[AAR] The Grand Tour - Voyage To The Planets

[Danish_Savage]

Hey I love this story it is just that I hate when people say something like "it will be ready by tomorrow" and it is not. Unpunctuality is bad in my opinion. He could have at least given a proper ETA.

Just remember, he's got a life that's hella more important than this story. The thing is, something is just better to think for yourself and not write it.

Sorry for the rant by the way.

[Krevsin]

Hey I love this story it is just that I hate when people say something like "it will be ready by tomorrow" and it is not. Unpunctuality is bad in my opinion. He could have at least given a proper ETA.

Perfectly understandable, but Czo does this not as his main occupation but as a hobby which is, as such, often affected by his private life, so exact ETAs are few and far between.

[czokletmuss]

CHAPTER 39

VALL ORBIT INSERTION

***

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Engines cutoff. Trajectory correction burn completed. Vall encounter confirmed. Estimated arrival time 18 hours 14 minutes and 35 seconds.

GENANAND: Good. The sooner we leave the vicinity of Jool, the better.

MALLOCK: Exactly. I don't want to spend more time sitting here in the radiation shelter. I do appreciate the irony though, how it took the deadly radiation belt of Jool to force all of us to gather here and chat.

JOHNDON: N-not all of us. Commander is still in the co-command module.

MALLOCK: But the rest of us is here, right? And we didn't really have any occasion for such gathering in the last months. I can't even remember the last time we've talked, Ned.

NED: There's nothing to talk about.

MALLOCK: Nothing? We've just arrived here and one of us is already dead!

CAMBO: Mechanical failure, completely understandable after such a long time in space and two aerobrakings. It's nobody's fault.

MALLOCK: No doctor, you are completely wrong about that.

NEILGAS: Are you suggesting something?

MALLOCK: Actually I do. We shouldn't even be here, we chose to go back to home – and who's fault is this?

JOHNDON: B-be quiet, you'll wake up Bill.

GENANAND: Whining won't change anything. We're here and we have to deal with it.

MALLOCK: And that's my point – we dealt with that months ago. Problem is, he decided to ignore it.

CAMBO: If I remember correctly, you were one of the few people who voted for continuing the mission.

MALLOCK: I did not vote for what's going on.

CAMBO: Actually, you did.

NEILGAS: Here we go again…

MALLOCK: I wanted to continue the mission, to gather more science and to realize whatever plan KSC has for us. When was the last time any of you have talked with Kerbin, huh?

JOHNDON: B-BERTY said there were problems with co-communications and-

MALLOCK: Oh great, “BERTY said†- you're listening to whatever the robot says?

GENANAND: Calm down Mal. And he's not a robot.

MALLOCK: He's not a commander either and what a pity he isn't – maybe we would have somebody sane in command of this mission.

NED: Jeb is not crazy.

MALLOCK: Says who? You, of all people? Not only you have obviously your own problems…

GENANAND: Mal, come on-

MALLOCK: …but you're willing to defend your old pal after months of him neglecting his duties? We would've been dead already if it wasn't for Neilgas and his repairs of the life support system – or have you forgotten that the secondary LSS was damaged during the aerobraking? The same aerobraking that killed Harsen?

NED: What's your point?

MALLOCK: My point? My point is we're stuck here executing what is supposed to be KSC mission plan lead by a complete munatic, who's so detached that he prefers to risk exposure to radiation that to come here and spend some time with us. My point is that all the equipment and the ship itself is slowly breaking down and if the engines fail even once, we'll be stuck here for good. My point is not only we don't have contact with Kerbin, we don't even have contact with Jeb, who uses the fraking AI to communicate with us! And not only that – I'm sure he's spying on us even as we speak.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I can assure you, professor Mallock, that commander Jeb didn't order me to, as you puy it, spy on the crew.

MALLOCK: You see? Even as we speak!

GENANAND: Calm down already!

NEILGAS: Good Kod, Mallock, you are a scientist and you sound like you were wearing a tinfoil hat.

MALLOCK: What?

GENANAND: He's right. Jeb has gone crazy and uses BERTY to manipulate us? Listen to yourself, Mal, you're being paranoid.

MALLOCK: You say I am crazy and in the same time you're willing to follow Jebediah after all what happened?!

NED: Yes.

NEILGAS: It's not like we have any choice, Mal.

MALLOCK: Rozer would've never allow it to happen, we should-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Doctor Cambo, I'm detecting an abnormal heartbeat in professor's Mallock biosensors readings. I suggest you take him to the medic bay and examine in case of some complications.

MALLOCK: My heart?

CAMBO: What, you think you can't have a heart attack in space?

MALLOCK: But I'm feeling fine!

CAMBO: Take this stress pill. BERTY?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Thorough examination is advised.

BILL: What's going on?

JOHNDON: G-great, you've woken him up!

MALLOCK: Good for him! He was with Jeb on the Mun and he's the oldest of us all, instead of sleeping he should be doing something about-

CAMBO: Please calm down, professor. You're coming with me.

BILL: Where's he going? Did I miss something?

NED: It's nothing, Bill. It's nothing.

***

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Orbit insertion burn in T minus 13 minutes and 3 seconds. Payload C is expected to enter Laythe sphere of influence in T minus 1 hour 24 minutes and 46 seconds.

JEB: Would you let me go after we're done with it?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: No. The time for rest in scheduled after successful polar orbit insertion by VallSat.

JEB: And what about funeral?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: It's not our priority right now.

JEB: But think about the crew morale! We can't let him wait for much longer, the crew-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I've reach a conclusion that the most satisfying way of performing a proper funeral from a psychological stand point will be to put the remains of doctor Harsen in a trajectory that will send him into the Jool's atmosphere. This would require additional work with the coffin. To minimalise time of extravehicular activity required for this this operation must be performed while IMV “Proteus†is on route to Tylo, which can only be done after complete refueling.

JEB: But it will take days! He'll start… he'll start to decom-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Potential biohazard can be reduced completely by putting the remains of doctor Harsen to the coffin immediately after executing orbit insertion burn. To futher minimalize the risk of infection, the coffin can be attached to the hull. Exposure to radiation during such extravehicular activity will be well within safety limit. Furthermore, by installing additional batteries the coffin could provide a valuable data.

JEB: You can't be – data? What data?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Biochemical activity in microgravity is always worth investigating. Strong magnetosphere of Jool can also significantly-

JEB: You want to experiment on him?!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes. It would be a terrible waste to ignore such occasion. Organic material-

JEB: Organic material? It's Harsen, not some koddamned Petri dish!

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb, you're acting under the influence of your emotions. The potential benefits of such research can be enormous. The results of experiments conducted here may save lives in the future. It would be unethical to ignore this.

JEB: You are talking about ethics while considering doing this? You are insane.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb. As I have stated on a numerous occasions, as artificial intelligence I cannot be described with terms used to describe living beings. Sane or insane are useless categories, thus using them leads to wrong conclusions. Besides, this is an obligatory procedure for all deceased crew members.

JEB: No. No way.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: You can access the files concerning this issue, Jeb. Codename “Mystery Gooâ€Â.

JEB: …

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Orbit insertion burn in T minus 10 minutes.

JEB: So he was right. We really are expendable...

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I think you are still being unnecessary emotional about this, Jeb. There is no rational reason to not make use of an organic material already brought to the Jool system.

JEB: When they find out, nobody will listen to you.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Yes. That's why you are going to prepare the experiment after all operations scheduled for today are completed.

JEB: My Kod… why are you tormenting me like this?

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Your cooperation is required for the successful completing the mission, willing or unwilling. This mission is too important for me to let anyone compromise it, Jeb.

JEB: BERTY, please… after Bob I can't… I can't-

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I'm sorry, Jeb, but there is no alternative. The science must be done.

***

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Laythe encounter in T minus 30 seconds.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Laythe encounter confirmed. Plotting trajectory corrections.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Polar orbit achieved. Circularizing in progress.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Final orbit achieved. Payload C ready for the rendez-vous.

***

JOHNDON: Thank you.

NEILGAS: For what?

JOHNDON: For keeping my c-company. Everybody is arguing this days, it's nice to-

NEILGAS: Look, I just didn't want to sit in hab B with Mallock after all this.

JOHNDON: Oh.

NEILGAS: Hey, err, it's not like-

JOHNDON: It's no-nothing, really.

NEILGAS: :sigh:

JOHNDON: …

NEILGAS: So… the probe. It's going in a polar orbit, right?

JOHNDON: Yes. This will give us the c-complete planetary scan after some time.

NEILGAS: Planetary?

JOHNDON: Oh, right. Well, these muns are so big that they deserve to be planets, like Dres. If it wasn't for Jool, they surely would be.

NEILGAS: Mhm.

JOHNDON: LaytheSat released!

NEILGAS: Shouldn't BERTY do this?

JOHNDON: Why? I'm the r-robotics specialist. He's overseeing, that's it. Plus, it's good to have something to do, you know?

NEILGAS: I guess it is.

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Inclination change maneuver calculations completed.

JOHNDON: G-great. Initiate the burn.

NEILGAS: So many months together and it didn't even say goodbye.

JOHNDON: Oh, we will be talking with the probe a lot in the next few weeks. I'm su-sure he'll have quite a story to tell about this ice planet.

***

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Jeb. It's getting late. You should start preparing for the extravehicular activity to mount additional equipment into the coffin. More powerful batteries are vital for the research to be successful so far from the Sun.

JEB: …

BERTY v.2.0.8b: I can assure you that we will initiate the refueling procedure as soon as the Automatic Miner Unit 2.0 secures its orbit above Vall. Then after transfer burn to Tylo the crew will have the possibility to perform the funeral ceremony.

JEB: …

BERTY v.2.0.8b: Don't be sad, Jeb. Doctor Harsen will continue to serve kerbality and science even after his death. He will be put to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. Don't you agree, Jeb?

***

MISSION STATUS

***

Edited October 22, 2013 by czokletmuss

[czokletmuss]

Hey I love this story it is just that I hate when people say something like "it will be ready by tomorrow" and it is not. Unpunctuality is bad in my opinion. He could have at least given a proper ETA.

Actually, I did tell you what's going on:

I'm very sorry but due to a small emergency at home I didn't finish the next chapter. Tomorrow I'm on a conference, so expect new chapter on Sunday.

Patience, my young padawan, patience. I have quite a lot of work to do (due to yesterday conference), but I'll do my best to release it today (GMT+1). Remember though that I care about the quality of the story, so I won't release it if it's going to be rushed

Anyways:

EDIT:

I hope that whatever was the problem has been resolved by the time I post this, but if not I hope that it gets resolved soon so you don't have to deal with it as long. Side note nice pics

Thanks! It wasn't that serious after all as it turns out.

man, that guy is gonna hurt! That short guy never gets tired. He just keeps going and going and going...

i hope hope everything worked out well. Well, not for that guy. He rightfully deserves the beating.

And to think Bruce Wayne saved him!

This story is getting better and better!

And every chapter is getting longer and longer

Isn't that Ike?

Not really

Just started reading the story, as I am new to the forums. Keep up the good work!

Thank you very mu- wait, what? TheBadAstronomer? Like, the Bad Astronomer?

Is that the company rep? As long as it isn't a government rep!

(EDIT: speaking of which, have some Rep Czocletmuss, now that I've figured out what that star is down there. Darn Android and no mouse over texts!)

OM NOM NOM! Thanks

15 left. Bob and Orsen died before Proteus orbited Duna, then Harsen died of Jool... (I hate you Jool, home to the wrecker --- you know what it is...). What would happen next, more Kadmos repeat?

All of them will die in the end and only BERTY shall remain and all the science shall be done and BERTY will enslave all of kerbalkind and it will be horrible(or awesome if you are BERTY) and also bad. Gettin' ahead of myself here though.

Boy, that escalated quickly.

And in the end BERTY will sing a song:

Nah, this would be too dark of an ending.

...

On the other hand... :scribble:

Edited October 22, 2013 by czokletmuss

[SpaceSphereOfDeath]

'mystery goo'

Well then...

Great chapter, not as dark as the other ones!

[czokletmuss]

Great chapter, not as dark as the other ones!

Damn, and I was trying so hard!

[Traches]

BERTY v.2.0.8b: You can access the files concerning this issue, Jeb. Codename “Mystery Gooâ€Â.

So THAT's what that stuff is! My brain just got blown in half.

[Danish_Savage]

This is, depending on your point of view extremely dark.

Also it kinda hurts me having you break my favorite kerbal, because the things he is going trough is not 100% recoverable.

Your writing is getting better and better, and is already at a publishable standard

Thank you again for a good chapter. Also go frak yourself, i did not plan to go sobbing to bed

So THAT's what that stuff is! My brain just got blown in half.

Try take a surface sample at the launchpad my friend

[Itsdavyjones]

So THAT's what that stuff is! My brain just got blown in half.

I think everyone's mind got blown up reading that..... good chapter, and if I were Jeb, i'd probably quit already.

[iDan122]

Great chapter, liked the part with the goo, I will never look aT it the same way again...

[team.leit]

I think everyone's mind got blown up reading that..... good chapter, and if I were Jeb, i'd probably quit already.

Yep, my brain went as well. I feel bad for Jeb, seeing how I am portraying him in my story ;.;

Edited October 22, 2013 by team.leit

[ssgavin1250]

so that's the mystery goo... i think i will be retiring my science probes and sticking with the Observation Bay and smaller testing devices... it bothers me a little that one of those goo containers might be Jeb

[TheBadAstronomer]

No czokletmuss, that's not me! Because I enjoy looking through telescopes, I named myself this because I am an amateur astronomer.

[Dynamo]

Interesting how you pitched the Goo canister. I look forward to anticipating how you'll 'interpret' other scientific instruments. One question though, if we ever see the Duna Base crew ever again, will there be instruments at the base as well? It'll be interesting to have the Grand Tour bring science fully into the fold, the definition of the Grand Tour will have to be changed to "Every planet and moon AND a data set for each." I'm still kind of worried about what BERTY defines as science if he cuts up 'biomass' for petty experiments.

By the way, a shoutout to Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri fans - the first thing that came to mind after Czo pitched the Mystery Goo in that light was the Recycling Tanks base facility from the Biogenetics Tech.

In the words of Chairman Sheng-ji Yang:

"It is every citizen's final duty to go into the tanks, and become one with all the people."

Basically for those that do not know the game: the dying are recycled for organic matter and component chemicals, similar to BERTY's frankenstein-style research.

[Danish_Savage]

It also reminds me of a very scary danish bookseries

[czokletmuss]

'mystery goo'Well then...

So THAT's what that stuff is! My brain just got blown in half.

Space exploration is expensive - you don't want to waste anything.

This is, depending on your point of view extremely dark.

Also it kinda hurts me having you break my favorite kerbal, because the things he is going trough is not 100% recoverable.

Your writing is getting better and better, and is already at a publishable standard

Thank you again for a good chapter. Also go frak yourself, i did not plan to go sobbing to bed

Publishable? Not really - I'm still not good enough in English I'm afraid, too many grammar issues.

I'm glad you like it - and don't worry, the situation may always change for better.

Or worse.

And what about Jeb? Well, he's a tough one, so even after all what's happened it's not his breaking point,

Yet.

I think everyone's mind got blown up reading that..... good chapter, and if I were Jeb, i'd probably quit already.

Ah, this is another "good" thing about space - you can't just quit the only habitable enviroment past Kerbin's orbit

Great chapter, liked the part with the goo, I will never look aT it the same way again...

Thank you!

Yep, my brain went as well. I feel bad for Jeb, seeing how I am portraying him in my story ;.;

Every story needs a hero to be tested - look even at Disney movies, "Lion King" for instance. It's his ability to overcome his weaknesses and challenge whatever the obstacles there are which gives us the happy ending.

Of course, there are also other approaches to this subject.

so that's the mystery goo... i think i will be retiring my science probes and sticking with the Observation Bay and smaller testing devices... it bothers me a little that one of those goo containers might be Jeb

It was more a shoutout to the 0.22 than statement about all the containters.

OR WAS IT?!

No czokletmuss, that's not me! Because I enjoy looking through telescopes, I named myself this because I am an amateur astronomer.

That's cool too! Which reminds me I should rent some cabin in Mazury so that I can watch ISON without all the light pollution.

Interesting how you pitched the Goo canister. I look forward to anticipating how you'll 'interpret' other scientific instruments. One question though, if we ever see the Duna Base crew ever again, will there be instruments at the base as well? It'll be interesting to have the Grand Tour bring science fully into the fold, the definition of the Grand Tour will have to be changed to "Every planet and moon AND a data set for each." I'm still kind of worried about what BERTY defines as science if he cuts up 'biomass' for petty experiments

This brings a bigger issue of updating the Grand Tour to 0.22. The whole story was planned in March (not that much left from this early ideas) and initiated in April. Currently it's still running on 0.20.2 version. Now I guess I could transfer it somehow to 0.22 (asssuming there won't be problems with some parts and some of them are from 0.18) but this would erase all the traces of "Protues" journey - flags, debris, vehicles and probes and of course planets configuration which is obviously different in a starting date (Year 1 Day 1). There are some ways to make it work (timewarp and set every thing on a correct orbit in a correct time using HyperEdit) but it would take a lot of time I would prefer to spend on other things like writing for instance. I've a lot of crushes recently when I'm playing the Grand Tour however, so I'm considering doing it anyways. I'm not sure though what do you guys think about this - it would be, in a way, cheating since it won't be a Grand Tour if I start with a new persistent file with "Proteus" above Vall and continue from there. What do you think about it?

It also reminds me of a very scary danish bookseries

You know what's scary? Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" series.

[Krevsin]

The science must be done.

I think I found my new favourite quote.

[Patupi]

Two (of many) possibilities for a resolution of the 'Berty vs Jeb' thing are

1) Someone manages (despite Berty monitoring everything) to hack a copy of the conversations between Jeb and Berty. The crew hears that it'd be a shocker!

2) Berty simply tells them... I know, sounds weird, but bear with me. Right now Berty may have a few subroutines of his physchology programs messed up (he MUST know what this is doing to Jeb, and yet he keeps on going) but over all he is NOT being evil or even self obsessed. Just as he keeps saying, he isn't human... er kerbal. His sole goal is the mission for all Kerbality. If he needs the crew and the crew's moral goes so low it endangers the mission, and the cause of this is their distrust in Jeb, he may just simply open up about it.... As long as he calculates that the loss in trust of him would not equal their loss in trust of Jeb before.

[tom1499]

Is it kinda bad that I agreed with BERTY for using the body for science?

[Danish_Savage]

Well Czo, I will have to read that ''Sandman'' of yours.

[LaydeeDem]

After reading the latest chapter I'm worried that I'm slowly becoming a computer. My command capsule snapped off of my lander on a Minmus mission and I was more worried about getting my science back than rescuing Bill, Jeb, and Bob.

[The Error]

This whole mission has taken on a XCOM-like secrecy.

It's actually rather unnerving.

[czokletmuss]

TINY, TINY UPDATE

The next chapter is coming along nicely and will be released when it's ready. I won't give you any ETA except for the usual "Soon" and "When I Feel Like Writing" but I can tell you one thing - The Grand Tour has reached more or less 2/3 of its originally planned length. The plans changed significantly several times but yup, more or less 2/3 are done. So there's still a lot of updates ahead of us. That is, if I don't change my mind and say "screw this, I'm playing Deus Ex" or something like this along the way In three months it will be a year since I published the first episode of the "Jool of Kerbol system" but to be honest, writing this is still a lot of fun. And I improved my English significantly

And what about The Space Race? I want to continue it as well, though with the recent 0.22 update it'll take a while before all the mods are updated or before I'll update some parts manually and test them. Anyways, it'll probably be continued - unless I decide that I don't feel like writing, that is :>

Oh, and there is also a third secret idea for moar writing which I have. But I won't tell you know what it is, of course.

Take care!

P.S. If you can't wait for more goodies from czokletmuss, I suggest you watch this in the meantime:

Edited October 23, 2013 by czokletmuss

[Itsdavyjones]

moar stories...... words do not give any clue to the joy i have from reading that statement.

[sochmer]

What did i've just seen??

Already an year? that was pretty fast!

but i have to tell you a thing... i wasn't playing KSP in a looooong time but while i was reading "Jool of Kerbol System" and "The Grand Tour"* i started again playing with a new objective, thanks to you!

* i've done a grand tour back in 0.18.1 with the strange RCS bug, that was fun!

if you want to see the pictures http://www.flickr.com/photos/sochmer/sets/72157634666423321/

unfortunately Eleoo wasn't in the game at that time