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First things first. This:

flinging tornadoes at it

sounds awesome.

Okay now to business. You have 4 options that I can see:

1) Turn debris down. This is a far better option than you think. You're not talking about hours of work, here. You're talking DAYS.

2) Delete the trash manually in the Tracking Station. Same as #1, essentially, just takes longer. Though it won't take you the DAYS the below 2 options will...

3) Install KAS (Yes, it's a mod but it's a good if buggy one), send a ship up there and rendezvous with each piece. Attach something (a pipe or winch cable) to that piece, slow down the orbit so it'll crash into Kerbin, then detach and fly away to the next piece.

4) Do #2, but without KAS. This means no attaching anything so you'll need some kind of bucket. Maneuver your ship to the prograde side of your objects, get them in the bucket, and then fire retrograde to slow them down as in #2 above.

Trust me, though, do either of those last options a couple times and you'll be hopping to one of the first two posthaste.

Edited by 5thHorseman
Added a 4th option as #2
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Maybe a big bucket inserted into a retrograde orbit to catch things, and just moved around to intercept various orbits of bits of debris. When it's done, just deorbit the lot.

The speed of impact of a thing in retrograde orbit will generate even more debris! You need to rendezvous the bucket with the debris and meet it at low (relative) speed.

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Wow. You sir have gone overboard on the bucket, but I'll tell you one thing, if you miss a debris with that thing, your Kerbal may need glasses.... :P

Also, I have this slight fear that, depending on the Debris and the rate of impact that Debris makes to your bucket, wouldn't it, if at all possible, snap one of those cables you got there? They ain't really all that protected o.o

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