Kerbal Term Paper: NERVA

[livefree75]

I didn't really know what to make for the Fan Works section for a long time, until:

7 hours ago, cubinator said:

I'd like to read a technical paper written by a Kerbal.

I got right to work, and came up with an intern's idea about a NERVA. (Hopefully it's not annoying to read; Kerbals are not exactly known for their grammar.)

Spoiler

 

On the concept of nuclear-powered roket rockets

By Oppenheimer Kerman

We should make an atomic rocket. During my lots of hours in teh the lab, lots of engineers and the guys who run around shouting “SCIENCE!” tried to send Kerbals to planets using Boom Sauce™ packed in a big tube. Apparently it didn’t work cuz they couldn’t be turned off.

 

Then they tried ripping apart water and putting it in metal tubes that should NOT be popped. (Trust me on that.) That worked a little better, but they couldn’t fit enough onto the ships they wanted to go to the other planets. And Jeb over there is whining about how he can’t go to Duna right now...ugh…

 

BUT I can fix it!! BEHOLD the NERVA (Nervous Engineers Riding Vehicles Awareness):

It actually SPLITS the TINY PARTICLZ PARTICLES and makes rockets go farther!!! It’s not faster but Jeb can’t have all the fun. Isn’t it AWESOME!!! And this way the scientists and engineers won’t run around saying stuff like “blah blah safety blah blah blah more boosters” anymore. Please let me show this to R&D and build it! Now we can go EVERYWHERE and do more SCIENCE!!!!

 

[cubinator]

Amazing! We need Kerbal versions of all technical terms, like "Boom Sauce™"!

[septemberWaves]

Of course, they first have to refine the Boom Sauce^TM into a form that doesn't leak out of the bottom of the SRB (Solid Rod of Boom) and cause rapid unplanned disassembly of the floor of the lab (this is undoubtedly a recurring issue).

[HalcyonSon]

You sir (or madam) deserve likes... unfortunately, the crazy screengrab thread stole all of them.