A Simple Game of Chess......?

[StrandedonEarth]

My knight bribes the jury with horsey rides

[Andem]

My bishop declares the jury to be heretics and has them burned at the stake. Your move.

[cantab]

My King dies. Which isn't so bad, because the new King is a 5/5/5 leader. We establish colonies in the New World and send fleets of ships to control the trade nodes.

[Andem]

33 minutes ago, cantab said:

My King dies. Which isn't so bad, because the new King is a 5/5/5 leader. We establish colonies in the New World and send fleets of ships to control the trade nodes.

Aha! But the king's son commits suicide, leaving only the archduke as an heir! I us Gavrilo Princip to assassinate Franz Ferdinand! Mwahahahaha!

[cantab]

I attack Southern Europe with three armies from the Middle East.

[Spaceception]

Jebediah launches a SLS rocket at your queen, with him at the helm.

[legoclone09]

Congress defunds the SLS program, so you can't launch it.

[TopHeavy11]

A wild Elon Musk gives NASA half his fortune, allowing for one proof of concept rocket, which is targeted at the next poster.

[Dman979]

The POC rocket blows up before launch. I invade the Ottoman Empire from British Egypt.

[Mad Rocket Scientist]

I send a herd of manhunting boomrats in to attack your armies.

[cantab]

My pawns ski down the mountain and shoot the boomrats with rifles.

[Andem]

I move three German divisions through the mountains slaughtering you pawns by the thousands.

[Dman979]

I add an "r" and switch an "i" to an "e", changing divisions to diversions.

Three German diversions doesn't make sense, so I've averted the slaughter. The pawns claim me as their hero.

[legoclone09]

I claim the pawns as my servants, and force them to slaughter you.

[cantab]

Accio pawn's weapons!

[Dman979]

I'm Dman979, and this is my pawnshop. I work here with me, myself, and I. If I've learned one thing in two years, it's that you never know what will come through that notifications tab.

[Andem]

Hey, you can have my queen for $15,000

[cantab]

No Deal.

I ask for box number eleven to be opened, and it reveals a pawn. Good, that boosts my odds of winning a major piece in the box I have,

[Dman979]

My Rook gives armor to all my other pieces, increasing their chances of being put in DBNO instead of dying.