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[Top Secret] ███████ craft found!


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Kerbal engineers have recently recovered a craft of ███████ origin (possibly █████) which had been frozen in ice on Kerbin's tundra near the █████ ████. After thawing, the craft ███████ up and flew ██ ███ ███, being guided back to KSC spaceplane hanger via ██████████ ██████, ████████ ███████████, or ███████ ██████ █████. Craft possibly █████ - ███ has named it █████.

Craft images:

redacted.png

redacted.png

redacted.png

redacted.png

redacted.png

Technology on board is ███████ or more beyond Kerbal state-of-the-art. Visual appearance and high mass indicate strong gravitic affinity and surface adhesion, but craft flies easily - kerbal scientists claim this is due to '███████' technology and begin testing 'other things which shouldn't fly' by dousing them in jet fuel and throwing them at each other. All █████████-shaped items now classified Top Secret including ██████, ███████, and ██████████.

Engineering report shows lift equations generate negative values, but craft files effortlessly:

fI1Ohyrm.png

No visible means of propulsion, but fuel consumed at a high rate. Launch sequence confusing - on take-off █████ applies (B)█████ at 100m/s which makes the craft go ██. Invisible on all █████, at night, and in sufficiently dense ███ (especially with the ██████ off).

Controls:

(1) ██████ ██████ ██████

(2) ██████ █████ ███████

(3) ██████ ██████ ██████

(4) ██████ █████ ███████

Excess fuel capacity detected, but all attempts to feed █████ more fuel end with catastrophic failure. After consulting the oracle, the circle of wizards has declared this is a B.U.G., with the explanation 'control surfaces attached on delta wings which are themselves attached intersecting or forward of the center of mass will have their action direction inverted' - whatever that means. Stupid wizards.

Craft file (69 parts):

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_i9mp_pYiR0M2NLd0tNaFNYNGc/view?usp=sharing

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TooSpooky4Me. This is a new idea to gain views and downloads on a craft. Add a catch to it. I still dont know how it flies with downward lift.... Sorcery I tell you or has infinaglide been returned :huh: The world may never know because the aliens have corrupted this thread and so has the download (Just kidding about the download). Great concept though. :D

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hmm, that's odd. I didn't post it that way.

Of course you did; there is no CIA, there's no government either, both are just conspiracies birthed from the invention off th Internet which has been around for the past 200 years.

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Wanted:

Name: Jebediah Kerman

Offense: Theft and destruction of the ███████

Last Seen: Parachuting out over KSP HQ as the ███████ spontaneously deconstructed while attempting to buzz the control tower

Consider extremely reckless

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███████ ██████████████ ███████ █████████ ███ ███ ████ ███████ █████ █ ██████

Edit: ██████ ███

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I found [DATA EXPUNGED] Ker[REDACTED] at the ████████

Edit: ████ seen at ████

Edited by JokingHinge
████████
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SCP # SCP-BADA55-J

Threat Level: Keter

SCP-BADA55-J, also known as [REDACTED] is a short, green, humanoid creature which wears a helmet and suit similar to 20th-century spacesuits. SCP-BADA55-J appears harmless, but has been known to go to extraordinary lengths to place itself in control of any large vehicle available. When multiple vehicles are nearby, SCP-BADA55-J tends to show a preference for aircraft or anything that involves rocket propulsion. If SCP-BADA55-J is ever allowed to commandeer such a vehicle, it will immediately attempt to abscond with it, and so far every attempt on its part has resulted in a catastrophic crash. In some cases the subject has managed to travel quite far and may even have changed vehicles on the way, but eventually it has always ended up crashing and usually causing massive property damage. SCP-BADA55-J itself, however, never seems to be killed or even injured in these events. Occasionally it will appear to have been destroyed, but within a few days it invariably resurfaces and resumes its usual behavior.

SCP-BADA55-J is to be kept in a padded cell and provided with a constant supply of distractions in the form of toy rockets as well as a computer with a copy of [REDACTED] installed and kept as up-to-date as possible. In the event that the subject escapes, it must immediately be captured and restrained before gaining access to any vehicle. Should it gain access, all personnel shall be evacuated from an area to be determined by the maximum possible blast radius from the vehicle in question crashing, multiplied by 2 as a safety margin. All local fire departments are to be alerted in any region through which the subject passes, and all air traffic, including military traffic, is to be immediately grounded with the exception of a minimal number of surveillance craft (preferably drones). As soon as the vehicle inevitably crashes, it and the subject are to be recovered and the subject is to be returned to its cell as soon as possible. If the crash site is deemed hazardous, it is to be secured first and the subject's recovery made second priority.

SCP-BADA55-J appears to have no need for food, water, or other sustenance. When made available, the subject will consume "snack" foods enthusiastically, but shows no signs of discomfort or loss of health when deprived of these. Some have hypothesized that SCP-BADA55-J is able to perform photosynthesis, an idea bolstered by its green coloration, but even when kept in dark rooms for extended periods SCP-BADA55-J has exhibited no ill effects.

SCP-BADA55-J appears to communicate with those who enter its cell, but its language is unintelligible and does not match any known human language. It tends to appear cheerful, even in extremely dangerous situations, and will rarely display an expression other than smiling. In the event that it does stop smiling, it will usually resume smiling within a few seconds. SCP-BADA55-J appears to be fairly intelligent, as evidenced by the complexity of its constructions in [REDACTED], and displays a childlike playfulness toward toys, people, and vehicles.

Edited by parameciumkid
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FAR ███████ good to ███ in FAR

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