How did Kerbals evolve?

[Mantis Toboggan]

As we all know, Kerbals have lower than human intelligence, slow movement, and everything can kill them. My personal belief is that every time that a Kerbal was going to be killed by a predator or other natural factor is that a tree would fall on the predator, or some random occurrence. This seems like the only explanation, or that the giant space krakens save them.

[Whackjob]

Slugs. They have obviously evolved from slugs. The eyestalks are vestigial.

[regex]

My personal belief is that every time that a Kerbal was going to be killed by a predator or other natural factor is that a tree would fall on the predator, or some random occurrence.

That would make them extraordinarily "lucky", which is obviously not the case because their lives are now in human hands,

I would say that they have no real natural competition on Kerbin and that their evolution took an extraordinarily long time (in Earth. terms).

[Flixxbeatz]

From grass, to grass.

[_Aramchek_]

Obviously an advanced alien race showed up and manipulated their dna, then taught them the basics of society and rocketry...then they took off for libations and cigarettes and never came back.

[Scotius]

Slugs. They have obviously evolved from slugs. The eyestalks are vestigial.

Nope, they evolved from space frogs. And what's that about Kerbals being less intelligent than humans? Try to fly into orbit using parts found on the side of the road - i dare ya.

[Brotoro]

Kerbals were originally the domesticated pets of an advanced alien race that had the power to create cute, diminutive solar systems. These aliens used the kerbals to do simple chores like housecleaning, yard work, and terraforming. Unfortunately for the aliens, these kerbals developed increased intelligence and a love for explosives, and they eventually overthrew their masters, as chronicled in the movies Rise of the Planet of the Kerbals and Dawn of the Planet of the Kerbals.

[Richy teh space man]

How do we know Kerbals have lower then human intelligence..?

[Tex_NL]

How do we know Kerbals have lower then human intelligence..?

They have a very low sense of self preservation.

[Scotius]

Just like ants. And ants are incredibly succesful genera. Well, Kerbals are not ants obviously, but they seem to propagate by natural cloning process. More than that - some offsprings seem to be perfect copies of their parents. Both physical and psychical. It's like a perpetual reincarnation. Individual knowing he'll live again in near future, literally as one of his descendants, can afford to take risks unthinkable to us. And before you pelt me with snack wrappers - yes, there are species on Earth capable of similiar things. Some jellyfish can seemingly reverse their biological processes alternating between adult and juvenile forms. In effect they can live indefinitely in right conditions.

Edited July 7, 2013 by Scotius
Correcting the typos

[Torham234]

Kerbals actually used to be very intelligent species.

A few hundred years ago, there was a global nuclear war on Kerbin, that annihilated most of the flora and all of the fauna on the planet. The only Kerbals that survived were the ones in great underground vault. Now, after hundreds of years, they have finally opened the vault. Since the surface radiation is still too high, they are trying to move off the planet and colonize some other planets in the solar system. Unfortunately, All the years underground and all that background radiation had a rather negative effect on their mental faculties.

[Sof]

Kerbals are in fact an advanced race from a different solar system when an exploration mission went wrong and the crash landed on what they later named Kerbin. All of their communication equipment was destroyed, and without the nessecary resources to build the hyper-luminal relay they couldn't call for help.

What we are witnessing is the futile attempts of a handful of survivors to try and make it back home with what little equipment they could salvage from the crashsite.

[SkyRender]

Looks like I have a topic for the next Hitchhiker's Guide to the Species post now...

[Geschosskopf]

Kerbals are the biological robots created by a race of hyper-intelligent, pan-dimensional beings to run inside their vast supercomputer to compute the question to the ultimate answer of 42, otherwise known as the Kerbol system. This explains why there are no other forms of animal life on Kerbin, only grass and trees. The Monoliths are actually Kerbal generators, spawning new Kerbals as needed. The prototype Monolith was on Mun, and it made the 1st Kerbals out of Mundust. As new Monoliths were installed elsewhere in the system, they copied the original design. This is why all Kerbals explode in a puff of Mundust when they die. Their green exterior is just slime from the inside of the clone tanks they're grown in.

[Whackjob]

Nope, they evolved from space frogs. And what's that about Kerbals being less intelligent than humans? Try to fly into orbit using parts found on the side of the road - i dare ya.

No, no, no. I'm certain it's slugs. Its very noticeable in retrospect. You never noticed that all Kerbal snacks have NO salt?

[MrTaxman]

They have a very low sense of self preservation.

That totally means that much of the human race has lower than human intelligence

[Xarian]

No, no, no. I'm certain it's slugs. Its very noticeable in retrospect. You never noticed that all Kerbal snacks have NO salt?

I think you're on to something. This also support my theory that Kerbals are evolved from tennis balls.

Why? Have YOU ever seen a tennis racket on Kerbin?

[Whackjob]

I think you're on to something. This also support my theory that Kerbals are evolved from tennis balls.

Why? Have YOU ever seen a tennis racket on Kerbin?

Yes, actually. With that one X-wing style Kerban compartment, the one with the sticky note about all the snacks having been eaten? It's in the top right cupboard, under the felt lined dinnerware case for pick-nic-ing.

[M5000]

Geez, haven't any of you guys heard of a Monolith?

[Sir Nahme]

I'm inclined to believe they evolved from some form of sauropod. Probably the Kerbosaurus Wrecks.

[3_bit]

How do we know they evolved and weren't created by god(s)?

[Sir Nahme]

What! Thats crazy! Theres no way there was any Intelligent Design involved! Such blasphemes! Next you'll be trying to convince us that the kerbalverse wasn't created in a giant explosion as ever Jeb fearing Kerman already knows and believes

[Dombi]

I read somewhere that they evolved from monkeys. How crazy is that theory?

[Parkaboy]

As we all know, Kerbals have lower than human intelligence, slow movement, and everything can kill them. My personal belief is that every time that a Kerbal was going to be killed by a predator or other natural factor is that a tree would fall on the predator, or some random occurrence. This seems like the only explanation, or that the giant space krakens save them.

I'm pretty sure their coloration is the evolutionary advantage that allowed them to survive. Most predators dislike eating anything green.

[_Aramchek_]

Next you'll be trying to convince us that the kerbalverse wasn't created in a giant explosion as ever Jeb fearing Kerman already knows and believes

Wait a minute, I think you've solved how the big bang started in our own universe, at some point, in a galaxt far far away, a long long time ago, Kerbals existed..and chief amongst them was the mighty Jebadiah.

From the start of his life he was obsessed with rockets and space, eventually after millions of cycles of death and rebirth, he managed to build a rocket large enough, and powerful enough that when he lit the mighty boosters it caused a massive explosion, so large, it created our own universe....We are all made of Jeb and the remains of that omnipotent rocket.