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IF our planets are named after gods.....

Penguinhero

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Brotoro

Brotoro

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Kerbal gods and places

Moho: A Hellish place.

Eve: Bringer of love and purplness.

Duna: The lonley warrior

Jool, bringer of Joolity, king of the gods.

And of course his sons, Laythe, Tylo, Bop, and his daughter Vall.

Eeloo: Bringer of cold death.

You forgot...

Ike: The lonely warrior's horse.

Gilly: Son of Eve, who shoots people in the butt with small arrows that make them float away.

Minmus: Goddess of good fortune, travel stops, and mint ice cream.

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SkyRender

SkyRender

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Kerbals...

"Kerbals are possibly the most backwards, sideways, and upside-down space-faring species in the entire galaxy, and that's really saying something. Their primary export to the rest of the galaxy is large explosions, though frequently said explosions never escape the confines of their planet. For whatever reason, Kerbals are utterly obsessed with three things: space flight, snacks, and science. Even their solar system's naming schemes reflect this, with each planet being named for a type of scientific instrument, each moon named for a type of snack, and reportedly they've nicknamed their sun for their local term for delta-V. If you ever encounter a Kerbal in your travels, be sure not to mention any of their favorite things unless you wish to hear them rant for hours on end about them in great detail. Should the Kerbal you meet be named Jebediah, you may as well just turn around and start running now. You might outrun the explosions that way, but don't bet on it."

Well, it used to say that. Their entry got trimmed down recently to "Not so harmless".

Edited by SkyRender
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AmpsterMan

AmpsterMan

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Kerbals...

"Kerbals are possibly the most backwards, sideways, and upside-down space-faring species in the entire galaxy, and that's really saying something. Their primary export to the rest of the galaxy is large explosions, though frequently said explosions never escape the confines of their planet. For whatever reason, Kerbals are utterly obsessed with three things: space flight, snacks, and science. Even their solar system's naming schemes reflect this, with each planet being named for a type of scientific instrument, each moon named for a type of snack, and reportedly they've nicknamed their sun for their local term for delta-V. If you ever encounter a Kerbal in your travels, be sure not to mention any of their favorite things unless you wish to hear them rant for hours on end about them in great detail. Should the Kerbal you meet be named Jebediah, you may as well just turn around and start running now. You might outrun the explosions that way, but don't bet on it."

Well, it used to say that. Their entry got trimmed down recently to "Not so harmless".

This post just shows how just a silly little sticky note, a smiling green dude, and the fact that players are horrible at this game for like the first fifty hours (we all are) can spawn enough imagination to describe an entire race. oneplus to you sir :P

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Geschosskopf

Geschosskopf

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Kerbol is the god of burning curiosity. This being the primary trait of Kerbals, Kerbol naturally is their chief deity.

Moho is the modern form of the ancient and original name "Mojo". He was a minor deity of mischievous magic. As a result, he became adept at dodging thunderbolts hurled his way by the more powerful gods he was always pranking. This is why Moho intercepts are difficult to achieve and require so much delta-V.

Eve is mother goddess in the Pink Floyd sense, refusing to let her children grow up. Hence, once you land on Eve, you can never leave. In myth, Gilly was the son of Eve by Kerbin, but Eve keeps him coddled in a neonate stage.

Kerbin is the oldest of the Kerbal gods, the ruler of brute-force, empirical engineering. He began as the patron of flintknappers and the builders of megalithic tombs and pyramids, but shifted his bailiwick through bronze and iron until today he presides over Kerbal rocket science. Mun is a clinker from his forge from back when Kerbals were in the Iron Age. Minmus is a patinaed drop of bronze that fell from his casting ladel back when Kerbals were in the Bronze Age. And the Monoliths all over the system were erected by Kerbin shamans during their ecstatic ascents to the sky back in the Stone Age.

Duna is goddess of the cosmetics industry. Thus, no matter how often Kerbals see her without her make-up, in all the ugliness of her orange, dead, uninhabitable desolation, they still keep thinking she'd make a beautiful new home for their species. In myth, Ike was one of her lovers so enchanted by her false beauty that he could never leave her.

Dres is the god of Space Tape. In The Beginning, King Kerbol decreed that Kerbin should build the universe for Him, just to see if it would explode or remain stable, to satisfy his Burning Curiosity. So Kerbin did about 99% of the work but then Eve caught his eye so he quit work early to go out with her, leaving his apprentice Dres to finish up. Dres realized that the universe would tear itself apart without some reinforcement, so he created the Sacred Strut that holds the whole thing together. His hanidwork can still be seen today as the bright bar of light all around Kerbin's ecliptic. Thus, when Kerbal astronomers realized that Kerppler's Laws required some small, dark, unappreciated and usually ignored body between Duna and Jool to hold the Kerbol system together, they naturally named it Dres.

Jool is the god of the ostentatious display of bling (known as "joolery" in the Kerbal language). His overweening prided caused the other deities to banish him to the outer reaches of the cosmos, where he now lords it over a posse of minor spirits who feel disenfranchised and think it's hip to hang with a non-conformer: Laythe, Tylo, Val, and Bop. Still, Jool's bling exerts a powerful attraction on many Kerbals today, so they keep going to marvel at his splendor.

Eeloo isn't named for a deity. It is instead named after the standard Kerbal greeting, as in "Eeloo, it's Jebediah Kerman here." This is because Eeloo wasn't discovered until very recently, when it seemingly just popped into existence. Kerbals thus think it's of alien origin, just their way of saying "eeloo" to the Kerbals.

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KjellFromHell

KjellFromHell

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You forgot...

Ike: The lonely warrior's horse.

Gilly: Son of Eve, who shoots people in the butt with small arrows that make them float away.

Minmus: Goddess of good fortune, travel stops, and mint ice cream.

I just love how everyone forgets about Dres; no-one likes Dres :(

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CatastrophicFailure

CatastrophicFailure

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Duna is indeed named for a warrior-god, Ike was his estranged illegitimate son. During an epic battle they wounded a bystander who got too close, called Dres, leaving her with a deep gash on her cheek, and so were sentenced by the other gods to spend all eternity circling and staring at each other but unable to cross the distance & fight.

Edited by CatastrophicFailure
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Moon Goddess

Moon Goddess

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Ok, so I'm working under certain ideas.

Known since antiquity, Sun (duh), Moho, Eve, Kerbin (double duh), Mün, Minimus, Duna, Jool

Discovered by first telescope. Laythe, Tylo, Vall

Discovered with telescopes in order of discovery: Bop, Dres, Ike, Eeloo, Pol, Gilly

I also want to have calls to Greek Roman mythology but definite differences.

The mythology.

Sun: Worship of the sun dates back to before recorded history. Many different cultures have worshiped the sun as a life giving force, either as a solitary religion or as a member of other gods, sometimes masculine sometimes feminine. The ancient peoples of the western desert viewed the sun as a hostile goddess and offered her sacrifice at a temple that remains to this day. The etymology of the modern word Sun is unknown.

Moho: Moho was the name of a god in the Eastern religion. Moho stole fire from Yarvin the sun god teaching Kerbalkind the knowledge of fire. He also brought other technologies to Kerbals. Yarvin wished to capture him but rather than hide Moho taunted him always staying a step away. Eastern astrologers named the quick moving planetia after Moho due to it's speed and how they saw it teasing the sun.

Eve: In the mythology of the Eastern religion, Eve was the farmer god. He created the farm animals and helped Moho teach Kerbals to plant and harvest. Kerbals prayed to him to bring rains and for good harvests. In the Eastern astrology those born with Eve in their sign are supposed to be very successful, in modern times this is interpreted to mean in business and luck.

Kerbin: Kerbin literally means "where Kerbals live" in the language of the central peoples, with Kerbal meaning "the people" respectively. People have suggested renaming the planet after Talviaar the mother goddess in the Eastern religion but the word is so entrenched this seems unlikely to gain any support.

Mün: Many religions have tales of Mün. A feminine Hunter in the Eastern religion, a light of knowledge and illumination in the north, a masculine protector in the western desert. In the western desert the Mün god guided by night and fought the sun goddess blocking her light by during the heat of the day once a month. The word Mün comes from the central peoples word "to measure time" or "to measure one month (essentially 6 days)"

Minimus: Often the first distant body noticed by ancient astrologers, mistakenly called a planetia. Many astrologers viewed Minimus as a ruling planetia due to how it moved controlled like the sun or Mün, not the looping path like the other planetia. Minimus was a Goddess in the Eastern religion, she was viewed as the goddess of travel watching over and taking care of merchants, wanderers and pilgrims alike. Being a goddess of freedom she punished those who charged undue tolls.

Duna: Goddess of War in the Eastern mythology, Duna was seen as a fearsome Kerbal with red skin and wings. She carried a magic polearm. (see Ike) She embodied the horror of war and teaching of her were used to dissuade kerbals from conflict. Even in ancient times direct worship of Duna was looked upon with suspicion. In Eastern astrology Duna represents a kerbals temper.

Jool: the king of the Eastern gods, he was portrayed as a chubby Kerbal known to change shape to many forms of animal and watch over Kerbals. He was often described as a trickster. He was also known as the god of the sky. Being the slowest of the planetia the ancient astrologers knew they named the planet after his girth. The position of Jool in a Kerbal's astrology is said to describe their chances for romance.

This was all that was known for thousands of years, till Jebileo Kerman improved the telescope used for spotting ships at sea and pointed it at Jool. What he saw there he realized were moons, totally remaking Kerbal science forever. He named them Laythe, Vall, and Tylo after the children of Jool in Eastern mythology. He went on to confirm the phases of Minimus and Eve.

Laythe: the oldest daughter of Jool was a goddess of winds and consort of Eve. She and her sister Vall were worshiped by ancient sailors.

Vall: the goddess of the oceans, modern information has lead many to suggest that it's name should be switched with Laythe due to Jebileo's inability to see the true nature of these moons with his primitive telescopes, however many oppose this as to not degrade the memory of Jebileo and the names are so deeply ingrained to almost be impossible now.

Tylo: the youngest son of Jool, god of crafts. Worshiped by builders and workers of metal.

Further scientists pointed their telescopes at Jool and other points in the sky for the chance to name a celestial body.

Bop: Due to the lack of remaining children of Jool, the discoverer of Bop named it after the spirit of hidden springs worshiped by the ancient people from his western desert region.

Dres: named after the god of home and hearth in the religion of the northern peoples. In their legends Dres was a jolly fellow that brewed strong beers. Tradition held to place a bowl of hot stew on your doorstep as a offering at midnight on the night of the new moon.

Ike: Ike was the magic polearm of the goddess Duna, it was said to be able to slice thru anything and always be in the right place at the right time to strike the deepest cut. Duna could always summon it to her hand from any distance.

Eeloo: Northern astronomers repeated the trend of discovering dwarf planets with inclined orbits and named Eeloo after the northern god of Ice and Snow, assured in the belief that this would be accurate for any world so far from the sun.

Pol: Pol was the spirit of plants in the mythology of the western desert, the ancient peoples of those lands saw this spirit as both helpful and tricky as many plants in their region carry harsh poisons.

Gilly: Gilly was the god magic and secrets in the mythology of the Eastern peoples. He was favored by the ancient astrologers, and the moon was named after him to honor the work of the ancient astrologers at documenting the orbits of the planetia and due to small gilly's ease at hiding.

I like worldbuilding. :)

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SkyRender

SkyRender

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Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Entry: Kerbals

Related Entries:

Kerbals->Legends->The Space Kraken

Kerbals->Legends->Jebediah Kerman

Kerbals->Beverages->Jeb's Coffee

Kerbals->Toxic Substances->Jeb's Coffee

Kerbals->Disturbing->Hazing Rituals->The Coffee Strainer Exercise

Kerbals->Local Lore->The Kerbal Solar System

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the Kerbal Solar System:

Back in the mists of time, forgotten to all but a handful of Kerbals who are believed to actually be lying about their age, the Kerbal solar system was formed. It was many billions of years later that the Kerbal race actually emerged, hence the discrepancy in the claims of one Rodemy Kerman that he personally saw the birth of the sun and that it was, in his own words, 'pretty neat'.

Regardless of questions of origin, the Kerbal solar system is formed primarily of at least 7 planets and 9 moons, although there is some debate about how accurate this count is given that Kerbals are notorious for mistaking grains of pollen, specks of dust, and other such common detritus for planets and moons as well. It was several million years before any of them actually realized that 'that strange floating disc in the sky' was in fact a moon, despite the fact that they had already identified several planets and moons by this point.

The first planet that Kerbals readily identified was their closest neighbor, which they named Eve (after the ancient Kerbal tool for measuring the distance between the top of a really tall cliff and the bottom; the term roughly translates to "really big rock with a wristwatch strapped to it"). Its miniscule moon was dubbed Gilly, after the Kerbals' favorite snack food (a sort of gelatinous flavored substance which is believed to cause hyperactivity in young Kerbals, but actually just causes severe gilly addiction).

Eventually, the Kerbals also realized that there was another planet further in from Eve, and dubbed it Moho (named for another ancient Kerbal scientific instrument that had been used in times of old to gauge how hard the wind was blowing; the term roughly translates to "piece of cloth tied to a stick and jammed really hard into the ground", though strangely this is considered to be completely different in concept from a flag).

The next planet and moon discovered by Kerbals, much to their shock, was in fact further away from their sun than Kerbin. Prior to this, Kerbals had long believed that Kerbin was the most distant object in their solar system, mostly because none of them wanted to actually look too closely at the night sky due to fears of "star blindness". This new planet was called Duna, after the most beloved Kerbal scientific instrument of the age (which, when translated out, means "really cool thing that everyone needs to have but nobody is really sure what it does"; this instrument makes an awful lot of noise every few minutes and flashes very interesting light patterns, but even Kerbal scientists have yet to discover what purpose it serves in spite of having invented it themselves). Orbiting Duna was a good-sized moon, which the Kerbals named Ike (after a fatty form of snack food which Kerbals eat religiously; the Church of Ike was founded specifically for the worship of these small, round, flat discs, in fact).

After discovering that planets existed beyond Kerbin, the Kerbals then discovered that another small planet existed further out from Duna. One particularly clever Kerbal scientist decided to call it Dres, after the scientific instrument formerly used to measure water depth (which translates to "extremely heavy rock with a Kerbal tied to it"; use of dreses has fallen out of favor in recent years with the recent discovery of the principle of buoyancy).

Beyond Dres, a large gas giant was discovered, which surprised the heck out of the Kerbal scientific community since, according to Dr. Munbus Kerman, 'we were pretty sure nothing that big existed anywhere'. This gas giant was named Jool, after the old scientific instrument utilized to measure the viscosity of gilly (which translates out to "sticking your finger in the goop and seeing how thick it sticks to it"; despite better instrumentation existing today, the use of jools to measure one's gilly viscosity remains very popular indeed).

Orbiting Jool, it was discovered, were no less than five moons. Laythe (named for a fizzy drink that tastes almost, but not quite, entirely unlike gilly mixed with ike), Vall (a fizzy drink that tastes exactly like gilly mixed with ike), Tylo (a hard candy which tastes nothing at all like gilly or ike, but an awful lot like bop), Bop (a truly nasty combination of seaweed and tree bark which nonetheless Kerbals love to pieces), and Pol (a concentrated mixture of laythe and tylo, often used by adolescent Kerbals to play pranks on their parents by pouring it into their morning coffee).

One particularly cheeky Kerbal scientist pointed out that there was another planet even further out from Jool, and was promptly ostracized for it, as Kerbal society demands of its scientific discoveries. However, when a planet actually was found to be there, the scientist was apologized to and given a year's supply of minmus, which is also the Kerbal societal standard for this sort of thing. The planet was named Eeloo, after the long-used scientific instrument which measures the passage of time (which translates, strangely, to "piece of rock tied to a string that is swung over one's head rapidly until it hits one in the face"; primarily eeloos are used to pass time quickly more than they are to measure the passage of time; even though that's not what they were meant to do, they're exceedingly good at it regardless).

Kerbals then focused their attention locally, and discovered to their shock that there were in fact moons orbiting their planet. The first one discovered was named Minmus (after a form of sugary, rubbery plastic-like material that Kerbals for some reason chew when they're nervous). Perhaps most embarrassing, however, was when they realized that the large disc in the sky they always had so much trouble not looking at when trying to find other planets was in fact a moon. They promptly named it Mun, after the world-famous confectionary dessert which is comprised of sixteen layers of various seafood dipped in sugar, laythe, vall, and gilly. For reasons unknown to anyone else in the galaxy, Kerbals are very fond of making mun, even though they absolutely refuse to eat it since it tastes like sicky-sweet fish covered in seaweed and tree bark.

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Brotoro

Brotoro

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The planet Jool is named after the King of the Kerbal gods. Jool is narcissistic, inconsiderate, petulant, and irresponsible...in other words, great classic god material. He is envious of all other gods, and therefore he is usually depicted as green in color. He wears a mighty golden belt that can kill mortals who spend too much time exposed to it. Laythe, Vall, and Tylo were three fair maids whom he tricked into having sex with him by disguising himself, respectively, as a bull, a shower of gold dust, and a battery-operated sex toy.

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  • 1 year later...
Christoph1337

Christoph1337

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I'm gonna be an overachiever and introduce a mythology that includes the stock PFCE planets too. Because I'm just a BadS like that.

Kerbol: Kerbol was the first king of the gods, said to be the first being to come into existence from the primordial smoke. However, Kerbol was a cruel and tyrannical ruler and he forced all his children, the gods and goddesses, to attend him constantly. Eventually he was overthrown by his eldest children, Jool and Sentar, and imprisoned at the heart of the Sun, wherein he is burned for eternity.

Moho: Moho was the grand tinker of the gods, and he is said to be the one who designed and constructed the prison for Kerbol. It is for this reason that Moho orbits so close to the Sun: so Moho can observe his handiwork and make sure there are no weaknesses in the prison. Moho is the god of explosions and rocket designers.

Eve: Eve was the goddess of deception, a cruel deity who enjoyed playing pranks on the primitive mortals. It is said the atmosphere which surrounds the planet is her perfume, which she uses to lure in suitors for the purpose of breaking their hearts later.

Gilly: Gilly is a young male cloud spirit who was lured by Eve's perfume and became entranced with her. Eve, finding herself strangely drawn to the spirit, finds herself unable to part with him, causing her to go through cycles where she alternately invites Gilly closer and casts him away from her.

Kerbin: Kerbin is the ancestral goddess of Kerbals and younger sister of Eve. It is said that, when she found that her father had been imprisoned and Jool had taken the throne and betrayed Sentar, Kerbin began to weep ceaselessly, creating the oceans which cover the world.

Mun: Mun is the eldest daughter of Kerbin and the patron of astronomers. It is said that Mun envied the power of her grandfather Kerbol during his role, so one night she sneaked into his palace and stole some of his light. However, she has to hide this light during the day, so she can only display it at night.

Minmus: Minmus is the second daughter of Kerbin and the patron goddess of the color cyan. She is said to be jealous of her sister's close relationship with their mother, which eventually drove her insane. That's probably the reason her orbit is all tilted.

Duna: The Kerbal god of war was said to be the favorite son of Kerbol, and appears in mythology as a giant Kerbal with red skin and black eyes. He disgraced himself in the battle against Kerbol by getting his young lieutenant Dres killed, causing him to banish himself beyond the orbit of Kerbin in shame.

Ike: Ike was the servant of Duna and served as his trusted bodyguard during times of war. He was said to be able to divert any threat, which is why you always get a goddamn Ike encounter when you don't want it. He was also the god of magic; he was so afraid of his own strength that he is said to have sealed away the source of his powers in a boulder and cast it into orbit so he could never abuse it or lose control.

Dres: Dres was the god of courage, and is said to have served as a lieutenant to Duna in the war against Kerbol. However, because of Duna's arrogance he was killed in battle. The other gods attempted to bring him back, but were only successful in granting him a partial life, halfway between light and darkness.

Jool: Jool is the oldest son of Kerbol and is portrayed as a very fat Kerbal in robes. Jool was originally the god of storms, but after overthrowing his father Kerbol he became the new king of the gods. He also banished Sentar to the outer limits of the solar system and is responsible for the creation of Kerbals in his own image.

Laythe: Laythe is the goddess of motherhood and friendship, and is said to be the patron of travelers. Laythe is the eldest daughter of Jool and is said to have created the moon named in her honor in order to give Kerbals a place of familiarity and rest on their way to the outer edges of the system.

Vall: Vall is Laythe's younger sister and the second daughter of Jool. Vall, goddess of envy, attempted to create a world as beautiful as Laythe's, but she was unable to do so and ended up creating a harsh wasteland. She has never forgiven her sister for showing her up and often throws passing ships at her in bitterness.

Tylo: Tylo is the older brother of Laythe and Vall and the eldest child of Jool. Tylo was the god of anger; after becoming bitter that his father chose his own design for Kerbals over Tylo's, he created a world on which he hoped it would be physically impossible for them to land.

Bop: Bop is a powerful demon who was adopted by Jool in hopes he could be reformed. However, Bop secretly was in alliance with Kerbol during the war; as revenge for Jool imprisoning his master, Bop created the Deep Space Kraken and its variations in order to torment Jool's creations. Bop also serves as the god of fear.

Pol: Pol is the youngest child of Jool and god of sorrow. Pol was cast out by his father for being weak, and so Pol hides at the edge of the system, refusing to interact with anyone.

Eeloo: Eeloo is the goddess of ice, and was the last child Kerbol fathered before he was imprisoned. Eeloo is antisocial and goes out of her way to avoid the company of other gods or goddesses.

Sentar: Sentar is the second-oldest child of Kerbol and the goddess of chaos. She helped orchestrate the rebellion against Kerbol, but after he was overthrown Jool realized that she was dangerous and exiled her to the outer solar system. She and her children became bitter and vengeful and are said to constantly be plotting revenge against the other gods.

More to be added...

Edited by Christoph1337
Continued...
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