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For Science! (You've forgotten this existed, haven't you?)


RocketSquid

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4 hours ago, RocketSquid said:

I got a lot done today/yesterday! And by that I mean I got nothing done besides KSP.

Which means it was a good day.  For comparison, I spent the morning doing my confiscatory and usurious taxes that I know only "rob productive Peter to pay for collective Paul"  (a Kipling quote).  To work out my anger at this, I then spent the noon hours at the local park's "water jogging track" (aka pond) pushing my kayak around without any scenery or alligators to enjoy, meanwhile inhaling a dozen gnats with every breath.  Thus self-flagellated, I next went to the whiskey store and ain't hit a lick since, in real life or KSP.  I envy you your constructive productivity.  Just don't tell Uncle Sam or he'll tax your productive time in KSP :(

 

4 hours ago, RocketSquid said:

Soon, though, it wore off, and they were confronted with the dilema of the boosters,

"The boosters still have a significant amount of fuel left in them," Said Asta, "Enough to get us an intersect"

"I can hardly run the docking procedures with a massive fuel tank on each side of the ship!"

"Can't you just discard them after the burn?"

"Then we run the risk of them hitting the station."

"Okay, then. Looks like we're discarding them now, since the burn is in..."

That's a much more elegant way of getting a high-lift aircraft to orbit than my usual bass-ackwards lifter.  Don't regret the wasted fuel, rejoice in having gotten the payload up!

 

4 hours ago, RocketSquid said:

Unfortunately, the ship proved to have some... ahem... "difficulties" docking. And by that I mean it collided with the station four times before Gusler managed to keep it from spontaneously spinning.

Sometimes things dock right off, sometimes you have to hammer them together.  I wish this was more consistent, even if that meant always having to hammer stuff :).

 

3 hours ago, RocketSquid said:

Bob edited the report. "The stage impacted with the ice and the engine was destroyed. I estimate that the plume reached a height of 150 meters. The tank, propelled by the blast, flew up, eventually going above the lander. Moments later, it impacted the surface and was destroyed reduced to just a tank, which rolled across the surface. This leads us to conclude that the surface of Minmus is fairly soft, and rather forgiving of impacts."

Yay for Soviet-style "crasher" stages.  It's one of my favorite things to do early in a career.  It tends to minimize debris prior to unlocking TAC Self-Destruct :).  Sadly, it doesn't work too well on Minmus.  But gratuitous explosions are gratuitous explosions, so I take what I can get.

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2 hours ago, Geschosskopf said:

 Just don't tell Uncle Sam or he'll tax your productive time in KSP :(

Fortunately, I'm a minor. Unfortunately, tomorrow's schedule is:

8:00: Breakfast

9:00: Tech ed homework

12:00: Lunch

12:30: Thirty precious minutes of free time!

1:00: Latin homework

2:30: Math homework

4:30: Probably some other homework that I forgot.

6:30: Study for health test

8:00: Study for biology quiz

2 hours ago, Geschosskopf said:

That's a much more elegant way of getting a high-lift aircraft to orbit than my usual bass-ackwards lifter.  Don't regret the wasted fuel, rejoice in having gotten the payload up!

Yes, I found this early on in my Mk2 orbiter development. Mounting them to the side of a booster meant dealing with imbalanced thrust, and thus ruled out LV-Ns as orbiter engines. Mounting it atop a booster was laughably unstable, doubly so since early versions had twin engines. Eventually, I mounted engines symetrically "above" and "below" the orbiter (above and below if it were in gliding configuration), which later evolved into the beautiful wingtip designs you see now.

2 hours ago, Geschosskopf said:

Sometimes things dock right off, sometimes you have to hammer them together.  I wish this was more consistent, even if that meant always having to hammer stuff :).

Unfortunately, it wasn't even hammering. It was more like trying to thread a needle while wearing an eyepatch.

2 hours ago, Geschosskopf said:

Yay for Soviet-style "crasher" stages.  It's one of my favorite things to do early in a career.  It tends to minimize debris prior to unlocking TAC Self-Destruct :).  Sadly, it doesn't work too well on Minmus.  But gratuitous explosions are gratuitous explosions, so I take what I can get.

Yup, it's quite helpful, although this is the closest to the ground one has been jettisoned. And I'm not too worried about the surviving tank, it could be useful since this is a prime base location- big, flat, and easy to reach. And as far as I know the ore isn't half bad, either. Plus, I'm actually going to give some science using debug since that would have been a valid impactor experiment.

 

Also, there was a secret fourth part that I didn't have time to post. I'll put it up as an interlude tomorrow during my 30 minutes or if any of my homework is shorter than expected. Be prepared for something big.

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Surprise! I'm writing it now!

Intermission: Something Big:

Gene walked into mission control. The koffepot was full once more, the arrowhead had safely reached the station, and the Beagle had landed. It was a good day. It was about to get better.

"Herr Flightdirektor! Ve haff something to show you!"

"Alright, Wernher, what is it?"

"Vell, ve haff lots of cardboard boxes, and lots of interns, so ve had the interns use the boxes to make a full scale cardboard replica of ze Duna Interplanetary!"

"KARP!! Where did you build that!?"

"Vhy, in ze spaceplane hanger, ov course! Come see."

As they neared the hanger, Wernher told Gene to close his eyes. He obliged.

****Authors Note: Before looking at the ship in the spoiler tag, please start some sufficiently dramatic music, such as this.****

Spoiler

 

:0.0:

 

 

 

"Holey boosters!!!"

"Ja, ze sim just doesn't give you ze right sense of scale. It's even better since we can just hang the model from the ceiling."

"What kind of engines are those? Er,  what are they modeled after?"

"Those vould be Bimodal NTRs. Ze test models arrived from Jeb's Junkyard yesterday. Theoretically, zey should be able to accomodate three hundred percent of the Duna Interplanetary's power demands."

"What exactly do we use that power for?"

"Ultra high power communications. Zis thing can serve as a communications relay."

"And, am I right that that power would be used to run the ISRU unit?"

"Ja! Although ve are not to sure about including zat. Ze ship has more than enough fuel, so ze only use vould be B-Stoff and oxidizer for ze landers."

"B-Stoff?"

"Monopropellant. Sorry, herr flightdirektor. Force of habit, from back in the dachlandish space program."

"Ah, okay. Why B-Stoff?"

"Vell, 'Stoff' just means 'stuff', and it was the second stuff we thought of using in rockets that didn't haff a name, so..."

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7 hours ago, RocketSquid said:

1:00: Latin homework

I like to see folks learning Latin.  Good for you.

 

6 hours ago, RocketSquid said:

****Authors Note: Before looking at the ship in the spoiler tag, please start some sufficiently dramatic music, such as this.****

Quite a ship!  What do the icons on the fuel tanks mean?

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4 hours ago, Geschosskopf said:

Quite a ship!  What do the icons on the fuel tanks mean?

Since the tanks are reconfigurable, they have icons to more easily tell their contents. You wouldn't want a kerbal trying to open the LF tank thinking it held snacks...

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So, I have some news for all 10 (?) of my readers. I'm probably going to stick with my one-chapter-per-week schedule until 1.1 drops and most of my mods are updated, at which point I will have to take a two-week break to update my game.

Meanwhile, in game:

The Arrowhead will not return to kerbin for a while, since I will be using it to retrieve our minmus kerbonauts, as the Minmus Mariner incapable of reentry (the parachutes exist only as a Launch Abort System, and will be removed on future missions).

Once it's landed and recovered, I'll probably begin assembling the Duna Interplanetary, starting with the bridge segment, which is capable of unmanned control.

Next I'll launch the hub segment, a BuildR construction robot, and the ISRU segment.

The fuel segment will likely require a new launch vehicle, as it exceeds the capabilites of the Kerbin 3-V, and even the Kerbin 4-VII. Most likely, I'll need to launch it empty using an Eve 1-VIII or Eve 5-XVI. Hopefully I won't need to bring out the Jool series.

The engines will be launched last, and the crew and some refueling vessels will follow. The refueling vessels will likely be disassembled and used for materials later, using OSE workshop.

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Interlude time! Nothing happening in universe of any particular note, so I'll be doing something different.

Infolude: Kerbal Biology and Prehistory:

The kerbal, or Kerbal kerbal, descended from photosynthetic protists. While these creatures had the ability to photosynthesise, they remained mobile, eventually evolving into large, multicellular, mobile organisms. Over time, a rigid cell wall appeared in some but not all of their cells, allowing a more advanced structure than the slime they came from.

Modern kerbals retain their photosynthetic abilities, and in some circumstances show a sort of closed metabolic loop, requiring no food or external nutrition, only sunlight. However, their meager photosynthesis cannot sustain a full range of activities, and typically only supplies all necessary energy if the kerbal is willing to sleep for 5 hours a day. Originally, this was just what they did, until they realized that their functional digestive systems worked for getting energy in addition to minerals (normally accomplished by eating dirt), and that they could remain active for nearly 4 hours a day if they were willing to snack occasionally. As you can tell, kerbals are not particularly smart. However, they are nothing if not relentless. Over the next few years, they managed to scare off most of their predators by making loud noise, waving sticks around, and setting things on fire, themselves included. Having gotten predators out of the way, they decided it was high time they got rid of that stupid Mun thing that was blocking such a huge patch of the sky. To that end, they began launching primitive wooden rockets up, in an effort to scare it off like they did to the predators. Inevitably, one kerbal had an accident while setting up his rocket, and was launched skyward. He soon realized that the Mun was farther than they had thought. Eventually, over years of launching themselves to get a closer look, they became rather fond of it, and decided it would be better to go up and tame it, as they had to kittehkats and dawgs. Meanwhile, some other kerbals were working on exploring the world, which they did by walking, swimming, and later by making rafts out of kerbals, who would work in shifts to alternate rowing and floating. In time, they had colonized the entire, very small planet.

Kerbals reproduce sexually, using pollen emitted by the males and seeds created by the females after being pollinated. Unfortunately, most pollinators wouldn't have anything to do with kerbals, and so the kerbals were forced to resort to more... unique ways of spreading pollen, such as setting their pants on fire, causing the pollen from their hair to drift upwards in the hot air currents. At a certain point, they decided it would be a lot easier to just brush out the pollen into a little bag and give the bag to the desired mate.

Kerbals are biologically immortal, and very close to literally immortal. On death, roughly 73% of their cells become free living extremophiles, which can revert to their previous state and eventually reform when in a safe environment. This gives a damaged recreation of the previous kerbal, which will heal up after about a week. Due to the impracticality of this approach for offworld kerbals, TKSA collects tissue samples of any kerbals preparing to leave for a mission, allowing them to grow a replacement kerbal, identical to the original at the time of departure, on the event of the kerbonaut's demise.

Kerbals have functional circulatory and respiratory systems, which move oxygen and carbon dioxide into, out of, and throughout the body.

Next time: Ancient Kerbal History

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Because I'm bored and nothing's happening in-game, here's another infolude.

Also, I'm currently using the excellent kerbin political map from this thread. I was introduced to it by @CatastrophicFailure.

Infolude: Ancient History:

Having spread themselves across the world, the kerbals realized that they no longer needed to cluster themselves so tightly. Therefore, they decided to invent a reason not to relocate their dwellings. As a result, the concept of a city (from the Litan word "citay", or group of kerbals") was invented. These cities had little in common with each other, besides holding a lot of kerbals.

Eventually, the kerbals figured out that things would get much easier if they worked together and split the jobs, as previously kerbals who were very good at building things had a bunch of houses that they couldn't do anything with, and kerbals who were very good at finding snacks often had to give up their homes to store all of the snacks. Soon, the cities grew grander and grander, with teams of dedicated archytects (from the Litan words "Archy" and "tecter" together meaning, "Kerbal who is very good at making arches") building structures, kept fed by the snack-finders (A  Litan word meaning "Kerbal who finds snacks").

Later, a clumsy snack-finder by the name of Farmin dropped some of his snack haul on a patch of dirt outside his house, only to find snack-plants growing there the next day. As he experimented more, he was able to determine which snacks could be planted, and which had seeds that they didn't eat. His experiments unlocked a new, more powerful way to get snacks. Now, the question of what to do with all of these snacks arose, especially how to distribute all of them. Some cities had it all placed in one central building, known as a "restaurant", "diner", or "kafeteria", where snacks were stored and distributed. The first two later came to mean any place where snacks were sold, but the last one became the name of the system, "kafeterinism". Other cities, on the other hand, decided that kerbals should be able to get snacks in exchange for things, such as houses or haircuts or fireworks. This system became known as "kapitalism", from the Litan word "Kapit", meaning "Help my head is on fire".

And speaking of Litan, it was the official language of the Ronam empire, which came a bit later. Essentially, the leaders of one city, Ronam, decided that if kerbals were more productive in cities, then cities would be even more productive in city-cities. They also decided that "city-city" just sounded dumb, and decided to call it an empire, from the Litan word "Empier", or "that which provides pie". Yes, they did derive it from a Litan word despite speaking Litan, as they had actually forgotten that during the meeting. The current ruler (not to mention founder) of the city, Remulus Kerman, decided to name the empire the Ronam empire, since he really liked that name, if you haven't noticed.

The Ronam empire went on to have many more emperors (lit. "Pastry chef"), including:

  • Julius Kaesar, who first discovered that changing your last name does not, in fact, result in spontaneous combustion, and that that whole superstition probably started as a really, really mean practical joke;
  • Augustus Kaesar, who, among many other things, made Munths and Minmunths into official units of time and invented the concept of "police", who kept kerbals from stealing snacks
  • Nero, who played a traditional Ronam funerary fiddle while the city of Ronam burned due to careless use of fireworks. He later built a new, non-flammable city on the ruins. The myths of his insanity are due to confusing him with the previous emperor, Jeff the Generally Weird and Ineffective.
  • Gene Kerman I, who started the Ronam space program. While limited by the lack of aluminum, electricity, and welding, this program did manage to send Jebediah Kerman I (A direct male-line ancestor of the Jeb who works for TKSA) into space. This emperor is an ancestor of the current flight director Gene Kerman the entirely-too-large-a-number.

 

Of course, in such an age of expansion, conflict is inevitable. And there is but one thing that can truly drive a kerbal to conquest:

Snacks.

Snacks have been the cause of every war in kerbal history (with the exception of the Troyjan war, which we DO NOT SPEAK OF!!).

Back before the age of cities, kerbs would protect their snacks by stepping between the would-be thief and the precious snacks. Later, as cities arose, many kerbals would join hands and form a complete barrier around the restaurant. Later, they begun building walls, which managed to counter everything short of ladders, grappling hooks, and incredibly burly kerbals and/or enraged livestock. This method of warfare persists to this day.

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So, I realize that I haven't posted an actual chapter in 9 days. So, here's an out of universe look at what's happening:

Spoiler

Are you really sure you want to see this?

Spoiler

Okay, here goes:

Absolutely nothing.

 

Currently, Bill, Bob, Jeb, and Val are enjoying minmus while a team of secret corporate space ninjas retrofit their cabin with RPM equipment. Gusler and Asta are docked with the space station, which has also been struck by the RPM retrofit ninjas. When the Minmus Mariner returns to Kerbin orbit, the Arrowhead will pick up its crew.

Meanwhile, beyond the fourth wall, I've been testing various weird things in a different save and playing the 1.1 pre-release on my other install.

Since the full release of 1.1 will be accompanied by a major update to DSEV, which means I'll be holding off on building the Duna Interplanetary, since I'll need to replace ~85% of its components (Every HexTruss and fuel tank). Also, 1.1 brings non-evil stock 64-bit, which means increased mod support, which hopefully means that I'll be able to install Kopernicus and the Saru planet pack!

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I had a productive day off! I read up to the start of act 6 in homestuck, but more importantly, I managed to make my new install and update 39 of my 82 mods (with all the USI mods counted as one for both numbers), and 26 of the remaining mods don't need to be updated, which means I'm waiting on 14 mods still. Of those, I expect about 5 to be ready very soon, and a few others I can start without. Which means tomorrow, another infolude!

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So, time for an infolude, as promised.

Infolude: MOAR History:

After the time of the Ronam empire, kerbin was plunged into a dark age for nearly three hours. This was determined to be because of an eclipse, which happened every so often, but this one was seen as an omen, leading the cities to attempt to refound the Ronam Empire. Unfortunately, none of them really wanted to submit to Ronam again, so they decided, "Why don't we just start our own empire?". All of them. At the same time.

After a brief (~4 day) period of conquest, some of the cities emerged victorious, with mini-empires known as "nations". Some, such as Ussari, Kerima, Dachland, and Abvonovichatkaderivokistan still exist to this day, while others, such as Murp and Potatopolis, soon died off (Although many say that Potatopolis still exists somewhere, either under the ocean or in space, as it notably was built under a giant glass dome and destroyed by a volcano).

And for a time, these nations fought. From the ashes of old nations, new nations arose, including the Untied States of Kelpogart, who, among other things, hated lace-up shoes and named their nation to reflect that. Sooner or later, things stabilized, and they stayed this way for about 70 years, which was quite a long time for the kerbals. During this time, the kerbals made many great new technological advances, including flushing toilets, lighting that didn't set everything on fire, electricity (which did set everything on fire, at least at first), and most importantly, the airplane. The airplane was originally invented by Orville and Wilbur Kerman, who, in an astonishingly successful attempt to win a contest, made a paper airplane big enough to ride on and strapped fireworks to the back. Predictably, it exploded, but not before filling their heads with wonderful ideas for ones that wouldn't. Soon, they made those ideas into reality. Unfortunately, the planes still were made of flammable materials, and propelled by fire. This would never do. They would need to make some sort of an "engine" to hold the fire. They succeeded, only to find that fire can't propel them when it's contained. So next, they added a spinny thing to be spun by the fire and move air-wheels. Unfortunately, they soon realized that wheels need ground, but in a lucky accident involving a very bent air-wheel, they discovered that certain shapes make wind when spun. Eventually, they managed to discover aerodynamics despite general incompetence, and finally created something that sane kerbals would fly.

Predictably, this invention revolutionized warfare. Now, instead of fumbling to climb the walls, they could fly over. Additionally, the invention of the fire-spinny-thing allowed larger and larger ground vehicles, which previously had to be pushed. Obviously, this was also applied, rather haphazardly, to make a vehicle that would simply go through walls. Soon, these new inventions would be applied in the greatest war known to kerb.

Edited by RocketSquid
Finishing it
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Hello readers! (All 10 of you)

Today is an exciting day. Today... We have conquered the tides of modding. We have beat back the swarms of slow updates and dead mods. We have achieved these things, not through honor or valor, but through tireless effort and creative workarounds (Also known as "cheating"). We have done these things, we have won these battles,

For Science!!!

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So, it is entirely too late to write a chapter, considering I seem to have fallen back into my pre-1.1 schedule of "do nothing, then write something to satiate self, claim that it's to keep readers occupied." Instead, another Infolude!

Infolude: The First Kerbin War:

The newfound peace, unfortunately, did not last. Eventually, the political situation in Yaltika devolved to name calling, pinching, and extreme noogieing.This, of course, led to war. Kerbin was divided, just as Yaltika was. Dachland and a number of countries came in on the side of West Yaltika, but most of Yaltika's neighbors came in on the side of East Yaltika.

Eventually, the now-major powers of Kerbin, Kelpogart, Gratniena, Ussari, and Abvonovichatkaderivokistan, were forced to join the fight, with the first two pretty much just trying to stop this whole stupid thing, and the last coming in with their allies in Dachland. Ussari, having made the decision to mostly ignore outside politics, elected to attack any combatants they could find with the traditional Ussari weapon, the wet towel. This proved stunningly effective, and if Ussari had elected to fight on any particular side they would have turned the tide. As it was they merely annoyed everyone, but surprisingly only into thinking that the Ussaris were fighting on the opposite side. The ridiculous truth only came to light later, when sullen, vaguely discomforted, and/or entirely unaffected veterans sat around fires and swapped stories, at which point it was realized just how strange Ussari foreign policy was. But I digress.

Anyhow, during the long, bloody conflict (Most of the blood is attributed to splinters, as kerbals consider fighting with sharp objects to be dishonorable, inhumane, and incredibly wasteful of sharp objects that could be better used in ridiculous accidents), the order of the world was changed. Rules were different, and territories were altered. Even the long-held kerbal tradition of not-killing-the-enemy was broken, albeit briefly and accidentally when Georgoff Kerman, in a particular feat of stupidity (even for him) managed to knock down a building with exactly one enemy in it (a fact completely unknown to Georgoff), thus medically "killing" said enemy for nearly an hour! This was a time of outrage, where male kerbs were male kerbs and female kerbs were female kerbs and small, furry creatures were small, furry creatures.

Eventually, the war ended when Yaltika officially split in two, leaving everyone to wonder why they didn't try doing that before engaging in a violent struggle for dominance. Of course, there were still reparations to be paid.

Abvo-I'm-not-typing-this-again-istan forever lost its status as a world power, with the certificate being given to Cerima having been hastily modified using a box of crayons. By ancient tradition, this made Cerima one of the five world powers of kerbin, along with Kelpogart, Ussari, Gratniena, and the Grand Empire of the Mun, a nation which never had and never would exist (it was predictably designated as a World Power by the Ronam emperor Jeff the Generally Weird and Ineffective). This status meant that it would be treated as "powerful", "dangerous", and "wealthy" regardless of whether they were actually any of those.

Gerin was split into Gerin and Gerinia, primarily just because the winners though that it was getting too big and they didn't want to waste a split-power.

Dachland was made to pay 4000 snacks to the winners. This nearly destroyed the Dachlandish economy, as they had forgotten that snacks grew on trees. Unbeknownst to the winners, this would ultimately cause the Second Kerbin War (DUN DUN DUN).

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So, I've been working on updating the Duna Interplanetary to the new version of DSEV, as well as making an improved DEM that can SSTO on duna and land on Ike. Of course I've also been working on the PIke, which is an unmanned lander designed to mine Ike, the Duna ScanPack, and a couple of Eve designs including the Aeneas SSTO spaceplane. Yes, SSTO on Eve. Electric propellers are awesome in every way.

Anyway, we should be returning to our regularly scheduled programming on Saturday, shortly after I wrap up the historical interludes with two or three updates later this week.

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So, I feel very, very ashamed. I missed the opportunity to update on May the Fourth.

‮Also, I figured out how to enter unicode characters on the forum. Yay! This is honestly really confusing.

Anyways, here's an infolude, for those of you that will read it.

Infolude: The Second Kerbin War:

Eventually, some nations, especially Dachland, grew discontent with the results of the First Kerbin War and demanded a rematch, which, by the ancient kerbal honor codes could not be refused. However, this new war would be quite different from the old one, thanks to several new innovations, including tanks, non-exploding planes, and most importantly, the rapid-fire potato gun. This revolutionized warfare, even more than all the previous warfare-revolutionizing inventions, as it allowed kerbals to actually knock other kerbals off of the wall.

This war was also even bloodier than the last one, due to the advent of military intelligence. This meant that the various militaries would be actually taking notes on each other, as opposed to the previous strategy of just trying really hard to remember. Logically, this led to a massive increase in the number of papercuts.

The war went pretty much like the last one, with Dachland losing and other people winning, but it also left Ussari and Kelpogart in a state of tension. And there were two more things that were different: The Dachland Space Program and the Hanmattan project.

The Dachland Space Program was Dachland's attempt to gain an advantage by going to space, where they could drop down onto their enemies and take all the snacks. As you can tell, they probably should've hired better physicists. Their rockets did, in fact, work, but they generally just ended up sending them the wrong way, and almost all the rockets ended up crashing into the ocean or into other countries. This was very disappointing, since if they had wanted to destroy their enemies they wouldn't bother launching the rockets all the way into space first.

The Hanmattan project, named for the city of Hanmattan in Kelpogart, developed the first nuclear reactors and something that scientists called a "nuclear firework". These proved to be quite fantastic for celebrations, assuming you could find a giant desert to launch them in. This, along with the later invention of refrigerators, was the main reason for the Ussari-Kelpogart tension.

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And we are back! With a particularly image-intensive chapter, I might add. Minmus is quite beautiful this time of year.

Chapter 10: Casting Off:

While their time on Minmus had been fun, the crew knew that they had to return to Kerbin sooner or later. They elected for the former

O75FJpt.png

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With Valentina at the helm... er...

fMWaBm3.png

Computery thing that had not been there when they landed, they ascended swiftly.

lexytV0.png?1cPxARC1.png?1

ZtVMJ3i.png

4d5boL8.png

K4DLmA0.png

tkaxc89.png

Minmus was as beautiful as always.

Unfortunately, after Bob had finished touching up the photos, he put them back in the wrong order! Those precisely sequenced photos of a Minmus sunset were now out of order.

Jeb was writing a song

"Far above the world, at the edge of the stars..."

That sounds right, now on to the next line.

Valentina, of course, had figured out a way to reach through the third barrier and remove the physical appearance of the ship's exterior.

Fm0qIHm.png

She received a hard extradimensional slap to the face.

Bill was playing Human Space Program. This requires no more explanation.

Bob, in keeping with his newly developed passion for photography, is now denying me access to the remainder of the photos because he isn't finished touching them up.

Bob, come ON!! The photos are digital! It's not like I'm trying to take the only copy.

What do you mean, "matter of pride"? THEY'RE PHOTOS OF SPACE THAT YOU TOOK!!! WHY DOES YOUR PRIDE REQUIRE THEM TO ALSO BE PERFECT!!?

Fine, I guess I just won't finish the chapter until later. Are you happy now, Bob? I just broke the fourth wall to move this along, and nooo, you just couldn't give me the FLARPING photographs.

Oh great, I just made it doubly meta. Oh carp... I'm stuck in a loop. I'm just going to post this and hope the loop goes away before I start thinking too hard.

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