Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Floppster]

Granted, you will never have to answer Rick.

...wait, what?

I wish for dramatic music.

[Kinglet]

I am the musician. I get all the notes wrong, get frustrated and walk away.

I wish for a uncorrupted, safe floppy disk with safe virus less content.

[cantab]

Granted. It's in a format that no computer still working can read.

I wish England could win at rugby.

[Slam_Jones]

Granted, but only because they played against America.

I wish I could live off of only donuts and coffee for the rest of my life.

[Mr_Brain]

Granted, the rest of your life is the few months before you die of malnutrition.

I wish I had awesome sci-fi technology.

[Guest]

granted. but the technology backfires on you and creates the robot invasion!

I wish that every world problem was solved. and bad hackers were gone,trollers were gone,everything badguy-ish stuff was gone.

[Tery215]

Granted. Everybody who uses the internet is gone.

I wish for a new boat.

[Mr_Brain]

Granted. It later turns out that the boat was stolen from a boat vendor. You are put in prison.

I wish for an orbital death ray under my control.

[Tery215]

Granted. It can only kill a flea or two at a time.

I wish for a folding machine.

[zekes]

Granted. It can only kill a flea or two at a time.

I wish for a folding machine.

Granted. You get a folding machine, that is designed for the sole purpose of folding itself.

I wish for an Empire.

[AeroAviation]

Granted. But you are quickly overthrown and executed by your own people.

I wish for a Death Star to wreak havoc across the Kerbol System!

[zekes]

Granted. But you are quickly overthrown and executed by your own people.

I wish for a Death Star to wreak havoc across the Kerbol System!

Granted, but it's actually gilly painted to look like a death star, and it can't move.

I wish to travel to europe.

[Tery215]

Granted. Europe was molten down and put into a mold of America already.

I wish for a planet painting tool.

[Master Tao]

Granted. It's a literal paintbrush the size of the Mun.

I wish for more interesting snacks.

[AeroAviation]

Granted, but they are poisonous.

I wish for a time machine.

[Overfloater]

Granted, you get a tardis. Without the instruction manual.

You start tampering with all the gizmos and end up on a collision trajectory with a star

I wish camels had light reflectors on them. Those things are deadly, and very hard to spot at night!

[Ikaneko]

Granted.

You get hit by a rhino at night.

I wish that the UK space programme was never closed down.

[Overfloater]

Granted. All British citizens are now slaves, so there's no problem funding the space program

I wish rhinos had light deflectors as well. (even though there aren't any in my country, just in case)

[Ikaneko]

Granted. You get hit by a crocodile

(I believe we have ourselves an australian (I think, please don't be offended))

I wish I could build SSTOs as well as Overfloater

[Overfloater]

Granted, now you make SSTO as good as Overfloater does, with FAR!

(I should have warned you though, when i installed FAR I realized I suck at flying O_O)

crocodile

It's OK, they aren't a threat, they probably just get squished.

I wish all the camels in my country were replaced with crocodiles.

[Tery215]

Granted. However, the camels turn into 2 halves of crocodiles due to a bug in the CTRL-H function.

I wish for a spoon capable of twisting time and space.

[Mr_Brain]

Granted. It twists time and space in a way that kills you.

I wish for a backpack full of tasty chocolate.

[Prof. Endwalker]

Granted. It melts.

I wish for a 40 meter tall cat.

[cantab]

Granted. Unlike the famed longcat, yours gets its height from spindly legs. Which promptly break, leaving the cat in agony and you with a choice between a huge vets bill or having it put down.

I wish for free tasty non-poisonous pizza.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. It has anchovies and pineapple on it.

I wish I could play piano well.