The Foods of Kerbin

[Selrahc4040]

I\'ve recently been thinking, what do Kerbals eat when they\'re waiting to meet up with Minmus? With that, I present to you my incredibly short list of foods which I hope you guys will extend upon.

Solid Sustenance

Kerbals and Bits: A slang-name, meant purely as a jibe. As for the actual composition, Kerbals and Bits is a spaghetti-like food, using green-tinged meat and rye noodles. (To emulate the hair and skin of Kerbals.)

Minmus Mint Icecream: Minmus Mint Icecream is exactly what it says on the package; mint icecream! The only oddity of Minmus Mint Icecream is the chunks of green mint thrown in to give it a texture akin to Minmus\'s.

Space Ration Bars: The basic food ration for kerbalnauts on deep-space mission. Space Ration Bars are a hearty mixture of Pinto and Black Beans, wrapped in a crust of reconstituted freeze-dried bread. Unfortunately, due to the gastronomic effects the beans have on the consumer, the consumer tends to resemble the food\'s acronymic namesake.

Kerb-O Space Beans: Yet another bowel-churning creation of Chef Kerman\'s, Kerb-O Space Beans are a nutritious mix of kidney, pinto, black, and red beans pressed, freeze-dried and enveloped in a foil wrapper.

Liquid Sustenance

The Typical Rocket: A play-on-words of the drink 'The Irish Car-Bomb'. The Typical Rocket is a potent mixture of Jager and Tang, a drink served at the Speak-Easy of Kerbal Space Command during shore leave.

Chef Kerman\'s Filtered Water: Since the Speak-Easy of Kerbal Space Command is on the coast, Chef Kerman needed to find a way to get drinkable water withough running a pipe the several kilometers to the nearest lake. And I must say, he solved the problem briliantly. Chef Kerman discovered that Kerbals have a natural resitance to salt, so the only thing making seawater inedible was rocket debris. He developed the world\'s first sieve and used it to strain the seawater, which he know sells at the Speak-Easy.

Pangalactic Gargle-Blaster: For those kerbalnauts with stronger stomachs and fatter wallets, there\'s the Pangalactic Gargle-Blaster. The Pangalactic Gargle-Blaster is a wild drink consisting of Galliano, Gold-Leaf Vodka, Tequila, Creme de Menthe Liquer, Light Rum, Gin, and a lemon slice perched on the rim of the glass. Many a pilot has crashed after too many of these powerful drinks, so be wary.

I hope you all enjoy and submit your own ideas!

[Accelerando]

Space Ration Bars, white on the outside with a filling of black-brown beans that help hungry astronauts enact a spitting image of the food\'s namesake acronym.

[LaydeeDem]

I did tell my Kerbals to eat the mint icecream on Minmus after a botched landing. Turns out it wasn\'t ice cream. =P

Also, Kerb-O Space Beans anyone?

[Selrahc4040]

Accelerando: If you can tell me what the white covering is, I\'d be happy to add SRB\'s in.

[Accelerando]

Accelerando: If you can tell me what the white covering is, I\'d be happy to add SRB\'s in.

Tortilla.

Alternatively, reconstituted freeze-dried bread.

[Selrahc4040]

Reconstituted freeze-dried bread sounds more space program-esque.

[aphazael]

Jager and Tang

*shudder*

[Selrahc4040]

If you\'d rather not have the Kerbals drink Typical Rockets, submit your own drink! All of the KSP\'s funding goes into rockets, the kerbalnauts are kinda on their own for food and drink.

[Phoenix Aerospace]

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. I rest my case.

…Yes, this is a thing. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/pangalactic-gargleblaster/.

[Selrahc4040]

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. I rest my case.

…Yes, this is a thing. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/pangalactic-gargleblaster/.

My God! Adding now, using the name from the link.

[Alchemist]

Lone Flat Envelope (usually made of old pancaces or overcooked pizza). Don\'t forget to add jam from Little Floating Tube.

Warning! Hot! Contains spices 100 times stronger than Chili pepper.

[aphazael]

My God! Adding now, using the name from the link.

If you\'re going to use the pan-galactic gargleblaster, you should really use the original recipe from the book (The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy, if you didn\'t know). See here: http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Pan_Galactic_Gargle_Blaster

[Selrahc4040]

My Kindle can\'t open that link, can you just list the recipe here?

[Phoenix Aerospace]

Original recipe.

Take the juice from one bottle of Ol\' Janx Spirit.

Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh, that Santraginean seawater! Oh, those Santraginean fish!

Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).

Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.

Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.

Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Sprinkle Zamphuor.

Add an olive.

Drink... but... very carefully...

[Whptheenah]

Randominator:

Randominator is a new food that looks a bit like a sandwich, on it\'s side, without bread. The ingredients can vary, but at least 3 must be inedible/corrosive/flammable/toxic.

Each ingredient is sliced, mushed, diced, mushed, and smudished; before being deposited in layers. It is always topped with mustard/uranium/dirt.

Naming the Randominator:

If the order of the foods is Cleavle, Iron (inedible), Beef, Lead (toxic), Cheese, Onions, Mustard, Fuel (flammable) ; the first letter (or chemical symbol) is taken. So the name would be... CFeBPbCOMCnH2n.

Pics to come...

[LaydeeDem]

Kerb-O Space Beans

A ration of beans in a fancy wrapped can!

[Selrahc4040]

Er... Should have included the clause 'food must be edible and non-lethal' in my original post... And why do people like beans so much? As for the Pangalactic Gargle-Blasters, most, if not all, of those ingredients are probably unavailable to Chef Kerman.

[Whptheenah]

Finally made a (disturbing) comic of how to make Randominator

Sorry if my drawing gives you nightmares =P

[leopardenthusiast]

Chef Kerman\'s Filtered Water

It\'s seawater that\'s been run through a sieve.

[Selrahc4040]

*Sees comic* *Barfs* I appreciate the thought put into the Randominator, but I can\'t imagine even Kerbals being able to stomach smudished uranium. So, thank you, and if you put up a topic for it I\'d be happy to put up the link under an 'Alternative Foodstuffs' section, but I don\'t think I should add it to the list. Sorry man, no hard feelings?

[leopardenthusiast]

haha, I love how you explained Chef Kerman's Filtered Water.

[LaydeeDem]

In JPL tradition I think peanuts need to be added to the list.

[jokrage]

I always thought they ate space sandwiches and stale water.

[Flixxbeatz]

and of course there's Delta-V flavored cookies. Delta-Vanilla

[MmPMSFmM]

... Triangular shaped vanilla cookies?