Kill the Kraken!

[F1refly]

I download the Asteroids Mod, attach 12 Massive Ion Thrusters to it. I send it off on a 10 year orbit around the sun. Due to the solar arrays covering it, it has enough electricity to last Aeons. Also, it has a team of self repairing, solar powered, heat resistant, impact resistant Robot Kerbals.

Ten years later, the Asteroid, thus dubbed CST-Oberon12/BX, leaves it's orbit around the sun, and thanks to the immense gravity of the sun and the Ion Thrusters permanently thrusting, it is going at near the speed of light, if not at the speed of light and Slams into the Kraken at such speed and with such force, that he should be dead or badly wounded at least. Although you've probably got a Gelatinous body capable of absorbing it or perhaps a Kinetic De-stabilizer field or something

Jeb Status:

[ShachonianX]

I launch OVER 9,000 asteroids at you, dealing a ton of damage.

Jeb Status:

[Monkthespy]

I throw Bop at you.

[billybobsatan]

I eat you and walk away.

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

The Krakens mom comes in and tell her son (Kraken) to clean up his room and do yardwork

[ninjakids]

The game fails and dies in a deep pit of dispair where no one ever plays it again and it is just dustying up their hard drive causing them to delete the game.

(Again, excuse my spelling)

But then, a time rip appears becuase of the 4th wall breaking!

I download the Asteroids Mod, attach 12 Massive Ion Thrusters to it. I send it off on a 10 year orbit around the sun. Due to the solar arrays covering it, it has enough electricity to last Aeons. Also, it has a team of self repairing, solar powered, heat resistant, impact resistant Robot Kerbals.

Ten years later, the Asteroid, thus dubbed CST-Oberon12/BX, leaves it's orbit around the sun, and thanks to the immense gravity of the sun and the Ion Thrusters permanently thrusting, it is going at near the speed of light, if not at the speed of light and Slams into the Kraken at such speed and with such force, that he should be dead or badly wounded at least. Although you've probably got a Gelatinous body capable of absorbing it or perhaps a Kinetic De-stabilizer field or something

Jeb Status:

But nothing can go at the speed of light, and it did, causing the Kraken-gods to remove it from the universe.

I launch OVER 9,000 asteroids at you, dealing a ton of damage.

Jeb Status:

They are very tiny astreiods, so it tickles! But two hit hard for 2 damage!

I throw Bop at you.

I ate Bop, remember?

I eat you and walk away.

You can't eat me.

QUOTE=TheCanadianVendingMachine;491340]The Krakens mom comes in and tell her son (Kraken) to clean up his room and do yardwork

[ShachonianX]

I throw the Sol system at you, causing everything in our solar system to hit you.

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

I fyou don't have a mom than you don't exist. Even if it was a test tube

[rewdew2]

I fire a planet piercing kraken buster strut stack at you from my anti-matter expansion chamber Orbital cannon.

[billybobsatan]

I delete the game so I don't have to deal with it.

[crasher925]

I throw a black hole at the kraken and it gets sucked up.

[BigBoy734]

I throw you into a dimension with fairies that grant my wish "KILL THE KRAKEN!"

[The Destroyer]

I send you to GLaDOS.

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

I call for the 4th doctor to eliminate you. And if that doesn't work, Daleks

[Designer225]

I use a super large jar (of Duna Atmosphere) and traps you. Krakens don't adapt well with low-pressures, as they are life forms.

Jeb status:

Edited July 4, 2013 by Designer225

[Designer225]

So... shouldn't we be getting a battle update now?

Also, I've attached supah asteroid propulsion onto big asteroids and gonna hits you (kraken) in HIGH SPEED!

Also, that is mostly SRB-powered.

Jeb status:

[Flixxbeatz]

The game.

Jeb's status:

[minerman30]

Squad releases a bugfix that removes all traces and forms of you.

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

Your file gets the ILOVEYOU virus

(The Virus caused the Whitehouse and the Pentigon to shut down their internet)

[bancika]

I create the a magnet that is bigger than the universe , and i create another one , so the kraken is killed by the power of the magnets. There's a debris shield on Kerbin , so Kerbin doesn't get destroyed.

[Designer225]

Why isn't the Kraken answering? Perhaps he's dead already?

Also another attack: Throwing Jool at YOU!

[Ben J. Kerman]

Sorry for posting on an old thread; I sort of do that a lot.

Get a Kiebherr KR 13000, lift a 1,500 ton block o' something, move the crane over to the Kraken, and release the payload! 

Jeb Status:

No, the crane lifting the crane lifting the crane lifting the crane lifting the model crane is not photoshopped. Impressed? Me too.  

[Maria Sirona]

I hit you with a hammer, it makes a *bonk* sound, and then i strike you with a sickle, it makes a *crunch* sound

[HyperDraco]

Fires an antimatter based warhead which instantly annihilates you

-Victory Secured-

[Max von Kerman]

Strutting  5 saturn V's together (good night my PC) and then crash it into the kraken!

Kraken health: -150 for every saturn v, so now the kraken is dead yay

jeb status:  

send him a jumping flea and get him from Nye Island back to any KSC facillities.