Survive That Attack!

[Sesni]

It's okay because my ship has me in the far back left so I'm okay.

Debris from my ship is rushing at the next post.

[mikeman7918]

That makes no logical sense because I am the person in the ramming ship. I throw the next poster out of the airlock into space without a space suit.

[Starwhip]

I know that it takes 30 seconds for one to die in space, and I also happen to know the odds of a spaceship finding me before that time has elapsed. Therefore, the Heart of Gold arrives and saves me at exactly 29 seconds after I was thrown into space.

The IID (Infinite Improbability Drive) turns the next poster into a pot of petunias a few thousand miles from the surface of a planet.

[BagelRabbit]

The petunias' fall is cushioned by an enormous, befuddled whale, which falls directly upon the next poster.

[mikeman7918]

I was digging a hole at the time, so the whale just lands on top of the hole, plugging it. I then dig my way out. The next poster becomes my test subject. MUAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

[Tidus Klein]

I punch you in the face and run out side.......

i then pick up a mini nuke and throw it inside your base....GOOD luck to the next poster you gots a nuke in your lap.

[mikeman7918]

You forgot to arm the nuke...

I hit the next poster really hard with the UN-armed nuke.

[Starwhip]

As the nuke descends on me, a glitch appears in the space-time continuum as a Whackjovian ship flies overhead. The Kraken eats the nuke. Now unarmed, you turn to flee.

The Whackjovian ship and it's telltale disruption continues onward toward the next poster to wreak havoc upon them.

[OrbitusII]

I put a Klein Bottle in front of the rocket, trapping it in 4D space for the foreseeable future. I might seem old-fashioned, but here's a combustible lemon for the next poster.

[Dark Junior]

Life gave me combustible lemons so i made combustible lemonade.

I throw the whole combustible pitcher at the next poster.

[Starwhip]

I hold up a board covered in the blue Repulsion Gel and the pitcher is ricocheted to the next poster, along with a few potatoes for good measure.

[Dark Junior]

i catch my own lemonade and blow it up in the face of the next poster.

i eat the potatos.

Edited March 22, 2014 by Dark Junior

[Designer225]

Intent on hurting my eye, you hurt yours instead as I have safety goggles! Also you got sent to a hospital due to the explosion damage. You somehow survives...

I rained acid on the next poster. Those acids are so acidic (It's hydrochloric acid (HCl) and hydroiodic acid (HI) and hydronium ion (H₃O^-).) that you may get burned.

[Dark Junior]

I drink acid for breakfast.

I use flatulence on the next Poster.

[Daman453]

Not really a gassy person!

I send a rocket that fails for the next poster to ride on top of with no space suit held by steel straps and watched by me.

[palioxis1248]

The rocket fails 1 second into launch. Because this is KSP and explosions don't do jack, I survive unscathed.

The next poster finds him/herself greeted with a hail of lit SRBs.

[Designer225]

They are all going up for some reason, so it's the hail of smoke of lit SRBs.

The next poster is trapped by the flood of acid rain (again, HCl, HI, H₃O^-, and some superacids).

[Starwhip]

Say hello to my superhydrophobic plastic sheet! (Acid just rolls right off)

I install GLaDOS in the next poster's computer. Along with some Neurotoxin Emitters.

[Designer225]

I'm wearing a protective suit while I tried to block GLaDOS's entry. When I couldn't block its entry, I exploded the computer.

The next poster is nearby the computer when it happens.

[Starwhip]

I portal in the floor and at a nearby light-bridge, thus shielding myself.

I drop a few turrets around the next poster.

[mikeman7918]

The turrets were defective, so they didn't shoot me. I hire a hit man to kill the next poster.

[Designer225]

He doesn't have a car, so I drove away.

I hit the next poster.

[OrbitusII]

Fortunately, I am quite resilient and take the hit like a man.

Hey, next poster... FALCON PAAAAWNCH!

[mikeman7918]

DUCT TAPE SHIELD!!! I poison the next poster.

[Designer225]

The poison is too weak and dilute that it has minimal effect.

I PWN the next poster (Hey, have you heard of the PWN2OWN competition? Also imagine you as a browser).