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Kerbal History


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3975: After a few confusing months, it is found that the secret project indeed did continue. Soon, the technological dividends of the project come through: more knowledge of genetics, machines capable of accurately assembling genes, etc. Finally, the true purpose of the project was revealed: to resurrect ancient beasts and learn more about DNA and how it works.

3977: A second uninhabited island is turned into a secure wildlife preserve, with daily aerial tours provided by private companies. The ancient creatures created by the project are sent here to live normally.

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3978: TREES are found to be the only planet except grass on the Reservat Island (name still to change). Some scientist want to resurrect (?) ancient plants and planet them on the island. But they don't know what to choose, because some may be very poisonous, and they don't know if.

3979: Somebody comes up with and idea to simply resurrect them on another island and test them abit. They do this and find out they aren't really plants. They are something new called "Krystalinis". They are living creatures made from crystal. And therefor they cannot be eaten.

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3980.7: Alan Kerman and Ian Kerman visit Prehistoric Preserve, where they discover that "they bred kraptors". Alan Kerman is very upset about this, while Ian Kerman is unsurprised.

3980.9: The scientists running Prehistoric Preserve unwisely start cloning extinct organisms without first verifying what species they are. They end up resurrecting the extinct mystrigoopian, anomalokerbus, and kerbanderthal, which start breaking out of their pens and causing trouble.

3981: Large numbers of visitors to Prehistoric Preserve are killed and eaten by skorpions.

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3980.7: Alan Kerman and Ian Kerman visit Prehistoric Preserve, where they discover that "they bred kraptors". Alan Kerman is very upset about this, while Ian Kerman is unsurprised.

3980.9: The scientists running Prehistoric Preserve unwisely start cloning extinct organisms without first verifying what species they are. They end up resurrecting the extinct mystrigoopian, anomalokerbus, and kerbanderthal, which start breaking out of their pens and causing trouble.

3981: Large numbers of visitors to Prehistoric Preserve are killed and eaten by skorpions.

3982: These reports are dictated as false, since the Prehistoric Preserve is only accessible via air tours, which don't even land on the island. The air tours themselves are conducted by very reputable companies, which keep their machines up to date with regulations, and are inspected monthly by the govt to make sure they stay that way.

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Flying skorpions. FLYING. SKORPIONS. http://i978.photobucket.com/albums/ae264/smernst/1255708830049.jpg

3982.1: Flying skorpions continue to wreak havoc on visitors. Meanwhile, the mystrigoopian, despite official press statements that it was never resurrected, escapes into the ocean where it begins disrupting the ecosystem and driving large numbers of rare marine species to extinction.

Edited by parameciumkid
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3893: The preserve rangers managed to close the valve of a CO (Carbon Monoxide) tank which is suspected to kill tourists whenever they approach the area of flying skorpions. Also as suddenly as they resurrected, the other creatures died out. Scientists noticed these phenomenon.

3893.3: All skorpions and other existing prehistoric creatures died out. The scientists were surprised that some dubbed the phenomenon a mass extinction.

3893.5: It turns out (from some scuba divers) that the extinct species caused by prehistoric species were never extinct at all. The sale of ResurPowder and NightmaroPowder dropped significantly, much less the shares and stock price (the company that made them is called MagicPowder Co.).

(Alright, let's see you end 4 story lines in 1 day.)

Edited by Designer225
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3894: The ghost of Kerbane returns to haunt the ruins of the old Kerbal Space Center (the one destroyed a while back by the Kraken). He discovers the kube, an ancient extraterrestrial power source that had been buried beneath the VAB for centuries. Unfortunately, as a ghost there is little he can do with it at present.

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3895.1: A community in Dayton, Kerbin, announced that they would "keel da Koogle". Koogle is a company specialized in search engines, as well as the OS system called Kandriod.

3895.2: A neighboring community in Kerbollo, Kerbin, was visited by groups of drama kows.

(Alright, let's see if we can create 4 storylines and end them in 1 KH (Kerbal History) day.

Edited by Designer225
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Year 3900: Kerbals regret not killing the Kau refugees. They discovered schematics for time machines while on Kalifrey. The go back in time and reverse the failures of the Expansion Crusades. Kerbals are enslaved and sent to Wolffy to mine ores. The Kau now control the Kerbol System.

(What a twist! The Kau will not stay defeated!)

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3911: Kuantum physicists postulate that the fundamental structure of spacetime consists of numerous Kalabi-Kau manifolds. Thus many Kau find themselves folded. It is a great kalabity - er, calamity.

3911.364: When time was run in reverse, it caused the ghost of Kerbane to un-die, bringing him back to life. Kerbane makes use of his newly-recovered ability to use ancient alien artifacts and activates the Kube.

3912: Activation of the Kube has resulted in the summoning of Kyubey, who begins making kontracts with teenage kerbals, turning them into Magical Gerbals in exchange for their service fighting against the Kau. Madoka Kerman is tempted by Kyubey, but Homura Kerman constantly gets in the way.

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Year 3900: Kerbals regret not killing the Kau refugees. They discovered schematics for time machines while on Kalifrey. The go back in time and reverse the failures of the Expansion Crusades. Kerbals are enslaved and sent to Wolffy to mine ores. The Kau now control the Kerbol System.

(What a twist! The Kau will not stay defeated!)

You cannot go back in time, as by doing so you enter another dimension where the events preceding the time is void. 2 dimensions of the universe exist now. (KH = original Kerbal History dimension, TM = other dimension)

KH Year 3915: Several kats flew over the sky, dropping grenades for no reason. The neighborhood of Kermini is annoyed.

0101010101001100010101100110101010101100101011101010110101010101000101010010101010101001010101001010

TM Year 3915: The Kube was destroyed as the only Kau in a mech was destroyed by the blast that followed the Kube's destruction.

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Time travel is not against the rules! Asumwindyman time-traveled a lot, so why can't I?

I am carrying on from the Kau time-travel thing.

Year 3913: The Kau begin a Galactic expansion Crusade. They also go to Jool and take a quarter of the planet's Gas and add it to Wolffy extending it's life by 10 Million years.

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Alright then, since you time-traveled to change history, I'll do the same thing...

Year 3915: A Kau found the time machine in Kalifrey and went through it for some reason. Now the Kerbals controlled the Kerbol System as the Kau exits the time machine hole. As the Kau attempted to travel back, it is busted and the Kau is stuck in time hole forever.

Year 3916: The Kerbal scientists' attempts to find a way to travel to any time ended in utter failures. The most famous of the attempts were Kerbals using Eeloo ice to power the thing. It temporarily blinded several scientists for 12 years.

Year 3917: The Kerbals launched a crusade to subjugate the Kau. Well... peacefully. The first 100 armed diplomats are sent to the star known as Kepler-22, where there are some 500 thousand Kau refugees.

Year 3917.2: A Kerbal exploration ship find the Voyager 1 spacecraft, estimated to have travelled 250 AU from the launch location. The ship began to travel toward the location.

Edited by Designer225
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TM 3918: Yuno Kerman and eleven other Kerbals are challenged to a survival game in which they have to use their kellular phones to predict the future and track each other down. She eventually wins, and in so doing becomes the new Kerbal god of spacetime. However, her lover is accidentally killed and she has to break the Fifth Wall in order to save him, in so doing destroying the universe.

KH 3918: Nero Kerman uses Green Matter to create a wormhole to travel to arbitrary points in spacetime. He destroys the Kau homeworld and attempts to destroy Kerbin, but is foiled by the efforts of a certain Kerbal space captain and his first mate. Green Matter technology is reverse-engineered to create a spacetime un-modifying device that works through a principle known to Kerbal physicists as "hax". The first test of the new un-modifier results in the destruction of the universe.

TM 3918.1 (ruined universe): Homura Kerman uses the time manipulation powers given to her by Kyubey to travel to a time before the great spacetime rift occurred.

KH 3918.1 (other ruined universe): Haruhi Kerman becomes bored and recreates the universe the way it was before the great spacetime rift.

3918.2: The actions of Yuno Kerman, Nero Kerman, Homura Kerman, and Haruhi Kerman cause the two universes to be un-riftificatizationulated, recombobulating into a single unified universe. The only downside is that the Kraken is resurrected. Also, Dentarthurdent Kerman decides to leave the Kerbal universe and become an interdimensional space traveler aboard the Heart of Kraken, an experimental ship based on an infinite incomprehensibility drive.

[People ARE catching all my references, right?]

Edited by parameciumkid
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Time travel is not against the rules! Asumwindyman time-traveled a lot, so why can't I?

I am carrying on from the Kau time-travel thing.

Year 3913: The Kau begin a Galactic expansion Crusade. They also go to Jool and take a quarter of the planet's Gas and add it to Wolffy extending it's life by 10 Million years.

but my time traveling didn't completely alter the time stream!

all right, this ends NOW!

KH 3920: All of the time traveling and event changing puts a strain on the space time continuum. As a result, an insane paradox occurs that rids the universe of the Kau, their time machines, and the TM universe. Everything goes back to normal, with the kerbal vessel beginning its long voyage to find the home world of the Voyager 1.

3921: The kerbal ship finds the planet in witch they think the Voyager 1 originates. It seems more like the voyager received a gravity assist, which brought it to their system.

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3921.6: The exploration ship is ripped apart by the Kraken. Oh well. Looks like we'll never be rid of this thing ;P

3922: Astronomers across Kerbin start reporting sightings of a huge cloud of what looks like fuel expanding through space. Judging by its mind-boggling size, many are fairly sure it will reach Kerbin in the next few years, and shortly thereafter induce a high enough concentration of fuel in Kerbin's atmosphere that it will become unbreathable, forcing all Kerbals to wear space suits 24/7 for the foreseeable future. Governments are skeptical of these speculations and publicly deny their validity, but secretly begin work on a secret government project to mass-produce space suits.

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3923: Kraken for no real reason feels bad for doing this and stops the fuel cloud from expanding. Then he rebuilds the ship. Then he comes back to kerbin and says "Sorry" to Kerbals and goes to bed. Some Kerbal just say "What the hell the fook was that i don't understand helpmewhatiswrongwithkrakenithinkhehassomeserioushealthproblemsmaybeheisonkvodkaormaybehetooksomedrugswhathappenedtohimwhyheissorryijustcan'tunderstandmymindisblownhelp."

3924: Some Kerbals make a theory it wasn;t really kraken and it was actually kod that wanted to stop Kraken from kiling Kerbals. One year of praying to the greatness of kod starts.

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3927: Another Kerboexploration ship departed toward what was known to Kerbals as G5. It is scheduled to arrive later this year, to uncover the unknown solar system.

3927.11: The exploration ship arrived in the solar system (well, to us humans, THE Solar System). They are ready to uncover the secret Voyager 1 have brought.

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Year 3940: Kau captured during the wars broke out of the prisons on Kerbin and fled to space. They establish contact with the 'humans' and told them the Kerbals are not to be trusted. Humans declare war on the Kerbals shortly after they arrive.

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