(An Original Name) Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived.And you just put him in charge of your ship... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arunatari Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 If my ASAS could talk, he would be the sanest person in my crew.*pending collision with the Münar surface*Bill: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH Bob: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH Jeb: WWWHHHEEEEEEEEE Me: THRUST IN EVERY DIRECTION BUT UP MechJeb: WHEE SPIN OUT OF CONTROL FOR NO REASON ASAS: OH GOD STOP POINTING DOWN WHYYYY Outcome: Catastrophic Failure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShachonianX Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 If I think about it, the only trouble I had with my ASAS was when it made one of my ships spin around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JelloTickles Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Peaceful music plays in (before launch)Fires rocketsTurns ASAS"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY TURN RIGLEFFIRERCSTHERELESTRIFHGT!""LEFTRILEFTUP"Seperates stage with ASAS on"WTF, MATE (Did I mention it was Australian?) WHERE DID ALL THAT EXTRA WEIGHT GO?""AHHHHHHHHH TURN TURN THIS WAY TURN THAT WAY!"Ship proceeds to break into a million pieces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rock3tman Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 ASAS: dundundundundundun...ME: What are you...ah, forget it.ASAS: dundundundundundun....ME: *launches rocket*ASAS: FLASH!! AHHAHHHHHHH!ME: Oh, god....ASAS: dundundundundundundun....ME: Just...shut up and steer!ASAS: FLASH!! AHHAHHHHHH!! SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE!*rocket explodes* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akinesis Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Bill: We're rolling to the right ever so slightly still.Bob: How slightly?Bill: About two degrees a minute.Jeb: Correcting... how's that?Bill: Hmmm. Overshoot. We're now rolling to the left about one degree a minute.Bob: Engaging ASAS to stabilise the role...Jeb: No, wait- ASAS: FIRE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111*s'plosions* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunbaratu Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 "I appear to be 1 degree off too far to the left. okay well in that case TURN RIGHT AS HARD AS POSSIBLE!... Oh gee now I appear to be 1 degree too far to the right. Well in that case TURN LEFT AS HARD AS POSSIBLE!... Oh gee now I appear to be 1 degree too far to the left... well in that case TURN RIGHT AS HARD AS POSSIBLE!....Oh never mind the tail section vibrated and broke off so it doesn't matter now." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacerock1 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 "We were in a stable, controlled ascent. Why on Kerbin did you wake me up for this!?!? I'LL SHOW YOU!!!!! FULL LEFT ROLL!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RocketPilot573 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 ASAS: *Reads Ksp Weekly*ASAS: "WHAT!!! What is this nonsense! I never signed up for surgery!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesarcurado Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 "Where is my Banzel? You know I have seizures in a regular basis!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Itsdavyjones Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 ASAS: *Reads Ksp Weekly*ASAS: "WHAT!!! What is this nonsense! I never signed up for surgery!"Best thing I've read. +1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AustralianFries Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 ASAS: *Reads Ksp Weekly*ASAS: "WHAT!!! What is this nonsense! I never signed up for surgery!"Hah! That was good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kepicness Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 "Dont even THINK about turning me off, because you WILL crash." (usually happens anyways) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nitevision92 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 "Don't you think it's time we tested the new crew pod ejection system?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spyritdragon Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Error Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 ^lucky man.Jeb: Aight, ASAS, I'm turning you on to help us dock, okay?ASAS: Cool. Got it...steady.Jeb: Ok....lemmie just..ASAS: AHHHHH KRAKEN NOPENOPENOPE THRUST AWAY ERMAHGERDJeb: Holy Sweet Mothering Kerbchild of the Kraken! Hold steady!ASAS: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE OUTTA MONOPROPELLANT DAMN NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE*jettisons ASAS, turns around to dock, notices Monoprop.: 0*Jeb: Well......damn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellojoe Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 There's probably all sorts of muffins and tuna in my rockets. I'm gonna sing the doom song now. Doom doom dooom da-doom da-doom dooom da-doooom.~ my ASAS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asmosdeus Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Me:"Ok plane, fly forward."ASAS:"ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT[...]"Me: "Plane, why are you diving?!"ASAS:"NO TIME TO CORRECT ELEVATION MUST HAVE PERFECTLY CORRECT ROLL, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT, ROLL LEFT, ROLL RIGHT[...]" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
POTKC Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Me: OK...we've nearly finished a perfect launch.ASAS: And I've done a very good job, haven't I?Me: No...actually...I used MechJeb!ASAS: Not fair.MechJeb: It's OK, ASAS can take over now.Me: (Aprehensive) Alright...ASAS: Hahahahahahaha!!!! WIBBLEWOBBLEWIBBLEWOBBLEWIBBLEWOBBLE...(The orbital insertion burn is failed, and the payload burns up.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3_bit Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Me: Stable.....ASAS: ELECTRIC EEL SSTO FTWMe: Stop that.ASAS: ELECTRIC EEL TO THE DEAD(Spaceplane breaks into many pieces) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinerEdgar Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 [on ascent]Me: Prepare to stage.Asas: Ok[stageing]Asas: OH GOD WHAT WAS THAT PITCH UP DOWN LEFT BLUE SIX AHHHHH![failed to regain control faild orbital insertion] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain_Doug Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Me: ok just dock to the transfer stage MechJeb.Mechjeb: understood sir!ASAS: WHY DONT YOU USE ME!!!Me; Mech jeb can dock and you can put us into prograde.ASAS: OK!One docking laterMe: ok ASAS take control.ASAS: YES SIR! WARNING! WARNING! UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE IN CRAFT. ACTIVATING SELF DESTRCUT SEQUENCE!Me: wait what! that's only jeb's snack!ASAS: MUST DESTROY UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE. MUST DESTROY.:BOOOM:Me: great need to send another rescue craft.(This is based on what actualy happened to my early version of my interplanetary craft. Twice.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Destroyer Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 ASAS: "This thing has 2 boosters without struts?" AlsoASAS: THIS THING HAS WINGS AND CONTROL SURFACES?*SPAMS EVERYTHING*1 Billion m/s achiveved!ASAS: WOOHOOOO*Kaboom into ground* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Jedi Master Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 "I'M TE ONLY ASAS IN DA WORLD THAT WORKS LIKE ADVERTISEZD LUL"Yeah, my ASAS works much better than most people. No idea why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cydonian Monk Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 ASAS: "Inverted Pendulum? Why would I even want that?!?" (Flips craft upside down.) "There, isn't that better? What? It's still inverted?!? WILL IT NEVER END!?!?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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