How did Kerbals evolve?

[Fendleton]

My personal hypothesis at one stage was that kerbals are the seed-pod stage of the life-cycle of those trees you find around the place. Over many thousands of years, they developed greater and greater means to spread seeds further, eventually developing the "proto-kerbal", that could walk and (to a certain extent) think. Smarter and braver kerbals could travel greater distances before getting themselves killed in a puff of seeds, and thus outcompete and drown out other strains, while the limited common sense tended to select for more fire-proof trees and seeds (thus why you can stand a kerbal in an engine exhaust without harm, and the trees themselves are completely indestructible). Eventually this line of evolution got so stupidly convoluted that some of the seed pods started becoming genuinely intelligent enough to start messing around with technology, still favoring the more dangerous styles of vehicle to sate the intinctive need to explode at the end of their life, somewhere far away where the next generation of Kerbal Trees could sprout. This started to fall apart at the stage they got smart enough to build space rockets, since trees don't grow in space. Doesn't stop the kerbals smashing into other planets, mind.

....of course, this is utter codswallop, but it's good enough for a handwave. At least until cacti turned up, which kind of throws away the explanation for Kerbins rather sparse flora/fauna. Maybe they're the last surviving remnants of some distant cousin that built KSC2? I dunno.

[AmpsterMan]

In a weird way I kind of see digital constructs as universes unto themselves with very limited rules. That being the case, I DO believe they were created, by our dev team of course. They live inside my Hard Drive and the sole purpose of their existence is to please me when I make rockets.

[Superluminaut]

The Kerbal

The best terrestrial estimation of the Kerbal is the phylum Nematoida, however enough differences are present to merit a brief analysis. Essentially the Kerbal is two layers of tissue filled with an inorganic jelly-like substance which gives the Kerbal shape. Nerve clusters are suspended within the gelatinous substance forming no discernible structures. In fact the Kerbals nerve net is highly plastic, capable of severing multiple connections only to recover by randomly rejoining neurons, regaining questionable functionality through a process not yet understood. This phenomenon can be readily observed after a Kerbal meets violents and remains in a catatonic state for a few moments.

The Kerbals nutritional needs primarily consist of low concentrations of minerals due to Kerbal jelly containing enough organic molecules to last a Kerbal lifetime. The mouth opening is lined by two teeth like structures at the anterior and posterior ends of the cavity. These teeth are used for grinding minerals in preparation for absorption. A large prehensile tongue is also used for absorbing nutrients within crevices. The Kerbal tongue has the secondary characteristic of allowing for some crude communication. Kerbals have 4 appendages making possible a range of locomotion including bipedality. Each appendage is adorned with 4 digits, the palmar digits being prehensile giving the Kerbal a limited ability to manipulate its environment. Kerbals have two large eyes able to focus by adjusting the distance between lens and retina-like-tissue. Although Kerbals are largely subterranean, the large eyes are useful when easily accessible mineral deposits are depleted and Kerbals migrate to the surface in order to find new places to tunnel. A migrating Kerbal can be easily marked by two clear behavior changes, a sudden fascination with bright objects, and an innate desire to explore.

Kerbal molecular biology, similar to our own gene centered mechanisms, is a paradoxical wonder. Kerbal gene replication and transcription appears to have evolved at two separate levels. The first, and the original system, is prone to producing errors at exceptionally high rates. With this mechanism alone, the evolution of organisms would have been impossible. However a second level of molecular machinery evolved with countless methods for checking code, correcting, removing bad products, and rechecking, culminating in a system with so many checks and balances, that virtually no errors are ever expressed. This overly complex and incredibly inefficient system has the one enviable advantage of making the Kerbal invulnerable to all molecular damage from environmental causes.

Kerbals reproduce through budding. A small polyp forms and eventually cleaves off. The protokerbal form grows larger, at this stage only producing organic molecules for suspension in the Kerbal jelly. Eventually features will take shape producing and exact reproduction of the original Kerbal. Genetic variations can be produced by placing multiple protokerbals within close vicinity, allowing them to fuse and produce a new kaleidoscopic Kerbal. At this time no limit to the amount of protokerbals that can fuse is known. It is Kerbal tradition to name new Kerbals through a combination of syllables derived from the parent Kerbals names.

[Tw1]

What intrigues me more is how they evolved to consider 4 rotations of their planet one day. A day on Kerbin must be confusing.

[Rhomphaia]

Where do you get slow movement from? A kerbal can run 100m in 45 seconds. sure Usain Bolt can do it in 10 but not wearing 600lbs of movement hampering spacesuit and MMU he can't

[Kialar]

And IT spoke (reverse, spanish, surely), there be Boosters.

And there were Boosters.

And IT spoke (even more reverse, spanish), there be Struts.

And there were Struts.

And then IT thought (reverse, spanish, the other way around), there be pilots.

And there were Pilots. At least kind of.

And IT divided heavens from explosions, the heavens above, the explosions at the ground and in between.

And then IT gave the Pilots a completely ridiculous way of flying, and spoke: Fly (spanish, reverse, of course).

And the Pilots did fly.

And they called themselves Kerbals.

And IT watched them fly and was happy with what he created (in spanish, reverse, as it is).

NEMA!

[skyace65]

now seems like an appropriate time to post this http://www.kerbalcomics.com/2013/03/02/episode-21-its-just-a-theory-anyway-right/

[DaRocketCat]

Evolution is a hoax! Just like Global Warming!

And did I mention that the Earth and Kerbin are actually flat?

[ThePyrateCaptain]

As with most things, I imagine they evolved on a paper napkin, after several long hours and pizzas and beer in the morning the developers had a crude kerbal, secondly the ease in which they are animated explains a lot.