Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Kinglet]

You created a paradox. Now read all those scary theories about what should happen now and wait until some of them become true.

I wish for baked goods.

[Tery215]

Granted. You are forced to give them to your alien overlords. We don't eat baked goods in this household, boy!

I wish for the tardis to turn into something more interesting.

[cantab]

Granted. It's the Master's TARDIS and it turns into an exact duplicate of you, that imprisons you within its very literal bowels and steals your identity.

I wish signatures didn't get clipped on the forums.

[Kinglet]

Granted. People get massive 1000 x 1000 sigs and put flashy MLP gifs everywhere.

I wish the forum to get a new section.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. It is the MLP section.

I wish the forum had fewer subforums.

[Guest Fyre Flare]

Granted! There are no subforums.

I wish I had a pilgrim hat for my Flareon.

[Guest]

granted. but it magically vanishs as soon as your flareon gets it.

I wish to be father time. and to magically reverse age.

[Tery215]

Granted. You magically reverse time itself 2 minutes after I grant your wish. You are incapable of anything but backwards until before I grant your wish, but in all temporal existences you only get one wish.

I wish for one fish per pixel.

[Redrobin]

Granted, but there is only one pixel.

I wish for tuna.

[cantab]

Granted. But your tin openers break trying to open it.

I wish for some explosively tenderised steak.

[Tery215]

Granted. It's charred paste now, and tastes terrible.

I wish that explosions could be used to emphasize food quality.

[Overfloater]

Granted. Food companies now try their best to make all their food explosive. What did you do that for?

I wish giraffes were plain green.

[cantab]

Granted. So's the sky, making giraffes a leading cause of fatal road accidents in South Africa, which also happens to be where you now live.

I wish my rescue ship would enter Munar orbit.

[Overfloater]

Granted, but I don't see what good will it do, it just got Oberthed by the Mun out of the solar system. (It can't usually do this, but today it felt extra generous)

I wish it took me less than 30 seconds to give myself a perfect shave.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. You are now completely bald everywhere.

I wish electric shavers worked well for me.

[Tery215]

Granted. Your electric shavers are the only working ones in a post-apocalyptic (solar flare happened) world, and the zombies want them.

I wish for a pair of eyes.

[cantab]

Granted. They're those floating eye monsters common in fantasy and they kill you.

I wish I had more chicken, but not too much more.

[turkwinif]

Wish granted. Leeroy Jenkins is delivering the chicken, but it's in pink-paste nugget form.

I wish I had a Jebediah Kerman action figure.

[LABHOUSE]

Granted, you are one million usd poorer.

I wish I could think of a wish.

[temporalExile]

Granted. However, the wish you come up with is terrible.

I wish to meet Jebediah Kerman in person (and alive), and to spend at least an hour with him, without anything bad Oocuring.

[cantab]

Granted. After the hour's interview you're escorted away from KSC and must set up home on Kerbin, so far from the space centre you cannot even see the rocket launches, and never to see another human or Kerbal again.

I wish for cookies.

[Tery215]

Granted. The cookies are so good that your house becomes a sphere surrounding your cookies.

I wish to turn houses into cubes.

[Guest]

Granted,but it backfires and it actually turns houses into rockets to blow up as soon as you shake your head because,that is the start button.

I wish that i had a pirate ship that never sank.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted.

I wish I didn't have to work on Saturdays but could keep my job.

[WinkAllKerb'']

granted.

i wish i could pass to answer ric.