Pun-A-Thon

[StrandedonEarth]

Some people think mucous is funny, but it's snot.

Edited April 5, 2016 by StrandedonEarth

[WinkAllKerb'']

localized/phoenetics: (hardly translatable)

" il a rit très fort on peu pas se tromper, c une histoire de 'clintonris' et d'aigle qui chique le chef sous le bureau, ça fait tache à la longue pour une histoire courte"

Edited April 6, 2016 by WinkAllKerb''

[UnionPacific1983WP]

What kind of energy do charged particles have when happy? EcSTATIC! 

I can find the door on my own, but thanks for showing me the way anyways.

[Matuchkin]

I won the Paralympics single-handedly!

[SpaceplaneAddict]

Leaf me alone, i need space for my vacuum rated engine.

[Matuchkin]

1 hour ago, SpaceplaneAddict said:

Leaf me alone, i need space for my vacuum rated engine.

ha...haha...hahaha...

...

...

uhh...

...

... ha?

Edited May 9, 2016 by Matuchkin

[HoloYolo]

Cop: Why did you steal that?
 

Thief: I don't know what you're takeing about.

[StrandedonEarth]

2 hours ago, SpaceplaneAddict said:

Leaf me alone, i need space for my vacuum rated engine.

[StrandedonEarth]

[Matuchkin]

What do musicians do after they die?

They decompose.

[Matuchkin]

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. 

One says to the other, "Are you all right?" 

"No, I lost an electron." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm positive."

[Mycroft]

Three elephants fall off a cliff. two hit the ground, the third hits the water. Ba-dum chhhhhh! Say it aloud.

[PB666]

1 minute ago, Mycroft said:

Three elephants fall off a cliff. two hit the ground, the third hits the water. Ba-dum chhhhhh! Say it aloud.

it aloud. 

[Matuchkin]

What's the same about Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?

Both their last hits were The Wall.

[Mycroft]

Just now, PB666 said:

it aloud. 

haha. Say the joke aloud

[0111narwhalz]

41 minutes ago, Mycroft said:

haha. Say the joke aloud

The joke aloud.

...

I don't get it?

[Mycroft]

Ohhhhh man.... Say "Three elephants fell off a cliff. Two hit the water, one hit the ocean. Ba-dum chhhhh!" aloud. You know what, just forget it 

Edited June 26, 2016 by Mycroft

[Dman979]

forget what?

[Mycroft]

2 minutes ago, Dman979 said:

forget what?

I made a joke that was helped if you say it aloud, so of course someone came and said "it aloud" 

[MDZhB]

2 hours ago, Mycroft said:

Three elephants fall off a cliff. two hit the ground, the third hits the water. Ba-dum chhhhhh! Say it aloud.

I seriously don't get it; I'm tired.

 

"I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger, then, it hit me."

 

EDIT: Oh, I get it now. You have to say all of the joke, not just the first part...

I'm so clever.

Edited June 26, 2016 by MDZhB

[cubinator]

When a spacecraft does a flyby of a planet at, like, 30c, it's trajectory is a hyperbole.

[Xorth Tanovar]

I'm handing out dead batteries to everyone, free of charge.

[EliasDanger]

What do you call two parallel platforms that extend from the shore to the water and intersect? A pair o' docks.

A book just fell on my head....I only have myshelf to blame.

Edited October 22, 2016 by EliasDanger

[matik2002]

Two Kerbals crashed on a moon.

 

One said, "We shouldn't go that fast."

The second, "Then you should've gone at Minimus speed!"

._.

[cubinator]

I tried to make a vacuum pun, but it sucked.

I guess it's ok though, because there's no pressure to make puns like that anyway.

Edited November 22, 2017 by cubinator