Diseased Imaginings: The Pinwheel Project

[Geschosskopf]

What could possibly go wrong here?

The boffins were trying to solve the problem of rover wheels always getting damaged. The solution? Eliminate the wheels entirely. Instead, put a pinwheel of radial rockets on each end of the body tube and roll the entire vehicle. Voila, a rover with no moving parts. Brilliant! And it could run on the same rocket fuel as the main vehicle, so no more mucking about with electrical stuff. Of course, there was no way at all to steer it, the strength of the pinwheels was rather dubious, and the crew was subjected to extreme rolling, but these were considered minor features that could be implemented once the proof-of-concept prototypes had succeeded.

So, the boffins commandeered the 516th Kerbal Penal Battalion as test drivers and set to work. Soon, the Mk I Pinwheel was ready for its first test.

The boffins quickly discovered these little engines hardly had enough thrust to move the beast and consumed the fuel so fast the thing barely had the juice to clear the Launchpad. Still, in its brief running time, it did produce some entertaining explosions.

The search for more powerful, fuel-efficient engines led to the use of the SM Pulse-Detonation Engine, a newly developed device just entering testing itself. 8 of them were attached to the Mk II Pinwheel, dispensing with fuel pipes. They certainly solved the fuel and power problems, and they made a cool buzzing sound, but unfortunately also created so much smoke that the boffins sometimes couldn't see the explosions well enough to enjoy them properly---er, I mean, figure out what went wrong. Still, it was the 5th or 6th Mk II prototype that first got well and truly underway and managed to make it 3.8km from the Launchpad before all its engines overheated and exploded at once. The rest of the machine coasted to a stop and the dizzy crew managed to clamber out. One was left in place to mark the distance record and the other sent back to the test program.

With these encouraging results, the boffins decided that if 8 Pulse-Dets were good, 16 would be better, and thus the Mk III was born. Again they opted to mount the engines out on the struts to get better leverage, but as with the Mk I, this made them very easy to break off, whereupon the whole vehicle quickly went to pieces.

This quickly led to the definitive Mk IV, with 16 Pulse-Dets on the body literally nose-to-tail, with the exhaust squeezing out through the tiny gaps between them. This not only made a more reliable vehicle, it also reduced the density of the smoke so the boffins could see better.

On only the 3rd or 4th attempt, one of them managed to get going quite well and looked likely to beat the Mk II's record, until the SPH jumped out in front of it

At this point, the boffins were quite excited. They just needed 1 more good run to prove their concept, and it wasn't but 8 or 9 spectacular failures later that they got it. A Mk IV got on a good roll and made a beeline for the KSC Monolith. This ultimately provided an unexpected opportunity to test the vehicle's amphibious properties, which the boffins promptly seized on. Unfortunately, the vehicle proved totally unseaworthy but this was no surprise, it not having been designed for use in water.

All in all, it was a great day of cutting-edge science and discovery, which surely has put the KSP one step closer to its goal of dominating the galaxy. Plus there were countless cool explosions with wreckage strewn for miles around. What more could a Kerbal want?

[stupid_chris]

I... I don't... Wow lol.

[Procyon]

Whirlygigs... Man I loooooove whirlygigs

[Mekan1k]

+Rep for kerbalness!

[kahlzun]

Eldun is going all "Me Gusta"

[bob2787esq]

A similar craft was on DAD'S ARMY years ago..it was a bomb that was controlled by radio waves...i kept chasing the home-guard because one of them was trying to listen to a radio show but was actually moving the bomb...

[Henri von Braun]

Looks like a TIE fighter, no?

[nyrath]

Totally awesome, totally Kerbal.

And Jeb wants to know where his seat is.

Reminds me of a World War II secret weapon that was an utter failure, the "Panjandrum"

http://historiasconhistoria.es/2009/08/31/el-gran-panjandrum.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panjandrum

http://www.art.com/products/p9784726998-sa-i5573523/wilf-hardy-the-mighty-panjandrum-the-weapon-that-failed-to-work.htm?sorig=cat&sorigid=0&dimvals=5082126-207238&ui=27c17a81379349e29a128383de7afac4&PODConfigID=4985694

[Geschosskopf]

Reminds me of a World War II secret weapon that was an utter failure, the "Panjandrum"

AH! Thanks. As I was doing this, I got some deja vu, a vague recollection of having seen old B&W footage of something similar failing spectacularly but remember where or what it was about. This must have been my subconscious inspiration, before I even dimly remembered the footage.

You know, reading all the info you provided was like the reading my own post here. Same problems, same attempts at solutions, same disastrous results, except they don't seem to have quite killed anybody while I reduced the 516th Kerbal Penal Battalion to the strength of a platoon .

Also, it shows that KSP's physics are pretty good, duplicating real results even in this sort of weird situation that I'm sure the dev's never contemplated.

Anyway, glad you all thought it was a funny as I did. I mean, sometimes debris would rain down for 10 or 15 seconds after a particularly good--er, I mean bad--run. Maybe somebody could turn this into a challenge, see who can get the longest debris hang-time .