Your Zombie Plan?

[Codz]

Try and barricade myself in the house and hope the National Guard is holding out.

[RedDwarfIV]

Ok, zombie apocalyspe situation.

Standard.

Going to assume under the circumstances that my parents and sister will have been on a walk at the time and are currently holding out in Dad\'s car at Teversham and trying to get it to start without stalling again. IE, they won\'t factor into my plans during apocalypse.

-Hour 1

Ok, I keep a window pole I found on holiday once in my built-in wardrobe. Retrieve window pole.

Pick up torch.

Pack up my two laptops.

Stand around for quarter of an hour trying to work out how to bring my desktop.

Leave desktop for later.

Remove schoolbooks from camping bag I\'ve been using for school since my old bag broke.

Fill camping bag with underwear, spare clothes, towel, deoderant, portable DVD player and DVDs.

Put valuables [debit card, cash, phone, pocket AM/FM radio, etc.] into safe box, put safe box in rucksack.

Look through bathroom for useful things, like mouthwash, plastic toothpicks etc., put things in rucksack.

Grab scarf, put it on.

-Hour 2

Proceed downstairs, wielding window pole.

Assess situation downstairs.

Make sure cat stays in living room.

Gather tinned food, small smount of cutlery, teatowel for drying things with, all cans of drink and all the bottles of diet Coke.

Put consumables in a coolbag. Put coolbag in fridge, whilst throwing away various cheeses and sauces and egg sandwiches I don\'t want.

Look through bureau. Decide short range FM transmitter may be useful. Put it in safe box.

Get house keys, unlock outhouse door.

Go into utility room.

Pick up electricals, batteries, and the mains inverter battery for short term high-power.

-Hour 3

Grab toolbag from built-in wardrobe. Put toolbag in rucksack.

Go back downstairs. Go into outhouse, and lock outhouse door.

Check through outhouse windows if coast is clear.

Fences are high, OAP neighbours on either side of the garden. No zombies.

Unlock back door. Hold up window pole warily.

Proceed to outhouse shed. Unlock it.

Retrieve petrol generator, despite full knowledge that neither myself nor my Dad were able to get it started last time we tried.

Put petrol generator in outhouse, gather important tools from shed.

Take tools into outhouse. Go to shed at the end of the garden.

Locate electric hedge trimmer.

Test electric hedge trimmer on hedge, with trimmer plugged into mains inverter battery, to make sure it will work.

Notice that no movie characters ever used a hedge trimmer instead of a chainsaw.

Be disconcerted for a moment, before checking shed and deciding there is little there of use.

Notice cat box. Bring cat box and hedge trimmer to outhouse.

Lock outhouse door.

-Hour 4

Call 999. Recieve no answer.

Call 666. No answer.

Call local non-emergency police number. No answer.

Give up with phone.

Turn on TV. Power is still on as National Grid unlikely to fail for 24 hours.

BBC News informs me on the finer details of the zombie apocalypse. At least, a little more than I could discover just by looking out the living room window.

Remember the cat. Put her in cat box.

-Hour 5

Look out living room window. See zombies.

Attatch hosepipe extention to outhouse tap.

Bring hosepipe through house.

Realise it isn\'t long enough to reach my window.

Decide I didn\'t want to do that anyway because the water might damage my things.

Bring hosepipe to back gate.

Bring sister\'s slide over to bike shed by back gate.

Climb on to bike shed roof with hosepipe. Fire it at zombies to see if it drives them off.

Water drives them back a little, but then realise its just drawing attention to myself.

Realise escaping in Mum\'s car is something for tomorrow.

Go back to shed at the end of the garden. Retieve gazebo.

Throw gazebo parts up onto the flat roof of the outhouse.

Go indoors, go to landing, open landing window and climb out and onto the outhouse roof.

Set up gazebo.

Weight gazebo down with heavy objects to prevent it blowing away.

More tomorrow.

[Joshua21B]

How do I know you\'re not a patient zero super zombie trying to learn my plan so you can circumvent it when you start the zombiepocalypse?

[Altair1371]

How do I know you\'re not a patient zero super zombie trying to learn my plan so you can circumvent it when you start the zombiepocalypse?

[Joshua21B]

This is why I\'m going to survive and the rest of you are going to zombie chow

[samstarman5]

Day 1: Read World War Z

Day 2: Read The Walking Dead

Day 3: Read Mary Shelley\'s Frankenstein

Day 4: Read Bram Stoker\'s Dracula

Day 5: Read The Watchmen

Day 6: Read William G. Naphy\'s The Black Death and the History of Plagues 1345-1730

Day 7: Enjoy a beautiful day since I never left my house and survived the apocalypse.

[RedDwarfIV]

This is why I\'m going to survive and the rest of you are going to zombie chow

Who says \'Patient Zero\' has access to the Internet?

[sting_auer]

I live in california, FYI

Step 1:

Evacuate Stockton.

step 2:

Go to Orland (about an hour north of Sacramento). It\'s a little farming town, only 5000 people.

Step 3:

Meet up with my friends that live there

Step 4:

Hoard canned food.

Step 5:

Fortify the high school and the surrounding area.

Step 6:

Turn the fields into farms for goats, rabbits, potatoes, leafy greens, and other quick-to-grow food products.

Step 7:

Expand as necessary.

Side notes:

We would primarily use wooden spears topped with metal blades.

Other common weapons would be crossbows, large, machete-type blades, and bludgeoning weapons, such as maces, bats, and other similar weapons.

Firearms would be saved for emergencies, such as being raided by other people that have firearms.

The soldiers would wear plywood armor with motorcycle helmets.

[Joshua21B]

Who says \'Patient Zero\' has access to the Internet?

Who says he doesn\'t?

[RedDwarfIV]

Who says he doesn\'t?

Whoever made Patient Zero.

Because no one intelligent enough to design it would let it find ways of killing the most civilians.

[ohiobr]

Hour 1: Get up from PC, flip dead bolts, open gun safe, load mags, call work and cash in vacation hours(just in case).

Hour 2-whenever: Sit naked in front of PC eating mountain house straight out of the can until the power cuts out.

[Joshua21B]

Whoever made Patient Zero.

Because no one intelligent enough to design it would let it find ways of killing the most civilians.

Intelligent yes, common sense.....they did design a creature capable of starting the zombiepocalypse with one bite...

[Guest Flixxbeatz]

Okay. Let\'s be real.

I\'ll probably pack all useful things I have, raid a shop (if any), team up with some close people (if they want to), set off, and live off-the-grid. Not sure if effective enough though (given that I don\'t have any firearms experience at the moment)...

[Luigibro606]

1. Panic in house and fail to do anything.

2. Get bitten by zombie and die/become one.

[TNTGODZZ]

day 1 to 3 search for supplies/ arourments and equip the family 7 seater as nesecary

day 3-5, travel to seaside, get boat to ireland (live in the uk)

day 5+ live with nan and survive off the chickens and POTATOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CvVtjRtb]

[]

Edited August 2, 2019 by CvVtjRtb

[mrrpamplemousse]

1 : Dig a bunker with food for years

2 : wait...

[palker]

Get infected eat some brains.

mmmmm....brains.

[shoveycat]

Step 1: Paint large sign on my house saying "Human/Zombie Embassy"

Step 1: Work out our differences

[Nalin_Airheart]

Hour 0: Lock the doors.

Hour 24: Succumb to the neuro-toxin and become a zombie.

Hour 24: Kill someone and convert them.

Hour 25: Party everyday.

[Seret]

If any of the Historical Documentaries on the subject (eg: Night of the Living Dead) are accurate then the humans are the losing side. The first rule of conflict is don't be on the losing side.

Short answer: go Z early.

[DisarmingBaton5]

Find an aircraft carrier and a lot of food?

[rpayne88]

1. Get to Kennedy Space Center

2. Pitch a tent on top of the VAB

3. Modify some RSDs and escape towers to blow the roof off

4. Prep a rocket for launch

5. Wait for zombies to show up and enter the VAB

6. Hop in the rocket and launch using the VAB as an impromptu silo

7. Dock with ISS and wait for zombies to be eradicated.

8. If they are still around after supplies have been depleted, rip some solar panels and radios off (small portions) and shove them into a RV

9. Deorbit and land on a pacific island with a fresh water source and farmable land

10. Survive until the zombies dies off and use the radio to broadcast a distress signal.

[Moon Goddess]

• [li]Grab some friends, make sure at least one is female.[/li]
  [li]....skip...[/li]
  [li]Repopulate the earth[/li]

I think you've missed a lot of very very important steps... presence of female does not automatically equal babies.

[ZedNova]

No matter what my plan is, i'll die in one way or another. Humanity may survive, but i sure as hell won't.