero]

Ok, the rules are to make a fictional piece of kerbal merchandise or kerbalized Object

example: Kerbal coffee mug or Kerbalized car

Lets go!!

I'll start

Kerbal McDonald's happy meal

[Bilfr3d]

Kerbal Home, with all your kerballing needs.

[OrbitusII]

Kerbal iPhone case and mousepad. I'd totally buy both.

[TheHockeyPlayer]

Kerbal cheeseburgers.. *WARNING* The beef may taste funny... and look green.

[Yuriski]

Kerbal Phone Protection Cover - only protects your phone if it lands upside-down (On it's head).

[Captain Sierra]

Kerbal stovetop - uses SRBs for a 'rapid cooking experience'

[OdinYggd]

I really could go for an official KSP Navball. Fully functional (minus direction markers).

[KasperVld]

Kerbal voices for your GPS system

[swiftgates24]

Wouldn't that be...uh...be hard to understand?

[Rainbowtrout]

Kerbal Brand Bread: Cooked by SRBs since 2013

[ninjakids]

Kerbal Model Rockets, which goes up to a scale of 12 meters in diameter and have reached Geostationary orbit.

(Thats how I always pictured kerbal toy rockets, cuz kerbals seem to able to get to Jool on a regular basis)

[BurntPhoenix]

Kerbal Brand Jeb-certified firecrackers. Good for breaking every window and triggering every car alarm within a half mile radius.

[Flymetothemun]

Kerbal Computers: You have to program them with toggle switches like an Altair and can run previously-written programs off of thin, easily-ripped and tangled paper tape that needs to be programmed in alternating Binary and Hexadecimal with a screwdriver, a pencil, and a 100 Pound sledgehammer. If you have a screen it has to have a resolution of 50*50, must be connected with a special 3,621-pin connector and all you have is a text-based prompt that can only run FORTRAN programs.

Kerbal Internet (Not merchandise, but something to purchase the merchandise with): Like ARPANET, but slower and more confusing to run. Also has crappy interfacing capabilities and only transmits a byte every minute.

Kerbal Outboard Motor: Extremely noisy, no cover on the engine, fuel hog, turns all water within 10 feet to steam, and occasionally explodes or catches boat or other boats on fire.

Kerbal FM Radio: Receives like a champ but always has strange plastic, copper, and asphalt-smelling vapour emanating from the 8-track hole.

Kerbal Candy: Tastes great, Laced with addictive and radioactive carcinogens and randomly makes tongue swell up to 1 Kilometre long by 50 Kilometres wide or shrink to the size of 2 Hydrogen atoms.

Kerbal Action figures: Like regular action figures but with jetpacks. Random string that when pulled sets off M-80 inside.

Kerbal TV: Functions like a regular TV, but is extremely pixelated.

Kerbal Headphones: Tinny, no bass, and are extremely uncomfortable. Only 2 volume settings: OFF and 2,000 Decibels. Requires RTG to run

Kerbal Pen: Writes poorly and if tip is pushed on hard enough a thermonuclear device hidden inside the pen activates. If it is chewed on a 100,000 Volt, 10,000,000 Ampere battery discharges into the chewer's body.

Kerbal Mouse: Has Gyros inside that make it extremely difficult to move.

Edited October 12, 2013 by Flymetothemun
It needed to be edited. Why are you reading this!? You should be reading other comments!