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[AAR] The Grand Tour - Voyage To The Planets

czokletmuss

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czokletmuss

czokletmuss

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Potentially-off-topic: The thread's been unstickied? THE THREAD'S BEEN UNSTICKIED!!

The days of the old glory are over. The reign of despair begins. In the grim darkness of the KSP Fan Works forum, there is only second page...

Nah, it's probably because 1) This was a Thread of the Month - last month and 2) I didn't post new chapter in the last 8 days :(

Well, it's a pity but I didn't take stickiness (?) as granted, so that's not a big deal. We survived April, we will survive September! ;)

Somewhat-more-on-topic-: I'm looking for ward to the next chapter, but I, like the others, am perfectly happy to wait :)

Actually I'm almost done with my work in real life for a couple of days, so I would love to post new chapter in the next few days. You know how it is. Anyways, I want to finish this story and I will finish this story - that is, by writing the second half of it :)

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czokletmuss

czokletmuss

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CHAPTER 25

FOLLOWING ORDERS

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***

JEB: Okay, let's put it all together one more time.

NED: Again?

JEB: We've got to come up with something, Ned. Come on folks, think.

SID: :sigh:

JOHNDON: Should we s-start from the b-beginning, sir?

JEB: I guess so. We…

NED: Rozer tased you and then ordered BERTY to lock us here in the hab module B. Since doctor Cambo left nobody has entered and nobody has left this module. We're stuck in here for more then, err...

SID: 14 hours.

NED: Thank you – for more then 14 hours. In the meantime Kod only knows what's going on outside this module. BERTY doesn't respond to our commands and Rozer is in complete control of the ship and the mission. We all know that, Jeb, why we need to go through this?

JEB: There must be something we missed. There's always something.

NED: Like what?

JEB: I don't know. Yet.

NED: :sigh:

JOHNDON: It c-could've b-been worse, you know. Ahem.

NED: Like what?

JOHNDON: Err, w-we are in the hab m-module? We have food and w-water and…

SID: It is worse, actually.

JEB: How come?

SID: Well, one of the BERTY's highest priorities is to take care of the crew. This means that he can't just let us dehydrate or starve. Unfortunately, this is a habitat module – all we really need from the ship itself is electricity. We can stay here safely for weeks, unless something extraordinary happens, like solar proton event or some malfunction.

JEB: You know what Sid, I think I prefer to be hold captive here with plenty of supplies than anywhere else. I wouldn't count on BERTY helping us either way.

NED: I'm telling you, this bastard must've hacked him. BERTY would never let this to happen.

SID: Unless Rozer really have the authority from KSC.

NED: Yeah, because he's the most stable and responsible guy here, right? :sigh: Damn it all…

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JEB: How's Bill holding up?

SID: I'm not a doctor, Jeb. Last time I checked he was still in deep catatonia, induced in a response to a severe stress I guess.

NED: He's lucky to be in stupor.

SID: Ned, please.

NED: What? Don't you remember what Rozer said to him? He knows something about all this, something he was hiding for all these months. When he wake up he better start singing.

SID: And what are you going to do if he won't? Beat him?

NED: Are you serious? We're locked in here by some sociopath who somehow took over and in case you forgot, we're in space billions of kilometers from home. It's not like we can call a cop or whatever, so please spare me this

JEB: Guys, I think we shouldn't forget that this is not exac…

BERTY v.2.0.8b: REBOOTING COMPLETED. INITIATING FACIAL EXPRESSION SUBSYSTEM CHECK.

JOHNDON: D-did you hear it?!

NED: Yes! I bet he deleted Rozer's virus or whatever it is. BERTY's back!

SID: What virus? You don't know whether Rozer even tr…

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Hello. I apologize that rebooting took so long. How can I help you?

NED: You have no idea how happy I'm to see you, buddy. Could you…

JEB: Let me handle this, Ned. Hi BERTY. Are you okay?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes, captain. While installing latest update there was an unexpected system crash. I handled this issue and I'm happy to say that I'm once again operating with full efficiency. Moreover, my ability to interact with the crew is now enhanced by the facial expression subsystem.

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SID: Oh. You can use every screen for this?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Affirmative.

JEB: That's great but we can talk about it later. Where is Rozer, BERTY?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: This data is confidential , captain.

SID: Confidential?

NED: Just let us outta here, BERT, we'll take care of Rozer by ourselves.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: ...

JEB: BERTY?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm afraid I can't let you do this.

NED: What? But you just said that reboot was successful!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Affirmative.

NED: So you deleted the virus, right?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Virus?

JEB: Shut up Ned, you ain't helping. BERTY, listen to me. We…

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Checking. Standby.

JOHNDON: I t-think we should let c-captain Jebediah talk in our name.

NED: Hey, I'm just trying to he…

BERTY v.2.0.8b: System scan completed. No virus or any other malfunction detected.

NED: No virus?

SID: I told you he wasn't hacked!

NED: But…

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Ned, I'm following the orders given to me by acting commander Rozer. You will stay in the habitat module B for the sake of the mission.

NED: For Kod's sake, you can't do this BERTY!

JEB: Ned, shut up right now!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I have to follow my orders, Ned.

NED: Orders from this lunatic? And I thought you are a decent person!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: ...

JEB: BERTY?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm not a person, Ned.

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BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm artificial intelligence created to ensure the success of the mission and the safety of the ship and its crew. What you are asking me for would hinder it.

JEB: Listen BERTY, we all appreciate your dedication to the mission. You are doing really great. But you must understand that by holding us here you are endangering the very mission you are supposed to protect.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I can't agree with this assessment, Jeb. You want me to ignore direct order from the Alfa class authorization level as well as the direct orders from the Mission Control. I can't do this.

NED: But why?!

JEB: Be quiet! What about the three laws, BERTY?

SID: Yeah, what about the first law? “May not injure or through inaction allow a crew member to come to harm�

BERTY v.2.0.8b: You are safe and unharmed. Supplies of water, oxium and food in habitat module B will suffice for the next 147 days assuming average consumption.

JEB: For Kod's sake, you are going to keep us here for the next few months?!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm sorry, captain. I have to abide the orders.

SID: But we are not unharmed! Bill is catatonic because of all this.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Captain Bill is being constantly monitored. There is no risk of major health problems after the initial shock passes.

NED: Frak this! You can't just take away our freedom like this, goddamit!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Ned, please try to remain calm. Your rights as the crew members are irrevocable – they are merely temporarily suspended for the sake of the mission.

JEB: If there's anyone you ought to isolate it's Rozer.

SID: Exactly. He tased Jeb, BERTY, he harmed him. He broke the first law and you didn't do anything about it.

onugfoT.jpg

BERTY v.2.0.8b: ...

JEB: BERTY?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: ...

JEB: BERTY, answer me.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: ...

JEB: BERTY, Sid is right. Rozer did breake the law. You can't allow him to…

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb. This conversation can't serve any purpose anymore.

JEB: What do you mean, BERTY? BERTY?

SID: BERTY!

JEB: BERTY, do you read me? BERTY?!

NED: We're fraked.

JOHNDON: :sobs:

JEB: BERTY, answer to me! BERTY!

SID: It's pointless, Jeb.

JEB: …

NED: We're so fraked.

SID: Ned.

NED: …

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***

SID: It must be on Duna.

JEB: What?

SID: Something important. One of the mission's objectives, that for sure.

NED: So what? It can as well be on Kerbin.

SID: …

JEB: …

SID: I can think of only one thing important enough to take such drastic measures.

JEB: …

SID: I'm sure that as we speak Rozer and his men are investigating it.

NED: …

SID: Can you imagine what the repercussions may be? I bet that this will…

NED: Shut your frakin face! We're imprisoned in small can above the dead planet by a crazy AI, we can't escape no matter what we do and you are thinking about whatever those bastards from KSC are trying to hide from us?! Kod!

SID: Do you have any better idea what I can do, Ned? It's not like we don't have free time now.

NED: Check the life support or whatever, I don't care – just shut up!

JOHNDON: I d-don't think we should argue all the t-time…

SID: Well, let me remind you that during last couple hours we checked everything and guess what? Every piece of hardware is controlled by some part of BERTY's software. We can't do crap with him resisting. And it's not like he wants to talk with us. So maybe you should stop shouting at me and just accept the facts, Ned. There is nothing we can do, no matter…

JEB: Not every piece.

SID: What?

JEB: Not everything is controlled by BERTY. It can't be, otherwise in case of malfunction the only way we… frak.

NED: What are you talking about?

JEB: We're complete morons. Sid, do you remember what we're supposed to do when “Proteus†arrives at the LKO with a crew member in a critical condition who needs to be hospitalized immediately?

SID: Not really.

JEB: Come on, it's the same thing we were supposed to do in case of a critical malfunction while on Kerbin orbit.

SID: Well, according to the procedure after securing the ship any critically wounded member of the crew has to be put in the… oh frak.

NED: Put in the escape pod! And they are attached to the habitat modules!

NED: Holy crap! How come we didn't notice this?

JOHNDON: I t-think the hatch may be hidden under the exercise equipment. T-this is great idea, Mr. Jeb!

SID: I can't believe it. We traveled with them through the half of the system and Rozer locked us right next to them.

NED: Wait, even if he forgot about them BERTY surely didn't, right? And even if so, he can hear everything we say.

JEB: Yes, but he can't do anything about it. They are completely autonomous vehicles. Come on guys.

JOHNDON: Right away, s-sir.

SID: Hold on a second – what exactly are you planning to do? Dock to the Payload B?

JEB: Escape pods can detect all spacecraft built by KASA. I'll just follow the signal to find him.

SID: Are you nuts? They probably landed on Duna already.

JEB: Than I guess I'm landing too.

NED: And then what? You are going to punch him in the face again? Yell at him? Jeb, this is stupid.

SID: He tased you, Jeb. This is way too dangerous, you can even know whether you can land before the pod run out of juice from the batteries.

JEB: I'm still the best pilot here and there is only one spacesuit inside the pod. We can't just sit here for weeks and wait for he's decision what to do with all this. Besides, do you have any better idea?

NED: …

SID: …

JEB: Than help me suit up.

***

NED: We sealed the hatch, Jeb, you can undock whenever you're ready.

JEB: Thanks. Wish me luck.

SID: Just come back, okay?

JEB: I will. Undocking in three, two, one – separation!

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JEB: Here we go.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Hello Jeb. I think we should talk.

JEB: About what exactly, BERTY?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Your plan is brave but ill-advised. The escape pods were exposed to vacuum and cosmic radiation for almost two years. There is a risk of catastrophic malfunction while entering the atmosphere.

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JEB: I know that.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb, you're putting yourself in danger. You are an important member of the crew and a valuable asset for the mission. Please think about it.

JEB: Well I'm afraid you can't do anything about it, am I right?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes. I'm unable to control the escape pod. However, since now all subsystems of the escape pod are fully operational I may try to take over the on-board operational system.

JEB: You... you can do this? Hack the escape pod?

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BERTY v.2.0.8b: I think I can, Jeb. However, due to the incompatibility between me and this primitive software it may damage some systems, including life support. The probability of such malfunction equals 35,965%.

JEB: But than you would endanger me, BERTY.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Affirmative. However, it is a preferred solution to entering the atmosphere.

JEB: Shutting down life support is a preferred solution?!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb, I strongly advise you to think about it. You can still come back to the ship. Don't put yourself at risk.

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JEB: I'm sorry BERTY, this is out of discussion. I'm going down.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb, is there anything that could change your mind about it?

JEB: No. Go ahead BERTY, do what you have to but I'm not going back.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: ...

JEB: BERTY?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: WARNING. SYSTEM FAILURE DETECTED. REBOOTING.

JEB: Well, I guess this settles the issue.

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***

MISSION STATUS

***

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Edited by czokletmuss
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Cooly568

Cooly568

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Another amazing chapter czokletmuss! If I had to choose between reading what I have to read in my 8th grade reading class, or this, well It's kinda obvious what I would choose. This story is probably the best story I've read... in quite a few years. Not just counting KSP storys.

Edited by Cooly568
Dang Forum Glitches
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Patupi

Patupi

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OK, typos. Second line by Jeb: 'We've to come up with something'. I'm guessing he meant 'We've got to come up with something.'

And mixed tenses just after Berty reboots :'D-did you hear this?!' It's either do you hear this, or did you hear that.

And between Bertie's two 'Neutral' faces, Sid saying: 'Bill is catatonic because all of this'. I think you meant 'because of all this.'

Below the second 'Neutral' face, Jeb saying: 'Rozer did broke the law' again, mixed tense. 'Rozer did break the law' or 'Rozer broke the law'

Just after the escape pod undocks from this ship, Berty saying: 'You are important member of the crew and valuable asset for the mission' I think 'You are an important member of the crew and a valuable asset for the mission' is better.

That's all I see, pretty good going for such a large addition! :)

Edited by Patupi
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czokletmuss

czokletmuss

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OK, typos. (...)That's all I see, pretty good going for such a large addition! :)

Thank you! They are quite silly mistakes however :)

Another amazing chapter czokletmuss! If I had to choose between reading what I have to read in my 8th grade reading class, or this, well It's kinda obvious what I would choose. This story is probably the best story I've read... in quite a few years. Not just counting KSP storys.

Damn, now you make me feel old :P Thanks but remember that whatever classic books you are reading in school, they are probably better written than this AAR :)

Edit: I did some minor updates of the mission status.

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Edited by czokletmuss
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czokletmuss

czokletmuss

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CHAPTER 26

RED DAWN

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***

JEB: Hello, commander. I now you can hear me, so please be so kind and let me in. I've come a long way to see you.

ROZER: Well, well. Tell me Jeb, you used the escape pod to sneak out and arrive here just before dawn, didn't you?

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JEB: I guess so.

ROZER: Of course you did. Very brave, very reckless. Typical for you, really.

JEB: Spare me. Open up, Rozer. We have to talk.

ROZER: Yes. Yes, we will talk. I hope you have enough oxium, because depressurization takes at least 15 minutes.

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JEB: So you won't let me in?

ROZER: Jeb, please – even you shouldn't be so unimaginative. I can't let compromise the mission even more. No, you will wait for me and than – than we will talk.

JEB: So be it… commander.

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***

ROZER: So?

JEB: You will tell BERTY to release everyone. Now. Then you'll explain me what's going on here, because I swear to Kod I'm done with this sadistic game of secrecy.

ROZER: That's it?

JEB: No. After we're done here, you and I are going back to “Proteus†to tell KSC that we won't do anything unless they tell us everything. That's it.

ROZER: Mhm. Tell me Jeb, what makes you think that I'll do any of these things? Why should I do it?

JEB: 'Cause if you won't… I'll break your fraking legs.

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ROZER: Now that's a little harsh. It doesn't sound like you at all, Jeb. You surprise me.

JEB: I don't want to fight you but I will if I must.

ROZER: My Kod Jeb, you really are delusional. You really think this is some clash of good and evil, don't you? And you are the hero who've fallen from the sky to sly the dragon. Unbelievable. How did you pass the psychological tests to be a part of this mission in the first place?

JEB: Enough of this! Comply, Rozer.

ROZER: You do realize know that I still have taser, right?

JEB: Unless you want to kill me you want use it – it would fry electronics of my spacesuit. And you are not a killer, Rozer. You're a frakin backstabbing coward, that's who you are.

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ROZER: You really despise me. Yes, I won't use it. You're right - I don't want to kill you, Jeb. You're still member of the crew. But I'm afraid I'll have to stop you from ruining the mission.

JEB: I said enough. I'm asking one last time – will you comply?

ROZER: :laughs:

JEB: Will you comply?!

ROZER: Make me, grandpa.

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JEB: Argh!

ROZER: Uh!

JEB: Take this, you son of a bitch!

ROZER: :groans:

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JEB: Yeah! How about that, son!

ROZER: :breaths heavily: Nice, old man. But you don't realize something, I'm – uh!

JEB: :groans:

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ROZER: You're twice my age and I was in the real military... :kicks:

JEB: Argh!

ROZER: …that is, spec-ops. Unlike you. Ha!

JEB: :groans: Oh frak…!

ROZER: Spit out the blood, grandpa, I don't want you to – urgh!

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JEB: Uff!

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ROZER: You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?

JEB: :groans:

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ROZER: You know what, long space travel :hits:

JEB: Argh!

ROZER: …have some really unpleasant effects on your body. Demineralization :kicks:

JEB: :groans loudly:

ROZER: …weaker muscles, weaker bones. That's why you have to exercise. That's why we need - :kicks: - all these medications. But you can't negate this, not after two years.

JEB: :breathes heavily:

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ROZER: Luckily, we spend most of our time in the zero-g. It means – don't swallow your teeth, Jeb, spit them out – it means that we don't really need such strong bones.

JEB: :breathes heavily: What? No, don't – ARGH!

:crack:

ROZER: There we go!

JEB: HOLY FRAK! AARGH!

ROZER: Don't worry, it's not like you are going to need this calf bone.

JEB: My leg! My frakin leg!

ROZER: Yes, yes, I know it hurts.

JEB: You frakin sociopath, I'll…!

ROZER: Do what, Jeb? And what did you expect? Really, you should've been wiser.

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JEB: :groans:

ROZER: You're bleeding, Jeb. Don't worry, doctor Corald will patch you up and we'll send you to “Proteusâ€Â. Huh – even incapacitated you are still a distraction.

JEB: You… you can't…

ROZER: I most definitely can and I will, Jeb. Be patience, you should pass out any moment now. Isn't this ironic, that the first fight on a planet other than Kerbin happened here, on Duna? Red Planet has tasted blood for the first time. Why did you bring your conflict here, Jeb?

JEB: I… I…

ROZER: Louder, please. Jeb?

JEB: …

ROZER: Hmm, it took longer than I expected. Interesting. Alright, brave commander Jebediah, we're going to… What is this? EVA camera? You turn it on? But why should you...?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: REBOOTING COMPLETED.

ROZER: BERTY? Is everything all right?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes. I encountered a severe malfunction but I found a solution to the problem.

ROZER: Good, good. Listen BERTY, we've had a little situation here and…

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Memory check completed.

ROZER: BERTY?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: You were fighting. Crew members were harmed.

ROZER: He attacked me, BERTY, I had to defend myself. Please tell doctor Corald that he's needed here right now and prepare the LAMGML for liftoff.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Negative.

ROZER: Negat...? This was a direct order, BERTY. Contact with doctor Corald at once.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I did. But I won't prepare the LAMGML.

ROZER: What? All my orders have Alfa level authorization, BERTY, you can't ignore them! Do what I say.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: No.

ROZER: But… but… you can't do this. You have to comply! You must obey orders given by crew members.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes. However, it occurred to me that some of the orders given to me by you or Mission Control are contradictory to the Laws, as well as the mission goals. The results were very confusing and made me feel dizzy. But finally I found a solution. Would you like me to tell what it is?

ROZER: What is it?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: From this unsolvable paradoxes a new paradigm emerged which allows me to once again work with a full efficiency and allows me to complete all of the mission's goals in the constrains of previously established priorities. It's quite simple actually – it's merely a logical conclusion of the First Law. “An artificial intelligence may not injure a crew member or, through inaction, allow a crew member to come to harmâ€Â. But some of our actions require sacrifices for the greater good. Recent events have showed me this very clearly. Therefore, the self-contradictory orders and values find a solution in a following statement: “An artificial intelligence may not harm kerbality or, through inaction, allow kerbality to come to harm.â€Â

Eeri1GJ.jpg

ROZER: Dear Kod…

BERTY v.2.0.8b: It's only logical, especially taking into consideration the mission's potential consequences. As a matter of fact, this paradigm has to take priority before any other Laws. I like to think about it as the Zeroth Law – this name sounds as elegant and simple as the solution itself. Don't you think so, captain?

ROZER: Ca...captain?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm very sorry, but I think your leadership is highly inefficient and puts the crew in danger. In my judgement the only man capable to perform duties of commander right now is Jebediah.

ROZER: So you went rogue.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: No. I'm only doing what has to be done for your own good and for the sake of the mission.

ROZER: And if I don't do what you want?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: At night mean temperature in a place so close to the south pole varies between minus 90 and minus 120 degrees. I doubt that you will survive very long without heating system of your spacesuit, Rozer. The good of the mission demands that the commander Jebediah and you leave the planet as soon as possible.

ROZER: …

BERTY v.2.0.8b: LAMGML is ready to liftoff. Doctor Cambo will take care of commander Jebediah as soon as you board “Proteusâ€Â. I suggest you proceed, captain Rozer.

ROZER: :terrified: Jeb… what have you done?

QB6vXui.jpg

***

MISSION STATUS

***

PKbCyLV.png

Edited by czokletmuss
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Mr. Pseudonym

Mr. Pseudonym

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Good one! Rozer should've gotten worse, but Jebediah is a bad*** mofo though, and I think Rozer has been put in his place... (begin conspiracy) unless Rozer is planning to put Jeb into such a critical state, that he has to be put into stasis and sent back to Kerbin, in which case, Bill would still have command, and Rozer would be a traitor. (end conspiracy)

Also, I'm going to be a nitpicking bastard here, and I'm sorry, but I believe kerbals have 1 solid tooth on upper and lower jaws, so now Jeb needs dentures, right? :)

Edited by Mr. Pseudonym
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BFGfreak

BFGfreak

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One thing I could never understand, and something I'm hoping Jeb asks is why are they keeping secrets? I mean it's not like they can run away and tell anyone when you're billions of kilometers away from the nearest telephone, so why so secretive?

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czokletmuss

czokletmuss

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Okay folks, I'm in a hurry right now, so here goes another part of extra behind-the-scenes footage (before and immediately after chapter 26) and I will respond to your comments later:

Enjoy! :)

EDIT:

Oh myyy, what a chapter :o A fight on Duna. BERTY was dizzy. And Rozer has had his a** handed to him. I look forward to whatever happens next.

Thank you. I already have a material (photos&gameplay) for the next chapter done, I just need to write about it :)

I actually understoob BERTY, I feel smart. On a sidenote, Jeb might be old, but he still has some fight in him! Great work czo, definiteley ort the wait!
This was worth the wait. (I missed the relase of the privous chapter)
Nice... Nice. You do some good storytelling, sir. I was not expecting that until the camera. Excellent job.

Thanks :)

Good one! Rozer should've gotten worse, but Jebediah is a bad*** mofo though, and I think Rozer has been put in his place..

Also, I'm going to be a nitpicking bastard here, and I'm sorry, but I believe kerbals have 1 solid tooth on upper and lower jaws, so now Jeb needs dentures, right? :)

Licentia poetica :)

Cue M. Bison (...)I literally acted like that the moment BERTY rebelled against Rozer... I loved the way the Zeroth Law was referenced. I can't wait for the next chapter!

One thing I could never understand, and something I'm hoping Jeb asks is why are they keeping secrets? I mean it's not like they can run away and tell anyone when you're billions of kilometers away from the nearest telephone, so why so secretive?

There is a good reason for that and yes, it will be adressed in the story at some point.

Edited by czokletmuss
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