Kerbal History

[The Jeb.]

Y 4608 All dead kerbals respawned, strangely, by the dead kraken soul, he died and eliberated them

We are changed timeline to normal of the normal forever.

[Guest]

4710 : The Kraken is now under control of his powers.

[The Jeb.]

We are changed timeline to normal of the normal forever.

From here we continue

[Souper]

Year 4709: Kerbalkind teams up with the Kraken and manages to militarize hundreds of solar system.

While this song plays: http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=BqJeXWNUEtg

We continue from here. The Jeb is overuled, however, because he's new, and thus isn't reliable when it comes to forum games.

[problemecium]

Kerbal kind has teamed up with the Kraken and militarized space several times before, this is nothing new.

Anyway, back to recordkeeping:

4711: Public surveys show widespread approval of the Floating Point system and so far it has successfully caused a sharp decline in space-based crime. The only issue now is all the orbiting debris those people left behind...

4712: Spider Kerbal is about to save Kerbin city when he is unexpectedly confronted by Dr. Kerbogonapus, a Kerbal enhanced with cybernetic tentacles, who proceeds to fire a huge laser out of his mouth and obliterate Spider Kerbal. Dr. Kerbogonapus then goes on a murderous rampage, jumping out at random and frying unsuspecting civilians with his lazer.

4713: Dr. Kerbogonapus is hired by the Kerbal Space Program and research begins on using his lazer to create a new, more powerful rocket engine. Months of development completely fail, however, and the best the engineers are able to produce is a more powerful but still pitiably wimpy LV-T1.

4715: Kerbal zoologists discover the Kow, an animal which secretes an edible green liquid which comes to be known as "milc".

[Guest]

4716 : Space Tourism prices are lower than ever! Only costing 1312 bucks to go to the KSS (Kerbonational Space Station)

4717 : Antimatter containment on the Kyx Mothership stopped working and destroyed the Shuttle docked to It and the whole thing.... Plus half of Bop....

4718 : A satellite collides with military mini-shuttle "Elysium"

[problemecium]

4719: Kerbin city suffers vast property damages when it is visited by Kerbzilla.

4721: Heisenberg Kerman, star of hit TV series Breaking Boosters, plays a supporting role in a big-budget movie about Kerbzilla.

[Guest]

4722 : Mini-Shuttle Elysium is saved by the KM (Kerbal Military)

4723 : The KSS is blown by debris!

4723.2 : Kessler Syndrome...... 'nuff said.

4724 : Bob Kerman gets hit by debris while recovering Elysium.

4725 : Jeb goes into orbit on "Space Shuttle Resolute" in order to clean up the Kessler.

[teepee2345]

4726: mechjeb whacks jeb and his crew.

[Guest]

4726.1: Jeb smashes Mechjeb.

4726.2: The Shuttle gets hit by debris.

4726.3: Jeb Gets back to Kerbin.

[teepee2345]

4726.1: Jeb smashes Mechjeb.

4726.2: The Shuttle gets hit by debris.

4726.3: Jeb Gets back to Kerbin.

4726.4:mechJeb is repaired and gains feelings

4727:jeb and mechjeb go to war with jar of a substance called drt.

[problemecium]

4728: Jack Kerman, the worst pirate Kerbalkind has ever heard of, swipes the jar of dirt and proceeds to sail away holding it over his head and dancing. He is shortly thereafter apprehended by Davy Kerman, who summons the Kraken.

4728.1: Jeb and MechJeb are forced to join forces against their new enemy, merging to form JebBorg. He proceeds to assimilate Bill and Bob, declaring that resistance is useless. Then he builds a giant cube out of struts and flies off to start his new space empire.

4728.2: The Boris the Animal System is discovered near Kerbol, but its inhabitants insist its name is just the Boris system.

Edited June 3, 2014 by parameciumkid

[problemecium]

This thread shall not die until we reach 5000!

4729: Notch Kerman develops a hit video game known as "MineKraft", which rapidly sucks in millions of players who suddenly find themselves completely devoid of free time. Some Kerbals start wondering if it's possible that somewhere out there in the universe they might discover Minekraftia.

4729.1: KKP develops an online game known as "Gilly Online", a subscription-based MMO about piloting giant spaceships that miraculously don't need more struts and can survive huge explosions.

[WinkAllKerb'']

4730: history is rude, we're not

[Tangle]

4731: Nuclear horses come into the solar system, but there are only 3 and they all crash into Minmus.

[WinkAllKerb'']

4732: resulting beam deflected watchin' for nxt (a color) beam

Edited June 4, 2014 by WinkAllKerb''
*grumpf*

[Tangle]

4732.0000000000000001: Antibeam hits the resulting beam with ants.

[WinkAllKerb'']

4733 a room full of laugh and cry, but you will acommodate yourself quick to that

[problemecium]

4734: After several years of a bunch of rather weird stuff happening, something completely normal happens. So normal, in fact, that historical records don't even note what exactly it is that happened, only that it was very, very normal.

4735: Jack Kerman and Davy Kerman are apprehended and arrested by Beckett Kerman, and the Kraken is released back into the wild. JebBorg finds that while he may have been the hero Kerbin deserved, he wasn't the one it needed at the moment, so he unreconstitutionates himself back into the original Jebediah Kerman and an unusable pile of scrap metal.

4735.1: The pile of scrap metal is salvaged and reconstitutionated into MechJeb 2, an upgraded version of MechJeb better at landing and sporting a much prettier GUI. Meanwhile, clouds are discovered in Kerbin's lower atmosphere.

[Prof. Endwalker]

4735.2: The MechJeb 2 was an outright failure. The malfunction seen commonly causes 400 deaths in the first 10 seconds of being available. The product is immediately destroyed in the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.

[Guest]

4736 : All autopilots are Illiegal as a bill passed by the APC (Allied Provences of Cermia)

4737 : The Kessler cleared up.

4738 : Kirrim becomes the APC Prime Minister after 65 years as a Special Agent and won an election for Cermian Prime Minister.

[Pockrtplanesairways]

4740: Soy-Juice spacecraft and launch stage designed and launched. A total success. Soy-Juice is now the workhorse of the KSP constantly flying kerbals up to the Soylut station.

4741: Lima designed from Soy-Juice as an unmanned supply ship.

[problemecium]

4742: SpaceK develops the Kraken 2, an improved version of their popular "Kraken" space capsule which is now able to carry Kerbals as well as supplies to the KSS and other destinations.

4742.1: The Lima crashes into the Kubble Space Telescope in an unprecedented accident, injuring several Kerbals and forcing Sandra Kerman to EVA to the KSS for rescue. There, she encounters an unoccupied Kraken 2 and dreads the prospect of having to remember all the complicated re-entry procedures required by the original Kraken. Fortunately for her, the Kraken 2 includes a shiny "Land Safely" button, and when she presses it the ship returns safely to Kerbin's surface, rescuing all the other astronauts on the way just because it can. After all, it's a friggin' Kesla in space.

4742.11: THE Kraken sues SpaceK for copyright infringement by using its name without consent. The Supreme Kourt drops the case, partly because the Kerbal legal system does not allow the Kraken to copyright its own name and partly because everyone ran away terrified when the Kraken entered the building.

[Pockrtplanesairways]

Kune 16, 4743: Lima unmanned spacecraft collides with Kirs module on KSS. One of 3 Soy-Juice/Lima ports down for 6 months.

Karch, 4744: Zond becomes the first munar circumnavigation in more than 30 years.

Kuly 7, 4744: Soy-Juice 11 reenters after visiting the Soylut station, and rapidly decompresses, killing the 3 crewmembers, Jack, Jonhat, and Billy Kerman. Soy-Juice completely redesigned. Soy-Juice 7K-T released 3 months later. Carries only 2 in full IVA suits.

EDIT:

4742.1: The Lima crashes into the Kubble Space Telescope in an unprecedented accident, injuring several Kerbals and forcing Sandra Kerman to EVA to the KSS for rescue. There, she encounters an unoccupied Kraken 2 and dreads the prospect of having to remember all the complicated re-entry procedures required by the original Kraken. Fortunately for her, the Kraken 2 includes a shiny "Land Safely" button, and when she presses it the ship returns safely to Kerbin's surface, rescuing all the other astronauts on the way just because it can. After all, it's a friggin' Kesla in space.

Parakid, the Lima is fully unmanned and can't take kerbals. I suggest you change it to the Soy-Juice.

Edited June 6, 2014 by Pockrtplanesairways

[problemecium]

Just because it doesn't contain Kerbals doesn't mean it won't injure anyone. ;P

I was referencing "Gravity", after all, so we can assume there were Kerbals on the scene fixing up the Kubble or something as was the case in the movie.

4745: A box-office thriller titled "Kravity" is released detailing the exploits of Sandra Kerman and her efforts to escape the disaster of 4742. The producers had to take some artistic license, as the actual sequence of events would have made for a very short and boring movie. Critics almost universally agree that "Gravioli" was a much better film.