The Kerb Kerman Show!

[TheKerbonaut]

Great and humorous story. I would be glad to give you new suggestions if you are running out of old ones.

[Xacktar]

Great and humorous story. I would be glad to give you new suggestions if you are running out of old ones.

Thanks! I like the name, by the way!

[viveret]

The XAC Astronaut Gravekeeper.

[TheKerbonaut]

How about having Kerb review a space station technician, which is secretly a XAC missile platform to blow up stuff? I could already see Kerb clicking his remote and accidently showing the space station firing a rocket or seeing the rocket hit the launch pad.

[TheKerbonaut]

If I repost the first suggestion, sorry for double post.

Suggestion #1: Have Kerb talk with a technician that works on a space station orbiting Kerbin, which is secretly a XAC missile platform to launch missiles, and have Kerb accidently show the missiles firing. That'll be funny to see.

Suggestion #2: Have Kerb interview a rocket designer, who has his new rockets to show.

Hope this helps you write new stuff!

[Mad Potatoes]

Hmm... A wild suggestion just popped around my head.

Why doesn't Kerb interview YOU? Would be awesome if the king of the whole Xackylvania talked in this show ^^

[TheKerbonaut]

Hmm... A wild suggestion just popped around my head.

Why doesn't Kerb interview YOU? Would be awesome if the king of the whole Xackylvania talked in this show ^^

I think that could be the grand finale, if Xacktar in the "real world"(what's that?) wants to end it. I don't want it to end though!

[TheDataMiner]

Hmm... A wild suggestion just popped around my head.

Why doesn't Kerb interview YOU? Would be awesome if the king of the whole Xackylvania talked in this show ^^

Yes! Yes! YES!!!!!! Seconded!

[Xacktar]

Hmm... A wild suggestion just popped around my head.

Why doesn't Kerb interview YOU? Would be awesome if the king of the whole Xackylvania talked in this show ^^

Hm, uh, wow.

That would be extremely odd...

Writing myself, well myself as an evil, yet strangely incompetent dictator...

For some reason I can only imagine him talking like Boris Badenov crossed with Cave Johnson.

Might have to think a bit on that one!

I think that could be the grand finale, if Xacktar in the "real world"(what's that?) wants to end it. I don't want it to end though!

Good idea! Perhaps that would be good for a special episode, like the tenth one or something. Hmmm.

Some other good suggestions here. Rocket Designer, a Secrety Things In Clear Kerbin Space(STICKS) technician and a rep from the mortuary department of the XAC. Billy-Bobdin was sort of a rocket designer... but maybe...

...maybe Oggy wants on the show next.

(You guys rock, btw. )

Edited January 6, 2014 by Xacktar

[KSK]

Heh - having Xacktar Himself on the show would be excellent! Maybe he could carry an officer's baton and (badly) conduct the music for that days rendition of 'All Hail Xacktar' in person.

[viveret]

I can see Jebediah come on the show, then complain about how his thunder got stolen by Ogden. It would be pretty funny, and he would insult Xactar/XAC on live kerbalvision.

[Nimja]

How about some sort of Kerbal musician/pop start appears on the show?

[Xacktar]

Oooh, lotsa good ideas.

Gonna be away from my computer for about a week, guys. I'll be thinkin' on all of these. ^^

[Mad Potatoes]

Take your time

We'll be waiting anxiously

[mdatspace]

Great story.

[Xacktar]

Got solid internet back, woot! No pc yet. Wouldn't want to run the show on sub-par screenshots. I'm here to read suggestions and ideas, though!

[wminsing]

Love it! As for a few more ideas:

1. You haven't done anything with an unmanned mission gone horribly and hilariously wrong yet. Maybe Xactar, all hail him, he is really cool, doesn't believe in probes but some of his engineers convince him to give them a try?

2. There's gotta be some comic value in goo, goo missions gone wrong, solyent goo is kerbals, who thought this goo thing was a good idea anyway, etc.

3. Xactar, all hail him, he is really cool, decides to establish a 'rehabilitation' colony on a moon?

-Will

[Rowsdower]

This would all be really cool in video form, too. I'd love to see Kerb cut to a clip like they would on a real life talk show.

[Xacktar]

Love it! As for a few more ideas:

1. You haven't done anything with an unmanned mission gone horribly and hilariously wrong yet. Maybe Xactar, all hail him, he is really cool, doesn't believe in probes but some of his engineers convince him to give them a try?

2. There's gotta be some comic value in goo, goo missions gone wrong, solyent goo is kerbals, who thought this goo thing was a good idea anyway, etc.

3. Xactar, all hail him, he is really cool, decides to establish a 'rehabilitation' colony on a moon?

-Will

1. Why would an evil...ahem... misunderstood dictator spend good money on computer probes when has perfectly good 'volunteers'? hehe

2. Great Idea!

3. Perhaps the land of lost rovers? Also good idea. I'll be thinkin on these.

This would all be really cool in video form, too. I'd love to see Kerb cut to a clip like they would on a real life talk show.

So would I, but rigging studio animation and doing the voice acting up to par would take a lot of investment. Who knows, though, perhaps there will be a mod in the future that will allow rigging kerbals and props for animation, that would open up some possibilities.

[Xacktar]

Ok! My PC is back where it belongs, specifically a few feet in front of my face. Still thinkin' on the next episode. I think Oggy is gonna be our guest star, just got to find something for him to do.

What do you guys think?

Build a space station?

Trip to minmus?

Plane trip to the artic?

I'm trying to keep the natural progression of events as the episodes go forward. First episode was flight, then stable rockets, then orbiting and the last episode was the Mun. Not sure what would be the 'normal' progression after that point.

Edited January 19, 2014 by Xacktar

[The Error]

I vote plane trip to the arctic, flying over the mountains specifically at the request of Xactar (all hail him, he is really cool).

[KSK]

Ok! My PC is back where it belongs, specifically a few feet in front of my face. Still thinkin' on the next episode. I think Oggy is gonna be our guest star, just got to find something for him to do.

What do you guys think?

Build a space station?

Trip to minimus?

Plane trip to the artic?

I'm trying to keep the natural progression of events as the episodes go forward. First episode was flight, then stable rockets, then orbiting and the last episode was the Mun. Not sure what would be the 'normal' progression after that point.

Oh this should be good! Whichever one you pick. My vote is for Minmus - you need to get even faster to go there, which strikes me as being more Oggy's scene. Dude doesn't have the patience for building a space station. A polar mission doesn't really follow on from the Mun to my mind, although Oggy getting packed off to the Arctic for some spurio... ahem, great and noble purpose of the Lord Xacktar, seems like it should be comedy gold!

[Xacktar]

Oh this should be good! Whichever one you pick. My vote is for Minmus - you need to get even faster to go there, which strikes me as being more Oggy's scene. Dude doesn't have the patience for building a space station. A polar mission doesn't really follow on from the Mun to my mind, although Oggy getting packed off to the Arctic for some spurio... ahem, great and noble purpose of the Lord Xacktar, seems like it should be comedy gold!

Ahh, good point, KSK. I think you're right. Oggy's adventure to Minmus coming soon!

[Xacktar]

We will return you to your regularly scheduled 23-hour daily marathon of 'Gee, I Sure Love Xackylvania' in just a few minutes. Now it is time for your hour of Xackylvania History with your host, Kerb Kerman.

Kerb: Hello ev-

Oggy: THIS IS AWESOME! WOOOOO!

Kerb: Ah, yes. It is indee-

Oggy: Is my mom watching? HI MOM!

Kerb: Yes, she is, everyone has to watch the show, Oggy. Now, if you'd jus-

Oggy: YO BILLY-B! I'M ON KERBIVISION! SWEET BOOSTER FUEL THIS ROCKS!

Kerb: hmph Perhaps if I put a picture up, then we could-

Oggy: WOAH, WHAT IS THAT CLICKY THING!? I WANT IT!

Oggy: HEY! THAT'S MY BABY, THE SWEET KESSIE FIVE! Love that ship. She goes zero to four thousand in, like, really fast. REALLY FAST YEEEEAHHHHHHH!

Kerb: Yes, I'm sure she does. Here, look at these pictures for a minute.

Oggy: Oooh, fire. I LOVE FIRE!

Kerb: I'm sure you do. Hello everyone! Welcome back to the Kerb Kerman Show! With me today, is the well-loved and respected-

Oggy: Oh nice, you even got the pic of Joebart blowing chunks... sweet.

Kerb: -Ogden 'Oggy' Kerman. Welcome to the show, Oggy.

Oggy: I LOVE IT HERE! Do you guys have a beer? I'm feeling the parch, man.

Kerb: FOCUS, OGGY! Ahem Now, tell us about the... what did you call it? Sweet Kessie?

Oggy: Sweet-K Five is my RIDE. YEAH! Took that heap to Minmus like POW! I had dual-pile RT-10's on her with W-Soak additions and a SWEEEEEEET set of 909's on the end stage. I had Billy hook them up- YO BILLY! YOU ROCK! YEAHH! -with V-Pack turbo-jection systems on the intern-

Kerb: ALRIGHT! I mean... Why don't you tell us about the trip to Minmus, Oggy. I'm sure Billy and your Mom-

Oggy: HI MOM! YOU ROCK!

Kerb: -would love to hear about it.

Oggy: GEEP YEAH THEY WOULD! That trip was awesome. I pulled the ol' fast one on Ronbo again. SUCK IT, RONBO! Took the bucket seat out of my '57 Honco and bolted that mother on the capsule the night before launch. YEAAAHHHHH! No way was I missing out on the launch in that tiny little pod again. I like to get up close and punch danger IN THE FACE! Do ya hear me? IN. THE. FACE.

Oggy: YEAH! That's what I'm all about! Swallowed three of my teeth just on liftoff... it was AWESOME.

Kerb: Ah, uh, right... So....

Oggy: IT WAS AWESOME! OPEN THOSE LUNG-HOLES AND SCREAM IT WITH ME! AWWWESSSSOOOMMMEEE!

Kerb: I'm not doing that.

Oggy: Sheesh. Buncha pansy 7S's in here.

Kerb: I have no idea what that means. I think we need another picture...

Oggy: Sweeeeeet Kessie Five! DAMN SHE IS HOT!

Kerb: Hold on, hold on... Did you really ride in that seat all the way from the launch pad?

Oggy: YOU CALLIN ME A LIAR, SON? AM I GONNA HAFTA GET OUT MAH SEPATRONS?

Kerb: Oh for the love of... Hey, would you look at the time! It's time for all of us to stand up and sing 'All Hail Xacktar-

Oggy: AWESOME! I LOVE SINGING!

Kerb: -He's... you know what, forget it. We'll be right back, folks.

Edited July 11, 2015 by Xacktar

[Xacktar]

We now return you to The Kerb Kerman Show! Staring your host, Kerb Kerman!

Kerb: Thank you, Bob. Welcome back, folks! We're here with Ogden-

Oggy: IT'S OGGY!

Kerb: Right, Oggy Kerman. When we left he was just about to tell us about his landing on Minmus.

Oggy: I was? SWEET! I rocked that mother- NOT YOU, MOM! -sweet K-5 down like a show, man. It was like riding lightning with a pair of rubber boots. BOOTS, YEAH!

Kerb: Ow, my earbones.

Oggy: GIMME THAT PICTURE THING!

Kerb: Why does everyone want th-

Oggy: PICTURRRRRRE!

Kerb: Now, Oggy... Focus... Tell us about the landing.

Oggy: I NAILED that touchdown, Kerb. NAILED IT DOWN! YEAH! I TOOK ITS SCRAWNY LITTLE FACE AND MY HAMMER AND-

Kerb: OGGY! Heh. Perhaps just tell us what happened. Quietly.

Oggy: Alright. Sheesh. The 909's got me down all smooth and smokey. Didn't even feel a bump when I hit spacedirt. Then I got out of the seat and, Kerb, wow... my legs were as wobbly as thirty-five tons on a five-pound docking clamp. BEST GEEPING RIDE EVER! I was still pumped, YEAH! SO PUMPED! I TOOK THE JETPACK AND WAS ALL SWEEEEE YOOUSSSSSHHHHH POW!

Kerb: Wait... did you...?

Oggy: YEAH! I knocked the Sweet Kessie DOWN... TO THE MINMUS GROUND! Well, more like up... on a slant. I broke some solar panels, though. SHARDS OF SOLAR YEAAHHH!

Kerb: I'm sure... but...I mean... Why?

Oggy: Pfssh. Billy dared me to. He thought I wouldn't do it.

Kerb: OF course. So What happened after you... headbutted your spacecraft?

Oggy: Oh, Ronbo made me plant the flag down. Told me it was a historical something. I STABBED MINMUS WITH A FLAG, YEAH!

Kerb: You know, no one ever mentions the first words spoken on Minmus... what were they, exactly?

Oggy: Jus' told ya. I STABBED MINMUS WITH A FLAG, YEEEEAH!

Kerb: You mean you...? Right.

Oggy: I need a beer. BEER! You want one? I'mma grab one. Be right back.

Kerb: Bob, you know the drill. I could use a break too.

We'll be back with more Kerb Kerman right after these funny videos of cats with accordions.

Edited July 11, 2015 by Xacktar