Survive That Attack!

[Sampa]

I duck in the nick of time, narrowly dodging the nose gear which sailed harmlessly past me.

I build several Death Star battle stations and move to destroy the planet the next poster is on.

[Prof. Endwalker]

I fire multiple shots into all of the exhaust pipes, and slowly walk away, put on glasses, and let the explosions behind me continue as the next poster is teleported on to the last Death Star 10 seconds before it explodes.

[TonyC]

I make a Myst book and get into it to shield myself from an attack that never happened.

I get out of it after some time and start building the Crucible (to ram it onto stuff, of course).

[Sesni]

I teleport away from the crucible 0.0001 seconds before it would ram me.

The next user is buried in a landfill.

[Sampa]

It was not my physical form, just a really good hologram...

The next person will spontaneously combust.

[megatiger78]

I am standing next to the next poster

[Sesni]

I step away as soon as Megatiger catches on fire.

The next user is in the middle of a civil war in the Middle East.

[CelticCossack51]

I ran away as fast as possible and caught a ride on a low flying UAV.

The next poster is in a mob of Vancouver Canucks fans.

[Noname117]

My solution is called a jetpack and a flamethrower. It is pretty effective.

The next poster was standing behind me, and he/she is about to be mobbed by flaming Canucks fans.

[Sesni]

My solution is called tear gas. It is pretty effective.

The next poster is trapped inside a twenty inch unobtanium box.

[megatiger78]

it is inside me.

next poster haunted by the ghosts of the kionicles

[Prof. Endwalker]

Prof. Endwalker used Silph Scope! It made it possible to fight ghosts!

The next poster is Water-Rock and I use Solar Beam! It is charging up!

[Sesni]

My trainer returns me and sends in Infernape.

The user below me is locked in a room with no food or water.

[megatiger78]

I do not need it.

the next person has been in a similar room for 5 years and does need the stuff

[teepee2345]

i have a water bottle and and a sandwich in my pockets.

the next poster is hit by a Minuteman-lll Nuclear ICBM.

[Kinglet]

I have a energy converter, and set it to turn radiation, pressure and heat into electricity for a giant purple satellite reflected laser.

I set the satellite to reflect the giant purple laser at the next user. It is so powerful that it melts mirrors.

[Sampa]

Raise my personal shields at that last minute.

The next person is injured by the blast.

[Kinglet]

But then I fatally injure the blast.

The next person eats a mystery pill with harm guarantee.

[Vaporo]

The mystery pill does exactly two magic damage, reducing my hp from 4082 to 4080. I quickly regenerate.

The next poster is abducted by malevolent aliens.

[Souper]

i manage to escape their Mexican clutches, and flee back to america (you did say they were aliens, right)

The next poster is a Kerbal playing Human War Program and decides to re-enact it in real life. The other Kerbals hate you so much for being violent, they decide to kill you. To death. For EVER.

[Sampa]

I activate a memory eraser so they all forget why they were going after me (I escape the mob).

The Next person gets dropped into lava.

[InterCity]

*engaging pocket force field generator...*

The user below me is struck by a russian nuke.

[Sesni]

I teleported away 0.00001 seconds before it detonated.

The next user is sacraficed to Danny

[Captain Sierra]

I inherit kerbal-like elasticity and cannot be destroyed by his malevolent creations.

The next user is sacrificed to the kraken.

[KerBlam]

My persistence file was backed up, and the Kraken chokes on 64bit linux and foams out, drowning the next poster in kraken foam.