Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Boosterspice]

Granted, that's the only thing you can do better know.

I wish the cake was not a lie

[vexx32]

Granted, but it's poisoned.

I wish the next person to post will walk on thin ice.

[Lord_Potato]

Granted, the ice is on a sidewalk.

I wish for more potatoes.

[Helix935]

granted,most are eaten by crows and the ones that are left become glados and start dispensing neurotoxin

i wish for being in possession of about 10 pounds of moon rocks contained within a clear jar

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted, but apparently ground-up moon rocks are pure poison, and you are deathly ill.

I wish for a big fat dictionary.

[plainawesome]

Granted. But that's what she said, although you do still get a big fat "dictionary"

I wish I was better at KSP.

[vexx32]

Granted, but you become unable to perform mundane tasks like eating and drinking, and eventually die.

I wish for a christmas present.

[Boosterspice]

Granted, it's coal

I wish I could create plasma

[plainawesome]

Granted, it shocks you, then you die.

I wish for a twinkie.

[quasarrgames]

Granted. It's so unhealthy you die shortly after eating it.

I wish for a slice of pristine chocolate cake. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

[Noname117]

Granted, but it comes with a 50% chance of being poisoned, and a 0% chance of being a lie (that's a lie)

I wish these posts counted towards my total post count.

[Designer225]

Granted, the mods are probably hacking you.

I wish for the same thing as the above user.

[vexx32]

Granted, you get a postcard entitled "same thing as the above user."

I wish for a bottle of rum.

[Starwhip]

Granted. The bottle's made of uranium, and you die of radiation poisoning.

I wish that Tekkit wasn't so addicting.

[ProjectXMark1]

Granted, you are now bored.

I wish for the damn NSA to keep their noses out of my 1 acre micronation!

[KittyProgram]

Granted, but it explodes. (I don't understand the question)

I wish for all Kerbals to be kittens.

[quasarrgames]

Granted. They chew off all the wiring of your spacecraft, they shed everywhere, and they expect you to comfort them when all they give you back is scratches on your eyeball.

I wish santa was real

[Designer225]

Granted, but his reindeers don't fly. (Only bats fly, right?)

I wish the above user's ASCII can be animated.

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

Granted. It is animated so bad, you die

I wish for potato

[Fox Arcana]

Granted, GLaDOS was a potato, so technically that counts?

I wish for the above user's signature to make sense

[Halsfury]

I wish for the above user's signature to make sense

Granted, you can make sense of it but, before long you are locked up as a lunatic

I wish for sleep

[Boosterspice]

Granted, it's eternal.

I wish that school would close

[Noname117]

Granted, but it doesn't for winter vacation and doesn't for weekends. It also doesn't let you out on regular days. You have to wait until summer to have it close for a week.

[vexx32]

Grant-

[ERR] No wish was received. (Error code 24).

[LOG] Inputting random wish corruption factor.

[LOG] End result: noname117 is transported to the heart of a volcano.

[WRN] noname117 is being burned alive. Retrieve? (Y/N)

[iNP] "N"

[LOG] noname117 becomes part of the seething pool of magma and soon ceases to exist.

I wish people would utilise their memories better.

[TheCanadianVendingMachine]

Granted. But they only rememeber being inside their mothers womb

I wish for 128 bit systems