KSP headcanon

[jfull]

I actually have 2 theories about why Kerbals have such small bodies and short limbs, but I can't decide which one I like more.

The first is the common theory about them living underground in confined spaces, and thus natural selection favored short Kerbals.

The second is that Kerbals are surface dwellers, and that their green color actually comes from symbiotic algae living in their skin. Chemicals from the algae is also make them quite toxic to most other creatures on Kerbin. Without the threat of predators trying to eat them, Kerbals have lost all other natural defenses (kinda like Dodo Birds).

[technicalfool]

This is reminding me of Warhammer 40k Orks

You wouldn't be the first person to come up with the idea that Kerbals are related to WH40K orks. It fits fantastically well. They don't even know how to build their contraptions. They just bang some bits together and it works (mostly). Explains the lack of female kerbals too, because there are no male kerbals either. They reproduce asexually via spores, which is why they go *poof* when they die!

Just need a cross-licensing deal between Games Workshop and Squad to make it canon, I suppose.

- - - Updated - - -

When I saw headcanon, I was thinking of something that fired depleted uranium shells. Then I imagined what the recoil would do to your neck.

... then I imagined six different ways of absorbing that recoil.

Well you would, wouldn't you?

[xcorps]

The Kerbalverse did not begin with a Big Bang. It began with a Really Big Bang.

[DJEN]

Plants cannot live from photosynthesis alone, the only use the energy of the sunlight to build new molecules from water, carbondioxide etc. - they are no Yogis living from light and air alone.

Good point, KerbMav. Your comment is based upon scientific facts.

Also, since animals require more energy than plants, I guess they get most of the nutrients from snacks.

[SkyRender]

If you're looking for a way to launch Kerbals (well, part of them anyway) into space without a vessel, I think Danny2462 might have a solution for you.

...Oh, head canon! Silly me, I stuck an extra N in there.

I wrote an entire Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy-esque series of articles on my take on the Kerbals' peculiarities. I still add new entries to it occasionally, to boot!

[Special Agent Sigvan]

There were Kerbals

and then there was Danny

Danny's save was declared canon.

The Kerbals went extinct 5 seconds later

THE END.

[nobbers12345]

Species : Kermen

Classification : Extraterrestrial, zealous of space travel.

Experimentation : None

Number of Incidents : 1 (Collision with ISS, noticed as small green puff of smoke. Satellite [REDACTED] after 4 months of far away observation)

Chemical Makeup : Denser materials, likely of mercury under extreme pressure, inference from the constant wielding of space suits even within atmosphere. Makes a puff of some material after violent impact.

Capabilities:

Ability of higher orbital mechanics and mathematics with seemingly no effort.

Infinitely efficient building.

Interplanetary transfers.

Bending of space-time

Breaking the laws of physics (First case, the endless wobbling of a ship 20 years prior to writing, event named "Kraken")

Breaking physics for benefit

Protocol :

All measures are to be followed to prevent contamination of human species and all other earthly beings.

Upon encounter:

Report to government officials immediately

If they request contact:

Suits are not reported to be contaminated. Avoid touching in any way regardless.

Should a violent impact, causing a rapid rupture of the kerman's suit, expose yourself to open air and evacuate the area immediately. You will then be permitted to sound the contact and/or contamination alarms for the city. Government officials, cleanup crew, and evacuation teams will be dispatched right away.

Comments :

On planet we have classified KSX-324, or Kerbin, materials highly dense, 1 G of force on a planet 1/10th of Earth

Junkyard spotted on the antipode of their one active space center, randomly spawns rocket parts of an infinite amount, several of those objects are shipped out to location of active center

Kermen appear to worship three higher deities, they are in the flesh and bear orange suits, codenamed [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]. They keep on returning after death.

[JebThePilot]

I believe that the real purpouse of Kerbals is to die for our amusement. Then, the Kerbals rebelled and came up with Parachutes. Then we fought back and added Deady Reentry, which made Jeb's flying deadly even when he DIDNT have a SRB (or ten million). Then the Kerbals were like "We give up" and made KSP Interstellar and used the Alcubierre Drive to warp themselves into other games. End.

[Guest]

Kerbals are like ants. The females stay underground, and the males come up above. However, unlike ants, the males remain uncontrolled by the females and are free to do as they wish. Some of these things include creation of space centers, space bases, space food, space movies, space adjectives, and other space-related things.

Also, they have sexual reproduction.

[[email protected]]

The Kerbals large eyes are much more advanced than those of humans, evidenced by their ability to take advantage of some sort of 'zoom' function to view far away bodies. It has been documented that Kerbals in IVA are able to see significantly fainter objects in greater resolution than other species, inherently giving them an advantage in space exploration. It is unclear how this would have evolved since Kerbals are very slow moving and appear not to be hunters or have any natural predators. One theory is that Kerbals are a naturally space faring race, doing most of their reproduction via panspermic spore distribution amongst solar systems, reproducing exact or near exact copies of themselves. This enhanced vision is so accurate and their inherent mathematical capabilities so advanced as to give them the ability to mentally visualize a three dimensional model of space around themselves and to accurately predict future events through a series of what if thought experiments they like to call 'manuver nodes'.

Other theorists have noted that Kerbals have some sort of requirement to always wear a spacesuit, but this is simply false as can be observed from within their VAB. Kerbals without helmets completing various tasks such as waving light wands, wearing labcoats and pretending to argue about resource allocation. This has led to the conclusion that spacesuits are actually both functional and a position of honor within Kerbal society, so much so that Kerbals who have earned them never take them off.

Edited May 26, 2014 by [email protected]