Survive That Attack!

[spacebrick3]

Luckily, I'm not "the next user", so they're not aimed at me.

However, they are aimed at whoever posts next.

[DMSP]

Luckily the chickens disintegrate before they reach me. Phew!

I fire a blanket of 6 Tsar Bombas from orbit at the next user (they all have ablative shielding)

[Andem]

I use my pocket wormhole device to whisk them to where the next poster is minding his own business.

[TheSealBrigade]

A large laser array suddenly opens fire and destroys the deadly bombs before they detonate.

I teleport an earth mass black hole into the core of The Sun, causing it to become unstable and ripe to supernova at any moment.

[max_creative]

But I use my over 9000 m/s Delta-V to go to Dres then the always next poster gets blown up.

[TheSealBrigade]

34 minutes ago, max_creative said:

But I use my over 9000 m/s Delta-V to go to Dres

You would be vaporized or Dres (whatever that is) would be vaporized. So your effectively been deadified.

Also, I got over my shoving animals in vending machines obsession. 

Edited May 17, 2016 by TheSealBrigade

[ZentroCatson]

I use a space-time anomaly to stop TheSealBrigade from teleporting a black hole into the sun.

I sneak up on the next poster and use the BanHammer on him!

[Interplanet Janet]

I counter with another BanHammer.

I try to eject the Kerbol system from the galaxy.

[TheSealBrigade]

I use the aformentioned black hole to slingshot the solar system back.

[Andem]

I dodge the Kerbol system, but the next poster is not so lucky.. . He gets hit in the face by Eve.

[ZentroCatson]

Luckily I'm in a reentry pod with supplies for 1000 days. Someone will come and rescue me… I hope… 

I crash a F-22 into the next poster.

[max_creative]

It's a paper airplane model though. 

I add moar boosters and send the next poster BACC to the revert to vab screen future!

[spacebrick3]

In the future, KSP runs much better and has better physics, but the BACC does not exist and so stays in this timeline and hits the next poster.

[Atlas2342]

But since the BACC is now in the present timeline, full of bugs, the BACC glitches out and heads straight for the next forumer.

[Xannari Ferrows]

I refuse to update the game. I then walk outside to go hiking, but after walking for a bit, I trip on a rock and onto a string, dragging the end of the string which happens to be connected to the fuse of an active cannon, setting it off and having it crash into someone's house, breaking it down, which drags the hardwired power line down, dragging the pole it's connected to down and creating a cascade of falling power lines all the way down the street resulting in a brief circuit overload and outage. Because of the circuit overload, a house at the end of the road with an active toaster inside catches fire and the sprinklers are disabled from the outage, causing a large house fire. Loose, burning pieces of wood fall down onto the farmland they live on the catch fire, where it spreads to a nearby forest and quickly spreads throughout several acres of land before a fire fighting team gets en route. While en route, an employee on break at an airport looks out the window, only to see the many flashing lights on the road on the distance and has an epileptic seizure. His co workers scramble to help him, but one of them knocks over a cup of coffee onto a computer, which after a few minutes, finds it's way into an outlet on the floor and shorts it out, sending a puff of smoke into the air. This puff of smoke happens upon a smoke detector and sets off fire alarms around the entire airport, and everything is closed down. The flight control director sends a signal to an incoming aircraft that the airport is temporarily closed due to a fire hazard and tells the pilot to delay landing. Unfortunately, the fire hazard had not been resolved by the time the pilot realized that the fuel was running below safe levels, and elected to take the plane over to another airport for an emergency landing. Upon arriving at the nearest airport, the pilot lets flight control know they are running low on fuel, so they're making an emergency landing. They are approved, and the landing is made. Because of the emergency landing, several flights are delayed and 1 is cancelled. A person who was supposed to be on the cancelled flight decides to go home, and gets in his car, but on the way home while in town, gets into a wreck that causes his car to roll off the road, and into another car, which jumps forward into another car getting gas, pushing it forward with enough force break the gas dispenser. The occupant of that car jumps back in shock, dropping his lit cigarette onto the pool of spilled gasoline, igniting it rapidly. The heat from that fire radiates high enough to start a fire within the gas dispenser, climbing it all the way to the tank and causing it to explode. Not long later, live footage is broadcasted of the event around the whole county.

You, in your house tuned into the news and eating, get a call from a friend about the news. While talking, a piece of food slips to the back of your throat and starts choking you.

Edited May 19, 2016 by Xannari Ferrows

[WinkAllKerb'']

me think it start gettin' old, but well thing tend to balance a nice way elder boom after elder boom, might be a frequencies or instant shock thingy stronger one after the other

Edited May 19, 2016 by WinkAllKerb''

[CAKE99]

 

I use the weapon in the spoiler on the next user for 10 minutes, that's 60000 bullets unless I failed to math 

Spoiler

 

[Delfinus]

I deploy a wormhole in front of me, the bullets go through it to where the next poster is located.

[KerbalOmmex]

I create a plasma shield and incinerate the bullets.

I press a BIG 'Master Fire' button, and all of Earth's nuclear weapons are launched to the next poster.

edit- I'm on Eve, so the bullets are crushed by pressure instaneously

Edited May 27, 2016 by KerbalOmmex

[cubinator]

10 hours ago, KerbalOmmex said:

I'm on Eve, so the bullets are crushed by pressure instaneously

C'mon, 5 atm is definitely not going to do that. That's as if the gun was fired 50 m underwater. Maybe if it were Venus, with 90 atm, but it's not.

10 hours ago, KerbalOmmex said:

I press a BIG 'Master Fire' button, and all of Earth's nuclear weapons are launched to the next poster.

I launch myself in a Falcon 9 with Dragon straight up, turn so that I land a safe distance away, and land by burning retrograde so the atmospheric entry is less intense, and finally by detaching and landing by parachute in just the capsule. Oh, and the booster is on a trajectory to do a hard impact on top of the next poster.

[Atlas2342]

Unfortunately, you forgot to account for the weight of the fuel lost and the booster tumbles and breaks apart sending flaming pieces of debris to the next poster

[KerbalOmmex]

I take a Delta-Glider and get into orbit.

(@HarvesteR , you know what I mean right.)

I use it to get into space and shoot down the next poster.

[OrbitalBuzzsaw]

I launch a Minuteman III missile carrying MIRV warheads. One is fitted with a propulsion system and attacks the DeltaGlider. The remainder fall on the next user.

[Delfinus]

I blast them all apart with laser AA guns, however one misses and instead hits the next user.

[Omegagoldfish]

Due to its poor guidance, it actually flew into the sun.

 

The sun then flies into the next user.