Survive That Attack!

[mikeman7918]

Uppercut a second time? Ouch...

I throw a banana cream pie at the next poster.

[Tery215]

I use my flamethrower to deflect it.

The next poster is attacked by a banana cream pie with crits and on fire.

[OrbitusII]

I eat it. I love spicy things.

Unfortunately for the next poster, I get the hiccups and fire goes spewing from my mouth into the next poster (don't worry, it's sanitary).

[Pockrtplanesairways]

I use a concave heat shield to deflect and absorb it.

Sadly, I am too weak and light and it sends me careening for the next poster.

[vexx32]

I step aside and allow you to fall off the cliff. I push the next person off the aforementioned cliff after you.

[Capt. Hunt]

I grab a conveniently placed root in the cliff face, and use a bullwhip to snag the next poster by the leg, pulling him over the cliff.

[Shna_na]

I keep hold of the bullwhip.

I use a high-powered laser pointer on the next person

[11JRidding]

I slow down time so I am moving faster than light, and the laser doesn't hit me as it only goes at light speed

I then slice the next poster to pieces, while moving faster than light

[mikeman7918]

Time shows down for you because you are. going FTL. So for me, you are moving very slowly and I can just step out of the way. (Seriously, it's basic relativity.)

I force the next poster to attend a lecture on string theory and general relativity.

[Designer225]

I deflect your kicks and uppercut you. (Mikeman's KO'ed.)

I uppercut the next person.

Uppercut a second time? Ouch...

I throw a banana cream pie at the next poster.

LOL, didn't meant to uppercut you... I was upper-cutting random person...

Time shows down for you because you are. going FTL. So for me, you are moving very slowly and I can just step out of the way. (Seriously, it's basic relativity.)

I force the next poster to attend a lecture on string theory and general relativity.

I wore earmuffs and did my own business throughout the lecture.

I force the next poster to sit for 1000 years.

[Pockrtplanesairways]

I easily decline the offer.

A Voskhod pod comes careening for the next poster.

[OrbitusII]

I press R twice.

I put the next person in a rocket... engine.

[MaverickSawyer]

Thankfully, I plugged the fuel lines to the gas generator and drained the igniter for the starter cartridge, so the engine just provides some good acoustics for the garage band across the street.

I then drop-kick Godzilla onto the next poster.

[Capt. Hunt]

I dropkick Mothra at Godzilla, they both land in the next poster's city, chaos ensues.

[vexx32]

I don't have a city, so they land in the middle of the ocean and both drown in a passing hurricane.

I push the next poster into the caldera of an active volcano about to erupt.

[Deathsoul097]

Luckily for me I have a jetpack, complete with Jango Fett style missile.

Afore mentioned missile fired at next user.

[Seret]

I pop flares and jink, causing the missile to sail off into the blue yonder.

Sadly the burning flares land on the next poster's face.

[Wesreidau]

MY EYES! AAAAUGH! MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAUGH! I CAN'T PUT THEM OUT! ITS WHITE PHOSPHOROUS! AAAGUGUGUGUGH!

Oh wait, I'm in MOPP-4 protective posture! My trusty rubberized canvas gas mask saves the day!

And of course, I was in a full body NBC suit strolling around the deck of the USS Missouri because we were about to launch not one, not two, but a full broadside salvo of NINE W23 nuclear artillery shells to engulf the next user in the white-hot light of freedom.

[Deathsoul097]

Hmm. bullet-proofed and bomb-proofed body armour and gas mask anyone?

I use Thrird's "Murder Diary" to tell me the location of the next vict- I mean poster- in the future, allowing me to hunt them down with Third's machete, and body armour.

Third:

Yup. Machete wielding serial killer right there, with a phone that tells him where his victims will be when he kills them.

EDIT: Crap, ninja'd.

[11JRidding]

Due to your lack of an attack, I survive the attack by sitting there.

I throw a giant robot at the next poster

[Pockrtplanesairways]

I easily blow it up with my RPG.

I trap the next poster in a chair and decapitate them with a machete.

[Starwhip]

For every action, a new alternative universe is created. In the one that you missed, I broke my bonds and threw you out a window. I then proceed to do the same to the next poster, as they were standing too close to me.

[MaverickSawyer]

Luckily, it was a first-floor window, and I missed all the glass shards by bouncing off Pockrtplanesairways' body.

I then Sparta-kick the next poster into the suction zone of a 737-800's CFM56 engine, while muttering "43".

Fun (if disturbing) fact: 42 people have died from being ingested by an engine on a Boeing 737. The last one was in China several years ago.

[Starwhip]

Well, if the engine had been on it would have been better. For you. Now it's not, as I have a people-grinding engine at my disposal.

I tap the next poster on the back, putting the engine behind them, turning it on so that as they turn around, it comes online.

[Pockrtplanesairways]

I hit the cowl of the engine and simply bounce off because it isn't on.

Then I throw Maverick and the next poster in a leaky Soyuz 7K-OKS headed into space. No override capabilities.