Survive That Attack!

[Yukon0009]

I am the Kraken, i eat the Death Star before it kills me.

I also eat the next poster (along with the Death Star)

[Souper]

I'm made of cyclopentadienyl nickel nitrosil, you get poisoned and die.

The next poster tries to land here:

[Captain Sierra]

I deploy parachutes.

I shove the next poster out the airlock of the lander.

[Sesni]

I have a super-advanced EVA suit and do not die.

The next poster is on a suborbital trajectory into Venus.

[Space_Kraken]

I deploy my tungsten alloy heatshield and super advanced EVA suit mentioned previously.

The next poster gets divided by zero.

[KerbinW365]

I do not think about it.

The next user is under attack by Romulan Warbirds

[Souper]

I use my Slenderman powers to kill them!

I also use my Slenderman powers to stalk and kill the next poster unless they give me 20$!

[Vaporo]

I call the Ghostbusters.

The next poster is trapped in a rather... unpleasant role in the story I am writing and is subject to my every malicious whim.

[Sesni]

I break out of the text with an atomic bomb.

The next poster is trapped on Laythe with dwindling supplies.

[Souper]

There are 5,000 Laythes in our galaxy alone, the one you sent me to is a near-exact clone of Earth.

The next poster is killed by a sniper!

[Sesni]

I wore a helmet. They go a long way when bulky.

The next poster has an artillery round headed at them.

[megatiger78]

I am on alpha centurai B's super-habitable planet.

the next poster is one alpha centurai B itself.

[MrWalrus123]

Ha, I'm a walrus that lives in SPACE and takes literal sunbathes so yeah...

next at person gets hypnotized by weegee

[megatiger78]

weegee gets shot in the face by someone.

same thing happens to next 5 posters

[Razor235]

Unfortunately it was only a marshmallow launcher.

I teleport SCP-682 to the next person.

[Tobbzzzz]

I use my mind-control powers and commands him to attack the next person.

[megatiger78]

he experiences true fear.... TELETUBBIES!

next poster is attack by said teletubbies

[Sesni]

I walk away.

Next poster is next to an exploding nuclear bomb.

[Souper]

I'm moving away from the explosion faster than it expands, and the planet i'm on has no atmosphere, so.....yeah....

The next poster has no mouth, but must scream.

Edited January 2, 2015 by Souper

[Norpo]

CAPS LOCK.

The next poster is attacked by a killer rabbit. Actually, no, THE killer rabbit. (And you don't have the Holy hand grenade of Antioch.)

[Souper]

I use awsome 28th century tech to destroy it by bathing it in 3 billion degrees fahrenheit.

The next poster takes their helmet off on Venus's lowland surface.

[Yukon0009]

I'm the Kraken, I survive.

The next poster gets thrown aboard Danny's evil contraptions.

[megatiger78]

I'm not a kerbal, I survive.

next poster is hit by a falling planet buster. (danny mark IV- AKA glitch device)

[Vaporo]

I restart the game and reload my latest quicksave.

The next poster must guess the number of fingers I am holding up behind my back or will be thrown into a black hole.

The answer is two.

[Sesni]

Two. HAHA! I highlighted your text and accidentally found the awnser! Muahahahahaha.

The next poster is playing ArmA III and is flanked and an enemy is behind him while he does not know.