TheTsar52

God dam commies! Waiter! There's bacon in my soup!

But there's no interrupting the Tsar! (Look at dat name!) TSAR CANNON! ACTIVATE!

Granted. But to have our ship shipped to you, cost extra shipping because it has to be carried on a ship shipping ships shipping ships. I wish for bacon.

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says......... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. It's bacon, I think." "Si, Luis, it sure smells like bacon. " With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... Every imaginable kind of cured pork. "Pepe, Pepe, we it's saved. It's a bacon tree." "Luis, maybe it's a mirage? We is in the desert don't forget." "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a mirage that smell like bacon...it's no mirage, it's a bacon tree." And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 meters, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath, "Pepe... Go back man, you was right, it's not a bacon tree!" "Luis, Luis MI amigo... What is it? " "Pepe.. It's not a bacon tree. It's It's Ees It's It's a ham bush...."

Hamburgers!

Upside down. How do you potate a potato?

I'm terribly sorry sir, please excuse Chef Jim's explosive diarrhea. Waiter! 0.25 is in my soup!

Your anvil has no use against NAPALM!

Banned for using the pound. Yes, its the pound. Not a hash-tag.

Granted. You are now dead, and therefore no longer sick. I wish the potatoes were able to potate into patotoes.

I sorry, but commie guns ain't allowed here.

That's no moon!

I have a few crafts sitting around that I could show off. EC-89A Strike Falcon Ready For action CTOL A low level bomber. Crew: 2- 1 Pilot/Commander, 1 Navigator/Gunner/Bombardier Bomb load: 4 Bombs of whatever type your imagination allows (I like thermite lit by napalm) Power Plant: Two Turbojets Air Intakes: Two Ram Air Intakes Max Speed at Low Level: 120mps Max Speed at altitude: 980mps Max Altitude: 190,000m Return Range at Low Level: 80ish Km Max Range at Low Level: 160ish Km Return Range at Altitude: 753900ish Km (1/5 Of Kerbin) Max Range at Altitude: Somewhere Over The Rainbow Imgur Album:http://imgur.com/a/1OpH2#0 Download: http://www./view/jg64jfnepqfnfp4/EC-89A%20Strike%20Falcon.craft Action Groups None EC-89BII Strike Falcon-VTOL Ready For Action VTOL A VTOL version of the EC-89A Strike Falcon Crew: 2- 1 Pilot/Commander, 1 Navigator/Gunner/Bombardier Bomb load: 4 Bombs of whatever type your imagination allows (I like thermite lit by napalm) Power Plant: Two Turbojets for lateral flight/ Two Turbojets for VTOL Air Intakes: Two Ram Air Intakes Max Speed at Low Level: 120mps Max Speed at altitude: 980mps Max Altitude: 190,000m Return Range at Low Level: 80ish Km Max Range at Low Level: 160ish Km Return Range at Altitude: 753900ish Km (1/5 Of Kerbin) Max Range at Altitude: Somewhere Over The Rainbow Imgur Album :http://imgur.com/a/Wnx76#0 Download: http://www./view/b678zve2bghhe7b/EC-89BII%20Strike%20Falcon-VTOL.craft Action Groups 1)Turn On VTOL engines/Kill lateral engines 2)Turn on all engines (Used in transition from VTOL to conventional flight) 3)Turn on lateral engines/kill VTOL engines (Only go to lateral flight after you have reached >90mps) 4)Kill all engines EF96O Sea SilverEagle Ready For Action STOL A medium bomber. Crew: 2- 1 Pilot/Commander, 1 Navigator/Gunner/Bombardier Bomb load: 6 Bombs of whatever type your imagination allows (I like thermite lit by napalm) Power Plant: Three Turbojets for lateral / Three Turbojets for STOL Air Intakes: Two Ram Air Intakes For Lateral Flight/ 2 Basic Intakes for STOL Max Speed at Low Level: 100mps Max Speed at altitude: To Be Tested Max Altitude: To Be Tested Return Range at Low Level: To Be Tested Max Range at Low Level: To Be Tested Return Range at Altitude: To Be Tested Max Range at Altitude: To Be Tested Imgur Album : http://imgur.com/a/CMTnz#0 Download: https://www./folder/undefined/ Action Groups 1)Turn On VTOL engines/Kill lateral engines 2)Turn on all engines (Used in transition from VTOL to conventional flight) 3)Turn on lateral engines/kill VTOL engines (Only go to lateral flight after you have reached >100mps) 4)Kill all engines KC-39JAM SpinCat Ready For Action CTOL A Single Pilot Micro-Bomber. Really. It's small. Crew: 1 Pilot Bomb load: 2 Power Plant: One Basic Jet Air Intakes: Two Basic Intakes Max Speed at Low Level: To Be Tested Max Speed at altitude: To Be Tested Max Altitude: To Be Tested Return Range at Low Level: To Be Tested Max Range at Low Level: To Be Tested Return Range at Altitude: To Be Tested Max Range at Altitude: To Be Tested Imgur Album : http://imgur.com/a/iGz2O#0 Download: http://www./view/2c1dv9axs4upb39/KC-39JAM%20SpinCat.craft P/A-75E SkullEagle Ready For action CTOL A Heavy bomber. Crew: 3- 1 Pilot/Commander, 1 Navigator/Gunner/Bombardier, 1 rear turret gunner Bomb load: A LOT of bombs* Power Plant: Six Turbojets Air Intakes: Twelve Standard Air Intakes Max Speed at Low Level: To be tested Max Speed at altitude: To be tested Max Altitude: To be tested Return Range at Low Level: To be tested Max Range at Low Level: To be tested Return Range at Altitude: To be tested Max Range at Altitude: To be tested Imgur Album:http://imgur.com/a/nQvWQ#0 Download: http://www./view/f1gvif506gjvau1/P_A-75E_SkullEagle.craft Action Groups:None *You must add your own bombs. Warranty** may be voided if too many bombs are loaded onto the wings. **That's a lie, it doesn't have warranty. FAD-1 Ready For action VTOL Cost: 36,898.6 Armament: 14 Anti-stuff missiles Power plant: 1 basic jet engine Fuel: 100 Kerbal Units Pilots: 1 Power Source: 18 OX-STAT Solar Panals, 4 RTGs SAS: 4 Basic SAS, Mk1 Cockpit SAS DownLoad: https://www./?yrbknq4n18dxmje

My arsenal is not free enough. I'll be taking 15 of those impressive planes.

Banned because on the 6th of June,1944, in Hollywood, Texas, Jamaca went on vacation to the junki yard to eas a taetoor. He lived for 40012 moarsa seconds, along with his noramals lives.

Banned for questioning my right to question where you live!

The last one can't be a glorious docking! The station doesn't have a docking port. You'll end up like me, on my first go at docking. "There's a whole lot of clanging, but no sticking"-Me, whist failing to dock.

Problem solved. Now it is a M4 Sherman Flamethrower tank of the Second World War. That somehow makes you a cheater.

Granted, but you cant post attachments on normal posts. I wish that the next posts includes the word "Napalm."

I see a solution to this battle! NAPALM FOR ALL THE AIRSHIPS! NAPALM FOR EVERYONE!

You, my good sir, are a flat out cheater. You can only ask The Bill Kerman if you are told to ask The Bill Kerman by someone who is a CHEATER.

I'm so tough... I work at McDonald's. Ok. Not really. Man that place scares me. Welcome to the Salzige Spucknapf. You got your man-pants on?

Sir! Wehrmacht Panzerkampfwagens are approaching! Kill them with fire!

Granted, but the labeling guy labels it 0.01, so you don't think it's an update. I wish I owned an M2 Browning.

Banned because having an ice cream cone in you back pocket on Sunday is illegal in New York, USA.