Funny Interactive

[Altair1371]

Ok, this one will be a snowball story. I\'ll start a story, and then you quote the last chapter, and post your own!

Rules:

You have to keep the story fluidish. If someone leaves a sentence open, finish it!

Please use proper grammar, no 'omg teh bombs did tha boom!'

Quote the last chapter, in case a conversation or argument happened in between.

Please try to keep some decency. I\'m okay with a little mature content, but don\'t turn this into some erotic story, ok?

Other than that, go nuts!

The alarms wake you up, as they do everyday. You open your eyes to see the familiar green man, Jebediah Kerman, at your door.

'Wake up kid, we\'re getting briefed.'

You change out your jumpsuit, and head for the briefing room. As it is with every mission, Jeb is arguing with the engineers about the lack of boosters on the design. You salute your flight commander, and sit down.

'I see you\'re awake now, Jim. This mission, as you know, is go to the

[Epsilon]

'I see you\'re awake now, Jim. This mission, as you know, is go to the

'...launch pad and ride that red metal looking thing up to the top of this big rocket here.

Then you must get in a press the big red button. Not the blue one, the red one.'

You immediately do such, and push the button. Absolutely nothing happens.

'Epsilon-1 to ground ...

[semininja]

'Epsilon-1 to ground ...

'...what was supposed to-' WHOOM!!

You\'re flattened back into your seat, only to find yourself unnervingly weightless a few seconds later as the ground suddenly tries to stare you down. You stare back blankly, comprehension long since having flown out the hatch rattling behind you...

[mincespy]

'...what was supposed to-' WHOOM!!

You\'re flattened back into your seat, only to find yourself unnervingly weightless a few seconds later as the ground suddenly tries to stare you down. You stare back blankly, comprehension long since having flown out the hatch rattling behind you...

After 10 seconds of flight, there is an immense \'BOOM\' as the SRB\'s are jettisoned. The liquid fuel engines kick in and you are flatenned into your seat even more. Then, suddenly, a screen on the dashboard starts flashing and then turns on. It\'s Jeb, playing the role of ground control! 'Okay kid' he says...

[Goddess Bhavani]

After 10 seconds of flight, there is an immense \'BOOM\' as the SRB\'s are jettisoned. The liquid fuel engines kick in and you are flatenned into your seat even more. Then, suddenly, a screen on the dashboard starts flashing and then turns on. It\'s Jeb, playing the role of ground control! 'Okay kid' he says...

'... why don\'t you just sit back and enjoy the ride; Ol\' Harv was working on that newfangled \'autopilot\' of his the whole night, it\'s set to take you to a stable 100 kilometer orbit, just as the forum guy insisted!'

You could only grunt in reply, mashed down against your rattling seat, eyes affixed like glue to the G-force meter as it exceeded 6, 7....

Outside, the almost comical sapphire blue sky had given way to a blanket of darkness.

'... have no idea if you\'re familiar with the new 'NASA' rations but there\'s some freeze dried neapolitan ice cream....'

You wonder what made Jeb so cheerful today, perhaps, that autopilot of Harv\'s left him with naught to do but transmit nonsense as always.

'... what\'s that? Smoke trail from oxidizer tank No. 2...' You struggle to hear what was that which caused cheerful Jeb to squeak like a mouse, and then the soft lighting of the instrument panels give way to an angry crimson hue as entire master caution panels blushed with news of impending faliure. The all too familiar sense of helpless dread shivers up your spine as a jarring vibration shakes the capsule, then the acceleration abruptly stops. In a few moments, the massive rocket had halted its triumphant ascent into the heavens, and was now plummeting rapidly towards the ocean.

Your breakfast cruelly churned by the onset of positive, negative and all sorts of Gs, all you could do was mash down the XMIT button to recite these familar words well known in the Space Cadet program, 'KERBAL, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!'

[Phoxtane]

Your breakfast cruelly churned by the onset of positive, negative and all sorts of Gs, all you could do was mash down the XMIT button to recite these familar words well known in the Space Cadet program, 'KERBAL, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!'

'...No, that\'s normal.'

You contemplate these words for a second, and then decide that you don\'t care; after all, you are plummeting towards the ground at well over 1,000m/s. Realizing how much energy that is, you also come to the realization that the capsule has no heat tiles, and should thus burn up in the resulting atmospheric friction.

As if to punctuate that thought, Jeb comes on the com again:

'There\'s two things that could happen; either your parachute works, and we bring a boat out to you, or you just barely hit the water at the same time the pod catches fire. I\'m hoping for the latter cause it saves having to lug an extra extinguisher out with us.'

[Gojira]

'...No, that\'s normal.'

You contemplate these words for a second, and then decide that you don\'t care; after all, you are plummeting towards the ground at well over 1,000m/s. Realizing how much energy that is, you also come to the realization that the capsule has no heat tiles, and should thus burn up in the resulting atmospheric friction.

As if to punctuate that thought, Jeb comes on the com again:

'There\'s two things that could happen; either your parachute works, and we bring a boat out to you, or you just barely hit the water at the same time the pod catches fire. I\'m hoping for the latter cause it saves having to lug an extra extinguisher out with us.'

'Screw that! I\'m deploying the chute! I DON\'T WANNA DIE!'

[SteevyT]

'Screw that! I\'m deploying the chute! I DON\'T WANNA DIE!'

You frantically search the capsule for the parachute deploy. However, being the third redesign this week that is much easier said than done. You begin scanning the control board, which appears to literally be a board with some buttons on it.

[trbinsc]

After what seemed like an eternity of searching, you finally locate a switch labeled 'Chute'. You hit it and a large orange and yellow object, that felt like tissue paper, filled the cabin.

[Goddess Bhavani]

After what seemed like an eternity of searching, you finally locate a switch labeled 'Chute'. You hit it and a large orange and yellow object, that felt like tissue paper, filled the cabin.

Unfazed by the sudden onset of what seemed like lavender perfume, you frantically stuff the tissue paper where it came from, or at least tried, all the while in zero gravity as the capsule continued to plummet towards the ocean and now began to flipp end over end following a horrendous metallic groan of the command capsule tearing itself free of the service module\'s decoupler.

Suddenly your eyes spot an especially large red button, from which a soothing red pulsating glow emanated from it.

It says 'Don\'t Panic'.

[mincespy]

Unfazed by the sudden onset of what seemed like lavender perfume, you frantically stuff the tissue paper where it came from, or at least tried, all the while in zero gravity as the capsule continued to plummet towards the ocean and now began to flipp end over end following a horrendous metallic groan of the command capsule tearing itself free of the service module\'s decoupler.

Suddenly your eyes spot an especially large red button, from which a soothing red pulsating glow emanated from it.

It says 'Don\'t Panic'.

You press the button, and the top of the hatch is torn off with a massive roar. Your seat shoots out, propelled by rocket engines. Jeb comes through on your little walkie-talkie, which has a screen and some buttons. \'Okay Kid\' he says. 'You are taking part in my newest experiment.' You freeze in terror the second you hear those words. 'Now' Jeb says 'You may want to put your space helmet back on to complete your spacesuit. You\'ll need it.' 'WHAT?!' you scream back, gripped by sheer terror. 'Just do it.' he says. You do as instructed. After 100 seconds of upward flight, the engines shut off. You dare to open your eyes to find that the sky ain\'t blue anymore. You look down, and find that you are in space, having got up there just using your rocket-propelled seat, which is now out of fuel. You press the button with 'RCS OFF/ROT/LIN' on it, and the RCS turns on. Using some buttons on the side of your seat, you can now move around. Jeb comes through on the walkie-talkie. You can see his image moving on the screen, but there is no sound because you are in space. You find a little hatch on the side of the walkie talkie, and open it. A USB cable floats out. You plug it into a USB port in your spacesuit, and you can hear Jeb once again. 'Nice one kid. The experiment was successful. Now, you may want to make your way to the space station before your oxygen runs out. You have 20 hours.' 'Right.' you say.You find some tape in your space suit pocket and decide to tape the walkie talkie to your arm, so you don\'t have to worry about your only form of communications drifting off and you having to waste RCS fuel recovering it. You find a small fuel tank on the side of the seat, and attach it to the main fuel tank of your seat. You rotate the seat into position, and prepare to make the orbital rexvendous. The engines fire. After 2 hours, the station is in sight. You estimate you\'ll reach it in 30 minutes, and send them a signal to get the airlock ready so you can haul yourself and your seat in when you reach it. While waiting to reach the station, you decide you quite like being in space so you decide to unstrap yourself from your seat and float around a bit. After 20 minutes, you decide you\'re done. You\'re about to enter the airlock. The doors open, and you drift in. They close. The airlock is then pressurised. The inner doors open. 'Welcome to the station' Jeb says.

[SteevyT]

You press the button, and the top of the hatch is torn off with a massive roar. Your seat shoots out, propelled by rocket engines. Jeb comes through on your little walkie-talkie, which has a screen and some buttons. \'Okay Kid\' he says. 'You are taking part in my newest experiment.' You freeze in terror the second you hear those words. 'Now' Jeb says 'You may want to put your space helmet back on to complete your spacesuit. You\'ll need it.' 'WHAT?!' you scream back, gripped by sheer terror. 'Just do it.' he says. You do as instructed. After 100 seconds of upward flight, the engines shut off. You dare to open your eyes to find that the sky ain\'t blue anymore. You look down, and find that you are in space, having got up there just using your rocket-propelled seat, which is now out of fuel. You press the button with 'RCS OFF/ROT/LIN' on it, and the RCS turns on. Using some buttons on the side of your seat, you can now move around. Jeb comes through on the walkie-talkie. You can see his image moving on the screen, but there is no sound because you are in space. You find a little hatch on the side of the walkie talkie, and open it. A USB cable floats out. You plug it into a USB port in your spacesuit, and you can hear Jeb once again. 'Nice one kid. The experiment was successful. Now, you may want to make your way to the space station before your oxygen runs out. You have 20 hours.' 'Right.' you say.You find some tape in your space suit pocket and decide to tape the walkie talkie to your arm, so you don\'t have to worry about your only form of communications drifting off and you having to waste RCS fuel recovering it. You find a small fuel tank on the side of the seat, and attach it to the main fuel tank of your seat. You rotate the seat into position, and prepare to make the orbital rexvendous. The engines fire. After 2 hours, the station is in sight. You estimate you\'ll reach it in 30 minutes, and send them a signal to get the airlock ready so you can haul yourself and your seat in when you reach it. While waiting to reach the station, you decide you quite like being in space so you decide to unstrap yourself from your seat and float around a bit. After 20 minutes, you decide you\'re done. You\'re about to enter the airlock. The doors open, and you drift in. They close. The airlock is then pressurised.

The inner doors open. 'Welcome to the station' Jeb says.

'Wait, how\'d you.....? You were....? Why....?' After half a minute of stammering you finally ask, 'How the hell did you get up here?'

[Luigibro606]

You can almost feel Jeb\'s grin beaming through the radio.

'Don\'t worry kid, I got my own ways.'

[Tim_Barrett]

You can almost feel Jeb\'s grin beaming through the radio.

'Don\'t worry kid, I got my own ways.'

Jeb proceeds to put his shades on, and staples them to his cheekbones.

[SteevyT]

Jeb proceeds to put his shades on, and staples them to his cheekbones.

And right about here is where you pass out....again.

[Gojira]

After what feels like days (was it?) you hear Jeb say, 'Okay kid, time to come back down.'

'NOT. A. FUCKING. GAIN.' You say in frustration.

[SteevyT]

Jeb simply says, 'You\'ll get to use a state-of-the art emergency deorbiting system. Perfectly safe.'

[trbinsc]

'However, it requires that you seal yourself inside a plastic bag and fill it with spray foam.'

[Epsilon]

'And a little propulsion system as well'

You do such, keeping all your spacesuit equipment on because you doubt that this bag will stay sealed. They zip it up, and you can\'t hear anything but a few noises. You reach over, unclip the foamer device, and hit

[DISPERSE]

In a few milliseconds, the bag is filled. Jeb and co stick the propulsion device on (a rather small but clearly antimatter operated booster, with no stabilization).

Instead of going out the airlock, you are stuffed into disposal chute 1 for a quicker departure.

[Goddess Bhavani]

All seems silent amid the sphere of packing foam, but via the station intercom connected to your helmet\'s iPhone you can hear evidence of activity from the command centre...

'... armed, interlocks engaged'

'should make some pretty good fireworks, this charge'

'Uploading solution from TDC now. Set tubes 1 to 3 for full peanut butter spread, 4 milirads dispersal'

'Red alert, shields up'

Before you could even think about the obvious television references, you hear Jeb\'s excited yelling over the command circuit'

'FIRE PHOTON TORPEDOES!'

You must have passed out for a while, because before you loomed the vast grey expanse of the Munar surface...

[Altair1371]

You must have passed out for a while, because before you loomed the vast grey expanse of the Munar surface...

You try to spin around, but this 'capsule' (if you could even call it that) has not directional control, all you have is this antimatter engine you\'re holding onto. You activate it, and the rocket spins you in every direction. After what seems like hours, the fuel runs out, and you take a look around. Huh, it seems that the burn has now sent you into a spiraling plummet to the Mun.

[Epsilon]

Jeb comes on the speaker within a few minutes

'Well the bad news is that we have absolutely no idea how to get you back besides the obvious boring solution, but on the bright side, you\'re going to the moon where you will go into orbit/land... we\'re not sure. The NES we are reading your telemetry off of glitched up when the malfunction occurred, and everything was bugged.'

[Altair1371]

Jeb comes on the speaker within a few minutes

'Well the bad news is that we have absolutely no idea how to get you back besides the obvious boring solution, but on the bright side, you\'re going to the moon where you will go into orbit/land... we\'re not sure. The NES we are reading your telemetry off of glitched up when the malfunction occurred, and everything was bugged.'

You reply 'Well, I can see the surface coming closer, and I\'m not moving laterally, so I must be crashing/landing' Jeb calls back 'Well, congratulations! You\'re gonna be the first Kerbal on the Mun!'

[SteevyT]

You reply 'Well, I can see the surface coming closer, and I\'m not moving laterally, so I must be crashing/landing' Jeb calls back 'Well, congratulations! You\'re gonna be the first Kerbal on the Mun!'

You reply, 'Don\'t you mean in the Mun?!'

[Epsilon]

Upon impact, the foam actually does it\'s job and cushions your impact, so it feels as though you are falling into a nice fluffy pillow. Unfortunately the bag was nothing more than plastic you would find in a ziploc, and it bursted open. Perhaps that antimatter engine blew some stuff up... yes, you can see singed foam and a dark burn mark on the crater you left. Good thing you had a spacesuit on!

While hundreds of little fragments of foam fly high up, and gently flutter back down, you stand up to examine the surroundings.