You might be a scrub in KSP if....

[pvtnum11]

Note! This is purely for the sake of humor, and mostly built off *my* experiences early on in KSP. No offense intended. If you have examples to add, feel free, but NO MENTIONING ANY NAMES. Most of these can be fixed by some reading up on the forums, wiki articles, and just trial and error.

You Might Be A Scrub In KSP If....

1 Terms like Periapsis and Apoapsis confuse you.

2 You mix up Periapsis and Apoapsis on a regular basis.

3 You take the "Moar Boosters" thing literally.

4 Parachute deployment happens during launch quite often.

5 Half your part count is devoted to struts, because "Moar Struts" must be good advice.

6 Bigger = Better, right?

7 Units of speed and distance are frequently stated to be Imperial units, like feet, miles and so on.

8 Mun landings are nigh-impossible without heavy use of HUGE rocket parts, most of which are from mods.

9 The phrase "Rocket Equation" means nothing to you.

10 It doesn't matter if our spacecraft only draws a little bit of power for SAS usage, we need a TON of solar panels - they look good.

11 Career mode? Only if it's set to Easy and then tweaked to give me a huge amount of funds, rep and science to start.

12 Going to land on the Mun? Get into a 100km orbit (or was that 100 miles?) and then burn backwards until you stop. Fall all the way down for a landing - which usually needs a rescue mission.

13 You are in awe over folks that can pull off Mun landings without any mods at all.

14 You cannot fathom the act of pulling off a rendezvous or landing without Mechanical Jebediah.

15 The most complex rocket you made was specifically built to destroy the entire KSC facility in one launch, but you somehow can't manage a trip to Duna.

16 Spaceplanes and SSTO's run off of distilled witchcraft and arcane arts, and are to be avoided at all times.

17 Ooo, that makes a nice pic. (whips out cellphone)

18 "Guys, why can't my game run on [insert ten-year-old system here]?"

19 "Cool rocket, can I get the craft file?"

20 "Yeah, I've been to Duna once, so you could say that I'm somewhat of a KSP expert now."

21 "Check out my youtube vid that I recorded with a potato!"

22 (bonus) "Hey guys, check out this offer for some Raybans for 90% off!"

Again, this is in jest and for a laugh. Most of these have applied to me at one time or another. Feel free to add your scrub-tastic noob moments below!

[dryer_lint]

But "More Boosters" is legitimate advice lots of the time

[Asharad]

I don't get it.

[LittleBlueGaming]

3 You take the "Moar Boosters" thing literally. I'm not supposed to?

4 Parachute deployment happens during launch quite often. Usually it's in orbit, I'll mess up my hotkeys and hit space to start a burn.

6 Bigger = Better, right? I get the 'Your rocket is too tall' message far too often.

9 The phrase "Rocket Equation" means nothing to you. Who the what now?

10 It doesn't matter if our spacecraft only draws a little bit of power for SAS usage, we need a TON of solar panels - they look good. In all fairness, solar panels do look very spacecraft-y.

16 Spaceplanes and SSTO's run off of distilled witchcraft and arcane arts, and are to be avoided at all times. They're on my bucket list, I swear!

I'm only 27.27% scrub

• You routinely miss your maneuver node because you're impatient and waiting until the last second to cancel time warp.
  
• You send a manned mission anywhere without a parachute... or heat shield... or stack decoupler.
  
• Your version of a gravity turn is straight up to 10km, banking to 45 degrees as quickly as possible, then coast to apoapsis and start circularizing your orbit.
  
• You send a pod+probe to rescue someone from orbit, and realize Jeb is sitting in the pod once you try to board.
  
• Nothing on your space station lines up, every module is rotated haphazardly.
  

[Fraggle]

You mount Docking ports backwards, and dont realize until you try docking with it in orbit.

^

You mount docking ports and immediately add a separator under it.

[Hotaru]

3, 5, 6, 10, 16, and 20 all sound like me either now or at some point in the past. Never done 15 but sounds like a good idea. Will try it at next opportunity. Hopefully will remember to do it in my sandbox save, not career.

Here's another: your launch pad needs frequent repairs cause you keep dropping spent SRB's on it. Or cause you often forget to check your TWR and your rockets go down instead of up when you release the launch clamps.

[KerikBalm]

4 Parachute deployment happens during launch quite often.

They do have that annoying habit, that's just being careless often.... its not like we can't be careless... revert flight is a thing, we'd be more careful if it wasn't there

5 Half your part count is devoted to struts, because "Moar Struts" must be good advice.

This is a sign that you're a long time KSP player, from when struts were massless, dragless, and rockets were even more wobbly.

15 The most complex rocket you made was specifically built to destroy the entire KSC facility in one launch, but you somehow can't manage a trip to Duna.

Well.. maybe it makes you not a scrub, but Kautistic... desrtoying the entire KSC in one launch is a sign of some skill, just in a narrow area.

18 "Guys, why can't my game run on [insert ten-year-old system here]?"

Well... I don't want to be elitist here, some people don't have money to constantly replace their computers.

"Cool rocket, can I get the craft file?"

What is wrong with that? (although I've never done it)

21 "Check out my youtube vid that I recorded with a potato!"

22 (bonus) "Hey guys, check out this offer for some Raybans for 90% off!"

???

21 = "I can count to potato reference?

22 = ?!?!?!

Additional ones:

* You still don't understand oberth effect: you do your plane changes at periapsis

* You don't understand a hohman transfer, if you need to lower both your periapsis, and apoapsis, you think "oberth" and do your first burn at periapsis, to lower your apoapsis, and then do your second burn at your new periapsis, to lower your old periapsis

* More stages is always better. 3x stages of a LV-T engine + FL-T400 tank is surely better than 1 stage of a LV-T engine + 3x FL-T400 tanks, right!?!?!

Edited May 24, 2015 by KerikBalm

[worir4]

But "More Boosters" is legitimate advice lots of the time

You mean ALL the time right?

Also I believe the phrase is MOAR BOOSTERS.

[problemecium]

I am relieved not to be a scrub xD

The closest issue of concern to me is considering myself an expert despite hardly ever going on any interplanetary trips, but I can make up for it with my amazing rendezvous and docking prowess ;P

[Yukon0009]

3,5,7,9 AND 16 describe me.

I always make big things when they are not replicas of some sort.

Ie I know Kerbodyne tanks aren't neccesary to go to Mun, but I do that anyways because they look cool.

Also, more boosters is good advice actually.

[SpaceChipmunk]

Also relieved to not be a Scrub (Whatever that is)!

Though the Imperial units is harsh. Some people come from countries (or an age) where imperial was all that they were taught. I regularly look at the distances and read them in both Km and Miles. It is purely due to my age and coming from the UK.

[Roderik]

number 18 is almost me. no not that my system can't run it but 3 more years to go and my system is 10 years old

[Geschosskopf]

Also relieved to not be a Scrub (Whatever that is)!

Though the Imperial units is harsh. Some people come from countries (or an age) where imperial was all that they were taught. I regularly look at the distances and read them in both Km and Miles. It is purely due to my age and coming from the UK.

Yeah, metric is just for people who can't do fractions in their heads .

Anyway, on doing career on easy with huge rewards, I unashamedly do that routinely. My favorite type of game is essentially sandbox but with working science, contracts, and some worries about money impinging on my grandiose plans for massive colonies on other planets. So I consider grinding up the tech tree merely an annoyance on the way to the real fun, so I try to get through it as quickly as possible.

[BlackSun]

* Putting on Ion Engines backwards and wondering why they won't light up blue. For longer than one Week.

[Rithsom]

I was building a rocket for a Jool ion probe, and it kept getting bigger and bigger because I thought more boosters would get it to space. After many failed attempts I finally decided to replace the launcher with a much smaller one, and it ended up working on the first try...

[GoSlash27]

-Your early missions are geared toward money instead of science because the facilities are hampering you more than the parts.

Best,

-Slashy

[Volix]

-You put the Mk2 inline docking port on the bottom of the spaceplane, then later forget and put landing gear right over it.

Yeah, I did that, thought I was so clever since the bottoms of planes are typically much more flat (less chance of breaking something). It still managed to dock though .

[Pax Kerbana]

12 Going to land on the Mun? Get into a 100km orbit (or was that 100 miles?) and then burn backwards until you stop. Fall all the way down for a landing - which usually needs a rescue mission.

Hey, it works! That was how my first ever Mun landing went... A few burns along the way and it's not a total suicide.

I say you're a scrub in KSP if every part of your space station needs batteries, solar panels, RCS, reaction wheels, and a probe core... and docking needs to be done at launch.

[Xannari Ferrows]

...you happen upon the Ion engine, and walk away thinking it's nothing significant.

[Commissioner Tadpole]

19 "Cool rocket, can I get the craft file?"

While I understand the rest, this one makes no sense to me. What's wrong with getting craft files? Don't act like a "Stop Having Fun" guy.

[EdusacconBR]

i can manage to duna, but i cant come back

[StrandedonEarth]

When you press the spacebar to launch, and your 1000 ton rocket falls onto the launchpad and everything explodes.

Not that I've ever done that......

[WinkAllKerb'']

new entry:

If your not always too not enough always never serious. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Roderik]

When you press the spacebar to launch, and your 1000 ton rocket falls onto the launchpad and everything explodes.

Not that I've ever done that......

when your 1000 ton rocket launches and the launchpad explodes due to the power of your rockets

[Scotius]

Believe me - it is better to have a couple extra solar panels, than be skimpy and lose your masterpiece interplanetary mission because you installed only two solar panels (three would ensure at least one would be facing Kerbol and kept probe core working ).