Help with Relationships Thread

[RoadRunnerAerospace]

3 minutes ago, munlander1 said:

I haven't had a crush in 3 years...

and now she moved away...

Man, that sucks 

 

Edited December 1, 2017 by RoadRunnerAerospace

[harrisjosh2711]

On ‎11‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 3:52 PM, NSEP said:

The girl i like is kinda shy. Making contact 200 quintillion times harder. We text each other every now and then, but that is not exactly what im craving for. I prefer to listen to her wonderfull high girly voice and stare at her adorable pearly eyes make contact with sound waves, and not with invisible waves of light from kilometers of distance.

Its not that me and my crush are really separated, but its because i am terrible at it this stupid game called Real Life, even though i play on easy mode.

Lol, if there is one things girls love to talk about it is themselves. If you can ever get them on the subject you will be lucky if they ever shut-up.

In all likely hood, u guys are both so shy around each other because you both like each other and you both know it but nether on of you has built up the confidence to act on it. Try setting up a little gathering between people you both know and invite her along. Make sure it is you who ask her to come though. If she says she has something planned try again some other time. 

Is it bad that I feel like this subject probably belongs here in this forum? I can, shamefully, say I have put my life on hold because this game. Is it bad I might not recommend this game because its so addicting it just might ruin ur life.

 

[NSEP]

8 hours ago, harrisjosh2711 said:

Is it bad that I feel like this subject probably belongs here in this forum? I can, shamefully, say I have put my life on hold because this game. Is it bad I might not recommend this game because its so addicting it just might ruin ur life.

Every good game can cause addiction. But even though i love KSP, im not really addicted neither is it threatening my life, it really depends on your personality and daily life.

8 hours ago, harrisjosh2711 said:

Lol, if there is one things girls love to talk about it is themselves. If you can ever get them on the subject you will be lucky if they ever shut-up.

Is that a bad thing? Id love to know more about her!

[PakledHostage]

On 29/11/2017 at 12:52 PM, NSEP said:

The girl i like is kinda shy. Making contact 200 quintillion times harder. We text each other every now and then, but that is not exactly what im craving for. I prefer to listen to her wonderfull high girly voice and stare at her adorable pearly eyes make contact with sound waves, and not with invisible waves of light from kilometers of distance.

A lot of us older members of this forum have been in your shoes and, looking back from twenty years on, wish we had followed advice like harrisjosh's... Just try it. It isn't rocket science. Chances are pretty good that you'll have a fun evening.

 

9 hours ago, harrisjosh2711 said:

In all likely hood, u guys are both so shy around each other because you both like each other and you both know it but nether on of you has built up the confidence to act on it. Try setting up a little gathering between people you both know and invite her along. Make sure it is you who ask her to come though. If she says she has something planned try again some other time. 

 

 

[Piatzin]

On 12/1/2017 at 5:57 AM, harrisjosh2711 said:

In all likely hood, u guys are both so shy around each other because you both like each other and you both know it but nether on of you has built up the confidence to act on it

The first (and only) relationship I've ever been in actually started off kinda fast. The two of us had been friends for about two years. I knew her (still do) pretty well, so I kinda just....guessed her feelings, and since I felt the same way, I risked asking her over email if there was anyone she liked in the class. The next day we talked about it and.....

Yeah...

In grade 7, aged 12, and suddenly in a relationship. But after that, nothing much happened. It wasn't a serious relationship in the physical sense (because, age and all...), but we were really close friends and everything. We broke up two years later, some time after I turned 14 and had to move to a different country. During those two years, not a single thing happened other than a few throwaway mentions and the occasional conversation regarding our affections.

Shyness on her part, and lack of confidence on mine. We never even held hands.

But we're still friends, and we talk/email each other every day. (She's still one of my best friends, and she's mentioned that the feeling is mutual, even two years after not seeing each other).

I can't tell you much about starting relationships, but if you're ending them...

One thing: Don't make it hard. I've had friends who are in relationships where they and their partner were great friends, but then when they split, they never talk again. Ever.

If you're moving country, or if you just don't think you're okay with each other, and the split is 'friendly,' then stay friends. Unless you broke up on bad terms, you shouldn't ever push the other person away, or ignore them out of embarrassment or for fear of making life awkward.

I could have shut out my ex (if you can call her that) after moving country. We could have decided to forget each other for fear of nostalgia or sadness or awkwardness or whatever.

But we didn't, and now I have what is likely to be a life-long friendship.

Edited December 5, 2017 by Earthlinger

[harrisjosh2711]

8 hours ago, NSEP said:

Every good game can cause addiction. But even though i love KSP, im not really addicted neither is it threatening my life, it really depends on your personality and daily life.

Is that a bad thing? Id love to know more about her!

No It isn't, It was a bad attempt at being funny. The serious part was the second part- It is true though, most girls love to talk about themselves and their problems. Fishy ground though because you have to be careful not to fall into strictly the friend zone.

The best advice I can give is to live life with no regrets. If you think twenty years from now you might look back and regret not telling this girl your feelings, then you owe it to yourself to tell her so that you don't have to look back and regret that. Remember, the worst thing that can happen is twenty years from now you look back and wonder what could have been. A simple no from the girl pales in comparison. In hindsight, I doesn't exactly matter if you made it to the mun, what's important is at the end of the day you tried your best to get there. Don't live worrying about your destination, live for the journey!  It may take a few trial runs, but if you give it your all you will eventually make it.

With that said(I'm not sure how close you guys are), do not just open and tell this girl you love her or something like that. That would most likely freak her out. Start out small. Maybe one day if she wears her hair the way you like it compliment her on it. Let her know, in a subtle manner, that you think about her when she isn't around.

This is the best advice I can give, good luck!

Edited December 1, 2017 by harrisjosh2711

[harrisjosh2711]

1 hour ago, Earthlinger said:

The first (and only) relationship I've ever been in actually started off kinda fast. The two of us had been friends for about two years. I knew her (still do) pretty well, so I kinda just....guessed her feelings, and since I felt the same way, I risked asking her over email if there was anyone she liked in the class. The next day we talked about it and.....

Yeah...

In grade 7, aged 12, and suddenly in a relationship. But after that, nothing much happened. It wasn't a serious relationship in the physical sense (because, age and all...), but we were really close friends and everything. We broke up two years later, some time after I turned 14 and had to move to a different country. During those two years, not a single thing happened other than a few throwaway mentions and the occasional conversation regarding our affections.

Shyness on her part, and lack of confidence of mine. We never even held hands.

But we're still friends, and we talk/email each other every day. (She's still one of my best friends, and she's mentioned that the feeling is mutual, even two years after not seeing each other).

I can't tell you much about starting relationships, but if you're ending them...

One thing: Don't make it hard. I've had friends who are in relationships where they and their partner were great friends, but then when they split, they never talk again. Ever.

If you're moving country, or if you just don't think you're okay with each other, and the split is 'friendly,' then stay friends. Unless you broke up on bad terms, you shouldn't ever push the other person away, or ignore them out of embarrassment or for fear of making life awkward.

I could have shut out my ex (if you can call her that) after moving country. We could have decided to forget each other for fear of nostalgia or sadness or awkwardness or whatever.

But we didn't, and now I have what is likely to be a life-long friendship.

Good for you. None of my exes are my friends but none are my enemy. I always say don't burn your bridges.

It sounds to me like this friendship may be un-healthy for you though (I hope I'm wrong). I say that because I'm worried you are still holding onto the past. Maybe it is time to let that relationship go (not completely) and start seeking more concrete affection. Don't take this as fact, because its a small world and you two could always come back together. But don't expect that to happen, you will probably be let down. And trust me, if somehow life crosses ur paths again, it will be 10x as special. Just be sure you are living in the present and not the past.

 

[NSEP]

Thanks for the advice @harrisjosh2711! I'll see what i can do next week. I already asked her to have a small conversation, no response yet (im currently communicating with her via text message).

[Piatzin]

1 minute ago, harrisjosh2711 said:

It sounds to me like this friendship may be un-healthy for you though (I hope I'm wrong). I say that because I'm worried you are still holding onto the past. Maybe it is time to let that relationship go (not completely) and start seeking more concrete affection. Don't take this as fact, because its a small world and you two could always come back together. But don't expect that to happen, you will probably be let down. And trust me, if somehow life crosses ur paths again, it will be 10x as special. Just be sure you are living in the present and not the past.

Yeah no, I'm not dwelling on the past at all

I do get nostalgic sometimes, but mainly because of our friendship, not because of the relationship.

But thanks

[harrisjosh2711]

1 minute ago, NSEP said:

Thanks for the advice @harrisjosh2711! I'll see what i can do next week. I already asked her to have a small conversation, no response yet (im currently communicating with her via text message).

In that case I'm going to give you a little more advice. In this first conversation consider whether you should tell her you like her not. Perhaps the best path would be to make her think you are going to tell her you like her and then talk to her about something completely different. This will send her head careening in all sorts of different directions. I cant tell you why, but girls are wired differently than guys, games like this turn them on for some reason. The important thing is to be yourself, if she likes you, remember she likes you for who you are. Don't let a huge confidence boost change that.

[qzgy]

7 hours ago, harrisjosh2711 said:

In that case I'm going to give you a little more advice. In this first conversation consider whether you should tell her you like her not. Perhaps the best path would be to make her think you are going to tell her you like her and then talk to her about something completely different. This will send her head careening in all sorts of different directions. I cant tell you why, but girls are wired differently than guys, games like this turn them on for some reason. The important thing is to be yourself, if she likes you, remember she likes you for who you are. Don't let a huge confidence boost change that.

hmmm I wonder if we should get a member of the female species to verify this. I am not one.

Not saying your advice is necessarily bad, but I'm a bit skeptical.

[harrisjosh2711]

33 minutes ago, qzgy said:

hmmm I wonder if we should get a member of the female species to verify this. I am not one.

Not saying your advice is necessarily bad, but I'm a bit skeptical.

Lol, go ahead.... Ask a few. That's actually common psychology, just sayin. You want what you cant have. When you expect something and you don't get it you want it more. I specifically point out girls in this situation because men do not tend to need romance. For us its like lets make babies. We like to get to the point lol. It doesn't work like that with females. They want to be courted. Ex. A girl can walk up to a guy and just kiss him, it will work 9/10. guy walks up and kisses girl he gets slapped 10/10 times.

Oh. some girls are like guys, but you may wish to consider strongly if you want to take this girl home to meet mama. I'm not sure of the statistic of extramarital affairs but I know where I live in America it is extremely high.  

Edited December 2, 2017 by harrisjosh2711

[RoadRunnerAerospace]

Well, i like this girl, shes a space.... Person? I dont know the level of geekness. Anyways, i dont know how to really approach people in this manner (or any for that matter), but i do know is that i want to keep it friendly for a while, get to know her, etc.

 

Any ideas?

[Mr. Peabody]

The only relationships that I have is with my computer, textbook, and library and I prefer it this way. I generally avoid social anything. 

[Spacetraindriver]

28 minutes ago, The Dunatian said:

The only relationships that I have is with my computer, textbook, and library and I prefer it this way. I generally avoid social anything. 

I was like that once. Then stupid hormones and puberty made by crush on a girl every other week. Thankfully it seems to have scaled back to just one crush. Oh the good old times. I remember the countless lunches of surfing Wikipedia. Now I do weird things like socialize with a friend/crush thats also a friend.  

[NSEP]

3 hours ago, The Dunatian said:

The only relationships that I have is with my computer, textbook, and library and I prefer it this way. I generally avoid social anything. 

Thats untill these bois kick in:

I once felt the same as you but then these guys said otherwise.

[WinkAllKerb'']

20 hours ago, PakledHostage said:

A lot of us older members of this forum have been in your shoes and, looking back from twenty years on, wish we had followed advice like harrisjosh's... Just try it. It isn't rocket science. Chances are pretty good that you'll have a fun evening.

 

 

"the bene geserit witch must leave" ... or live or leeves .... any ways .... wich  witch wish swtich a twitch ... ... well this guild navigator floating in spice look lick a duck ? or is it just me ? oh you david lynch 84 .... so inspired clap clap clap ...

still i remain more interested in the books after the 2 first one's and there metaphorical thing related to the in date of writing socio-psycho-geopolitcal context and censorship ... back in the days ...

what this writer even speak about behind all the metaphores , caracters, socio group, stories of each ... reverse engeenering and QA engaged ... kinda ... keep mysticism away and stay rationnal ...

in the same spirit ... aldous huxley ... wow this guy is pretty good at summing up some socio specifics part of the karma sutra and karma darma and karma (the third one) in a 100 pages novels ....

Edited December 2, 2017 by WinkAllKerb''
like leak lick out for 2 day so the quote

[NSEP]

I originally wanted to just talk to her but now i also have to prove i can in fact design a nuclear bomb (yes, i can do that, although its very crude and extremely simple, so it's impossible for me to actually make and test them, especially without acces to Uranium, Tungsten and Explosives. Just in case you got a little worried there).

[Bill Phil]

1 hour ago, NSEP said:

I originally wanted to just talk to her but now i also have to prove i can in fact design a nuclear bomb (yes, i can do that, although its very crude and extremely simple, so it's impossible for me to actually make and test them, especially without acces to Uranium, Tungsten and Explosives. Just in case you got a little worried there).

That...

escalated quickly.

Also, you'd probably just get a dirty bomb.

[munlander1]

1 hour ago, NSEP said:

now i also have to prove i can in fact design a nuclear bomb (yes, i can do that

Concern

[RoadRunnerAerospace]

2 hours ago, NSEP said:

I originally wanted to just talk to her but now i also have to prove i can in fact design a nuclear bomb (yes, i can do that, although its very crude and extremely simple, so it's impossible for me to actually make and test them, especially without acces to Uranium, Tungsten and Explosives. Just in case you got a little worried there).

Theres a few friendly guys from the cia that want to talk....

[qzgy]

2 hours ago, NSEP said:

now i also have to prove i can in fact design a nuclear bomb

Off topic but I just wanna say somethings about this - Are you having it plutonium or uranium based? If uranium, I think if you have a high enough critical mass of very pure U-235, you can basically have one chunk slam into another chunk - not many other fancy physics required. Plutonium - pretty much all of them are implosion based. High explosives are used to push a plutonium sphere into a critical mass (the point where a runaway nuclear reaction occurs - for plutonium they did this by having a super high density at the time of explosion). Has to be VERY precise though. If it isn't, no boom. Don't understand why you need tungsten though...

Yes, I know you can just google this but I just wanted to say that here. Also... Why?? Are you trying to prove something to said person? or is it unrelated?

[RoadRunnerAerospace]

Ooook! Ill ask again!

I like this girl, i can tell the fact that shes a space nerd due to that ive seen hee wear NASA shirts, spaceshuttle shirts, etc. 

How should i approach her?

[Piatzin]

6 hours ago, NSEP said:

I originally wanted to just talk to her but now i also have to prove i can in fact design a nuclear bomb (yes, i can do that, although its very crude and extremely simple, so it's impossible for me to actually make and test them, especially without acces to Uranium, Tungsten and Explosives. Just in case you got a little worried there).

Your intellectual prowess intrigues me

On ‎2017‎-‎12‎-‎02 at 8:13 AM, Spacetraindriver said:

I was like that once. Then stupid hormones and puberty made by crush on a girl every other week.

Oh.. I think I may be immune, actually...

3 hours ago, RoadRunnerAerospace said:

How should i approach her?

If you're sure she's a space nerd, then make sure she knows you're a space nerd.

[Bill Phil]

4 hours ago, RoadRunnerAerospace said:

Ooook! Ill ask again!

I like this girl, i can tell the fact that shes a space nerd due to that ive seen hee wear NASA shirts, spaceshuttle shirts, etc. 

How should i approach her?

She may just have family members who work for NASA, and thus a supply of the shirts. Or she's a space nerd. Or both. Hope for the latter.

Wear space-related shirts, too, I guess. It would help communicate that you like space.

The actual approaching part? I'm not very knowledgeable...