[Writing] Where the hell has this thing been?

[leopardenthusiast]

Approximately 2 weeks ago, the Kerbal Space Agency released this event log to the public. Oddly enough, it was of a KSA flight to Minmus, apparently 15 years before the first recorded kerbal space flight, as well as before the invention of the black box it was found on. Here is the log, do with it what you want. I have added notes on any inconsistencies.

[-00h 00m 50s] Thorite 5 has arrived on launch pad. (the Thorite 4 is the only Thorite rocket ever created, and it exploded on the launch pad! the entire thorite series was discontinued! also, the number is the number of stages, not the version or then number of first stage engines.)

[-00h 00m 56s] Pre-flight checks completed, XKal45 spaceplane ready on runway. (now it's 6 seconds earlier and it's a spaceplane?)

[99h 99m 99s] Engine nozzle destroyed, continuing with assignment. (now the timestamp is defying the numeric system it uses? and why would an assignment be continued after the destruction of an engine?)

[-00h 00m 10s] Countdown to launch initiated.

[00h 00m 01s] Launch confirmed. Ejecting uppenmost parachute. (...uppenmost? an ejected parachute? what?)

[01h 01m 01s] Ejection of first stage confirmed. Igniting third stage. (no second stage? and if the Thorite 5 is anything like the 4, it should eject solid rocket boosters before the first stage...)

[00h 30m 00s] Ejection of boosters confirmed. Total death toll of launch 300. (why the sudden jump back in time? and 300 seems like an awfully low death count, normally there's more than that just from journalists trying to get the closest image of the launch...)

[02h 00m 02s] Ejection of second stage confirmed. Periapsis currently at 80,000 KM. (isn't that well beyond escape velocity?)

[5w 3d 19h 12m 20s] Ejection of third stage confirmed. Periapsis currently at -5 GM. (Gigameters? -5 GM shouldn't collide with anything, so it shouldn't be a negative number... also, why is it FIVE AND A HALF WEEKS in to the mission? and where the hell is the apoapsis?]

[1d] Munar landing. (where's the rest of the timestamp? and why does it just say 'Munar landing'? This is supposed to be a flight to Minmus!)

[0h0m0s]Minmuslanding. (no spaces? only single digits? exactly the moment of the first stage's ignition? what the hell is going on?)

[ 0 ] (...what?)

[ 0 ]

[ 0 ]

541235mintakeoffconf (okay, this looks to be 54 hours 12 minutes 35 seconds in, and they've taken off from Minmus.)

[99h 99m 99s] Commander [unusual marks] reports unusual activity from the black box. (broken timestamp. how very odd. and the name appears to be random lines.)

[ 0 ] CMD[unusual marks]REPANOMALYBOX (so the timestamp is the weird single digit, like 2 events earlier, but the event resembles black box code... hmm. seems to be the same as the last one. but isn't the code for black box usually blbox? and why is it fully capitalized?)

[ 5 ] PIL[horizontal line]REPANOMALYCMD[unusual marks] (wait, isn't the code 'anomaly' usually limited to technology? the code for a crew member acting unusually is usually betray... and the code for pilot is pilot.)

[letmetellyouastorysomeonewashereonceTHENtheyKILLEDTHEMRUNAWAYFAST] (...okay, that's not a timestamp. why isn't 'they' capitalized?)

[getinyourcanandleaveTHEYaloneBEFOREthey[unusual marks, same as the commander's 'name']andidontwantthattohappentoyou] (So apparently 'they' is capitalized differently to the surrounding words. huh.)

[whyareyoupryingTHEYoffthecandontpryTHEYoffthecanifitgoestotherockyourwilldie] (...prying 'they' off the can? the timestamp things seem to be referring to the command module as 'the can', and the only thing that ever gets pried off a command module is a black box... 'they' is the black box? what happened to the malfunctioning one on top of the one containing the crew?)

[donttakeTHEYbacktotherockifyoudoyourwilldie] ('if you do your will die'? what?)

[wellgoodbyefleshythingsyourwilldie] (fleshy things? kerbals are hardly fleshy...)

[ajgkaashu] Navigator [horrifyingly deformed face] confirmed acquisition of black box attatched to mysterious command module.

[566569h54654546h545445m545454m545454s545454s] Pilot [horizontal line] reports unusual activity from commander. Commander [unusual marks] has beaten navigator to death and is now eating him. (WHAT?! Why the hell didn't the pilot engage the self destruct?)

5554854666545465646548546654654565645465645656PIL[horizontal line]REPBETRAYCMD[unusual marks]

Flight log ends. The KSA claims that the black box containing this just appeared in someone's office one day. It disappeared after they got this flight log off it, when nobody was looking at it. So why have other kerbals reported finding it and then mysteriously disappeared? And WHY THE HELL IS IT ON MY DESK?

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So yeah, I just wrote that for no reason. Now that I've actually read it, I can confirm that it's terrible. I have no idea why I made that, and I promise not to harm your eyes with anything like it again. Feel free to tell me how terrible this is, because it's terrible and that's terrible. Did I mention that I hate this and it's terrible?

Edited August 8, 2012 by leopardenthusiast
fixed all the broken stuff I noticed

[highway1027]

I liked it..

Especially the idea, a black box that has an encounter with an alien race who bring him back..

Did I understand it right?

I\'m gonna reenact this in game..

Anyone have a EVA cannibal addon?

[MrPwner]

Sounds very SCP Foundation-y ^^

[leopardenthusiast]

Sounds very SCP Foundation-y ^^

That was the idea, I love the SCP Foundation.

[ElJugador]

I want to do something like this now, with my RP country (Choctico)

[Ranged23]

That was the idea, I love the SCP Foundation.

oh god, the SCP's, they give me creeps.

[Asmosdeus]

Meh, I liked it. I'll admit if gave me the chills at some point.

[Avatar98]

One word : freaking awesome! Oh wait, that's two words...

[AlternNocturn]

Yep, it was bound to happen. A KSP creepypasta.

I liked it. Normally I don't like cliche'd and cheesy creepypasta but I enjoyed this.