Survive That Attack!

[megatiger78]

I just catch it and shoot the next poser with a homing missile that can penetrate anything

[Souper]

I fire a cardboard mock-up if me, and the homing missile explodes away from me.

The next poster plays SpaceEngine and dies of extreme excitement.

[Sun]

Yes, but not the dying part.

The user below me is stuck in mud in rubber boots on a planet covered in mud. Also, you don't have a lander.

[Souper]

I report you to the mods, you're banned.

The next poster chants "Venus is love, Venus is life" all day long, Venus (the goddess) appears before them and floods the room there' in with Venusian atmosphere.

[Vaporo]

I open a window and turn on a fan.

The next poster is trapped in the center of a black hole.

[Anister]

Due to extreme forces, my whole body explodes, killing me (duh)

However, my humerus flew out of the event horizon of the black hole, and pierces the skull of the next poster.

Funny, right?

[Souper]

The humerus stops 3 inches away from my skin, and then falls back into the black hole.

The next poser is a tiny ant working inside an ant colony on the surface of my skin.

[Souper]

I smash the colony and bump this thread, ensuring it does not die.

The smell of burning, rotten sulfur fills the next poster's nose as Venus appears.

[megatiger78]

I fire the death star. the next poster is still satnding on venus and is destroyed

[MGUARN]

I quickly get off the planet by assembling a rocket that manages to stay intact after planetary annihilation.Now to ram your station into the earth.

next poster on the death star on a collisions course towards earth.

[megatiger78]

I get of the death star and activate planetary annihilation commanders, and they dox-rush the next poster

[GreeningGalaxy]

They fail to locate me, because I am noncorporeal at this time.

I pervade the thoughts of the next poster, inducing them to try to construct a small pyramid in their backyard.

[megatiger78]

the small pyramid is a laser that fires on the next poster

[Vaporo]

I hold up a mirror and reflect the laser away.

The next poster is trapped in a sealed and indestructible room and the only way to escape is to determine with (perfect certainty) the last digit of pi (by hand).

[GreeningGalaxy]

Over the course of about a month, I manage to figure out enough math from my unfinished education to provide a proof showing that pi is irrational and does not have a final digit. The room lets me out.

The next poster is locked in a room with a TV behind an unbreakable glass wall which is playing nothing but baseball player interviews.

["Chutes" Kalinin]

Over the time that I am stuck in the room, I grow my fingernails into lockpick shapes and pick the lock.

When I cut them the shards shoot into the skull of the next poster.

[megatiger78]

they hit a convenient hypetrain, which acuses gregrox mu to run over you and the next poster

[Joshwoo70]

I jumped out of the way and slow the train and direct it to the next poster.

[megatiger78]

gregrox quadruple track driftys to the next poster after I shoot joshwoo for trying to end kerbal history 2

[Vaporo]

I simply apply non-hype physical laws, causing the train to lose its grip on the tracks and derail before hitting me.

The next poster is trapped in a Wile E. Coyote cartoon where the only source of food is roadrunner.

[Designer225]

"CUT!" (You know when this word is said, especially if you film something.)

The next poster is enclosed inside the room where everything is screen and the room is very loud.

[SelectHalfling0]

Due to the screens simply being fabric hung from a frame, I push the screens out of the way and exit calmly.

Unfortunately, the next poster was under a steel support from one of those screens, which is now falling.

[Sun]

I really can't think of any defense since I'm too busy breaking out of the room #lol

The next poster is stuck in really deep and thick mud in the middle of a mudflat with only rubber waders and clothes.

[Tery215]

I walk out slowly, using my spear to fend off those fearsome mud-reptiles.

The next poster's space shoe is attached to a rocket by a cable, and the rocket is going into the sky.

[Anister]

I got a spacesuit. WHEEEEEEEEEEE

In space, i hack the rocket, detacht my foot, launch the rocket at the next poster. I land safely on a fat guy