2019: A Jebedian Odyssey

[Johnster_Space_Program]

So yeah I want to make a movie in ksp called 2019: A Jebedian Odyssey and all I have for it so far is the script for the prologue and chapter 1. Tell me what you think and what changes I should make below!

PROLOGUE:

The Year: 1999
Date: August 5
Location: Kerbal Space Center, At The Launchpad

The large rocket stands tall on the pad as a light breeze blows over at the crack of dawn. Jebediah, Bill, and a
few other kerbals are preparing to launch on the first mission of Gene's brilliantly named project, The Grand Tour.
The mission, which will happen over several launches, with this one, the Munar Minmus Exploration Mission I (or
MEM I), will go on a grand tour of the kerbol system. By landing on every planet and moon possible at the end of
the mission and returning home to kerbin on the final mission. And, if possible, intersect and refuel at an asteroid
or two. The first launch in the mission, MMEM I, will land Jebediah, Bill, and the aforementioned kerbals on The Mun
before going and landing on Minmus, and then hopefully succesfully return back to Kerbin. But...

Chapter 1:

ACT 1 - THE LAUNCH

Gene Kerman: T-5 minutes to launch. How's everything going?
Jebediah Kerman: Me, Bill, and Bob are good, finished fueling tanks on MMEM I.
Gene: T-200 Seconds. Bill, are the fuel cells recharged?
Bill Kerman: Yes, its great to be on this mission with you guys.
Gene: T-60 seconds. Bob, did you pack the snacks?
Bob Kerman: No, but i got TV Dinners!
Jeb and Bill: Bob! Ok, TV dinners will do. Good thing we brought some extra heaters.
Gene: T-10 seconds. Prepare for liftoff!
Jeb: I Can't wait to get this mission started!
Gene: T-5,4,3,2,1... We have liftoff!
Gene: Looking Good Jebediah Kerman, T+10 seconds.
Jeb: I think i can already see space from here. This is great! But...

ACT 2 - FLASHBACK

2 Years Earlier: July 4, 1997

Gene: I'm thinking of doing something...
Gene: Something Bold...
Werhner Von Kerman: Like what?
Gene: A new project... better than previous ones...
Werhner: Even better than Kerpollo 11 in 1989 and the Koyager Program?
Gene: Yes, better than that.
Gene: Remember when we launched the koyager 1,2, and 3 missions on a great tour of the
eveian, joolian, and dunian systems?
Werhner: Yes, i helped design Koyager 2, which flew past the Jool System on June 5, 1993, one year after launch...
Gene: Well, i want to do that, but with kerbals and we would land on every planet and moon possible over several
launches in the project.
Gene: I will call it, the Grand Tour Project!
Werhner: Great, we shall begin development immediately!

ACT 3 - FROM KERBIN ORBIT

Bill: You ever see anything like that before?
Jeb: Yes, Bill. It's amazing. Kerbin in all her glory.
Gene: Prepare For TMI
Jeb: So, i can't wait to get to the Mun, but i'm worried...
Bill: Why?
Jeb: I think im just being paranoid, but im worried something bad will happen.
Bill: Oh, you are just being paranoid, just don't think about it.
Jeb: Okay
Gene: Start Trans-Munar Injection Burn Now!
Bob: I can feel the power of the engine behind us, its amazing!
Gene: Ok, burn is complete, see you soon...
Jeb: We're off to The Mun, and Kerbin is already getting smaller.
Jeb: Mission Control, we will see you again tommorow when are about halfway there, at T+18 hours into mission.
Jeb: I just hope my suspicions aren't right...

I think this is good so far but if I should change anything tell me below!

[Johnster_Space_Program]

What do you think?