Kerbal History 2

[MGUARN]

Year 4020: the first potatoes powered AI system goes on line ,and is a leading invention towards potato powered electronics.

[megatiger78]

4021: potatoes do not exist.

[problemecium]

I think the thread's okay for now. The only real problems with the previous one were that we had either the Kau coming back from the dead and attacking or the universe getting destroyed every 200 years.

4023: Cave Kerman founds Kerberture Science Innovators, a technology company focusing on applications of various potato-like tubers as power sources for mobile electronics. They begin construction of a large underground laboratory in an abandoned Karbonite mine.

4024: Construction of the Kir Space Station begins on low Kerbin orbit. Scientists from all over Kerbin are sent up there on research missions to perform tests spanning everything from analysing bananas to raising Kethane plants.

4024.1: First discovers the first sign of a planet that was once habitable. The star system is named for its original discoverer, Schwartzchild Kerman, which ends up proving oddly appropriate when the main star is found to have an unseen binary companion in the form of a black hole. Probes are launched from the mothership to investigate both the new planet and the mysterious black hole.

Edited September 20, 2014 by parameciumkid
I know how to spell "Karbonite"

[megatiger78]

4020.2:the black hole probe is sucked up and lands in year 201. jebs ancestor discovers the secret of fire from it.

4020.3:the planet probe discovers that the oceans of the planet are part kethane, while the entire rest of the planet is pure karbonite including atmosphere

[dryer_lint]

lands in year 201. jebs ancestor discovers the secret of fire from it.

*mind blown*

Anyways:

4026: Kerburture places a massive order for 100 tons of Mun dust. Mortimer Kerman goes insane from managing the funds and starts throwing around chemical tanks. Since he shares an office with Walt Kerman, we now know why Walt had that HAZMAT suit on.

4027: Space Agencies all over Kerbin begin to consider merging into one, worldwide Kerbal Space Program

[megatiger78]

4028: they all merge.

4029:kerburture discovers the probe has been passed down though jebs family for thousands of years.

4029.1: ground up mun rocks are discovered to be pure poison

[GreeningGalaxy]

4030: Caroline Kerman discovers that ground up mun rocks are not pure poison, but actually a mixture of several different substances of various disagreeability with the kerbal body. She notes that while Cave Kerman's illness is somewhat consistent with poisoning from the highly-reactive elemental iron nanoparticles found in munar regolith, he lacks any signs of the silicosis expected from his alleged dust inhalation. When Caroline analyzes a blood sample taken from Cave's arm as he slept one evening, she discovers that not only is the blood lacking in any munar compounds, but it also contains dangerously high levels of mercury. When Cave Kerman awakes and finds Caroline's results, he enters a rage state, pursues Caroline through the facility, and explains (in proper villain style) that his mercury poisoning was borne of his own error during an ill-conceived attempt to assassinate the most influential members of the Kerbal Space Agency with mercury-injected shower curtain linings. Cave succumbs to the toxin before he can drop Caroline into the acidic lake in the bottom of the Karbonite mine, but manages to trap her at the beginning of one of the testing tracks. The video records don't show her coming out alive at the other end, but her body is never found.

I have to do an analysis paper of Portal 2 for one of my classes. I can hardly wait!

[megatiger78]

4030.1: first is sucked into the black hole. curious forces make it a inifinite energy crystal...

Edited September 21, 2014 by megatiger78

[problemecium]

4030.11: Kerbals worldwide mourn the loss of the entire crew of First. Their ultimate sacrifice for the advancement of Science is commemorated in the form of a replica of the spacecraft erected at the Kerbal Space Center. Unfortunately an administrative oversight results in someone confusing the shorthand "1st" with the number "1" and the plaque ending up being dedicated to the Mk1 Pod instead of the First Expedition.

4031: In order to reduce staining of the KSC launchpad by "an unspecified conspicuous green substance", a water tower is erected nearby so that the pad can be rinsed thoroughly in the event of a launch catastrophe. Unfortunately its construction requires slightly more metal than was currently available at the space center, causing the construction crew to resort to taking down the beloved launch tower.

[dryer_lint]

4032: For several months, no manned rockets can be launched. They can be built, taken to the pad, and fueled, but there's no launch tower to put the Kerbals inside. Everyone is confused.

4032.5: In a revolutionary discovery, Linus Kerman realizes that they can just put the Kerbals in while the rocket is still in the VAB. He is promoted to Assistant Science Director.

[mythbusters844]

4032.6: The first manned launch in a while launches. 2 seconds after liftoff, the flight computer randomly cuts the LOX flow to outboard engine #1. The rocket falls back onto the pad and detonates, severely damaging the launchpad. The Kerbals somehow survive because the intense shockwave pushed the command pod out of harm's way.

[megatiger78]

4033: kego anouncesthe retun of its 5 year absent series, KIONICLE

[GreeningGalaxy]

4033: approximately four fifths of the Kerbal population boards Nuclear Salt-Water Rocket-propelled craft and leaves the Kerbol system in order to escape the return of KIONICLE.

[megatiger78]

4033:real KIONICLES chase them

[LVL 9001]

`

Edited February 7, 2021 by LVL 9001

[Xorth Tanovar]

4033.8: Hello Kitty arrives on Kerbin. Peace ensues.

[dryer_lint]

4034: Everyone starts going insane due to Hello Kitty, so the KSP just builds ballistic missiles for a year to destroy it.

4034.6: A group of scientists begins to investigate the anomalies. KIONICLES? Hello Kitty? What is happening to their universe?

4035: The team comes out with a shocking result - the very fabric of their existence is unstable and constantly subject to outside change. The anomalies they discovered are renamed "mods".

[quasarrgames]

4044:

Massive alien warships appear around kerbin, and by massive, i mean MASSIVE. First come the tiny scout ships, each one about the size of kerbol. Then come the accompanying carriers, with cargo bays big enough to swallow dres' orbit. Then comes the mothership, which used to be mistaken for an unusually fast galaxy supercluster.

Thankfully, at about that time, a mod called tweakscale is is installed. The kerbals use this new mod to start constructing their own massive ships to deal with the alien threat.

[dryer_lint]

4405: Protesters begin to resist the development of the new "mods". They form a group and name themselves the "stock purists".

4406: An autopilot known as MechJeb is created. Protesters go absolutely crazy.

4407: Some rather strange scientists begin the development of a new mod of mass destruction, codenamed "HyperEdit". Kerbal governments all over the planet unite to destroy this new mod before their universe is torn apart by the dreaded theoretical event known as a "crash"

[_Augustus_]

4408: Kerbal scientists led by Zefram Kerman discover warp travel. The Kerbals start traveling to the nearest star to Kerbol: Dolas.

[MrWalrus123]

Year 4049: Billy-Bob Kerman discovers a parallel universe with aliens coming back from the dead, klenderman, minmus colonies being untouched for thousands of years, and the universe gets destroyed all the time. Out of confusion he calls it Kerbal History 1.

[megatiger78]

4050:KIONICLE is named the best selling thing on kerbin.

4051: the new warp travel is discovered to be more ethical then the phantom force boosters that were revers-engineered into a warp drive.

[problemecium]

4054: Persistent struggles by the Kerbal military factions and the Stock Purists finally push back the invading anomalies until they are no longer a serious threat to the universe. While some KIONICLES, kitties, and other bizarre creatures continue to exist in isolated pockets, on the whole the universe was saved from certain annihilation.

4055: In order that Kerbality might be able to protect itself from extraterrestrial threats in the future, a new exploration ship is commissioned to continue the search for habitable planets near Kerbol. This one is deemed "Second" and is equipped with thick armor and a variety of weapons just in case it is attacked.

4056: Orbital construction of Second manages to finish with no major incidents. Celebrations are held worldwide, while a few paranoid Kerbals retreat into underground bunkers for fear that some huge calamity is on the horizon. Some of them report having visions of a monstrous tentacled creature surrounded by darkness.

[MrWalrus123]

4057: Some of the paranoid Kerbal start tho think that their universe is actually a program called KSP.exe, but those people where considered insane.

4058: A three inch astronaut crashes on kerbin, badly damaging his ship into 30 peices...

4059: The insane Kerbals think up of other univererses such as, Spore.exe, Minecraft.exe, and Space engineers.exe

Edited September 23, 2014 by MrWalrus123

[dryer_lint]

4058: Second is launched from LKO with no incidents. It sets course for a nearby star system known as Labker-10A.

4059: A scientific organization is created to study anomalies such as the kittens. It is named the SKP Foundation (Secure, Kontain, Protect)