KSP Greentexts

[BrotatoSalad]

Share your favorite KSP catastrophic failure stories in greentext form. Bonus points if you can actually make the text green with HTML in your reply. I'll start.

>build FAR SSTO

>go to orbit second try

>feelsgoodman.jpg

>time to test reentry

>Jeb looks willing

>Begin MLG retro burn

>flametastic reentry

>Jeb status: lunatic grin

>approach transonic speeds

>control surfaces are kill

>wings are kill

>ohcrap.jpg

>lifting body physics ftw

>ultradank gentle glide

>put down landing gear

>tfw ripped off during reentry

>noscoped by atmosphere

liek if u cri everytiem

Edited November 30, 2014 by vexx32
Greentext is green.

[Pecan]

>Whut?

>Twitter > attention span

>Launched

>Orbited

>Transferred

>Orbited

>Landed

>Flagged

>Launched

>Orbited

>Transferred

>Orbited

>De-orbited

>Landed

>Recovered

>Phew!

... is this game?

Edited November 30, 2014 by vexx32
Greentext is green.

[Jodo42]

>be me

>.75m tall

>light green

>200lbs

>your average kerbal

>be assigned to boring space station

>LKO

>big shots are coming to dock

>mission to duna or some ****

>orange suits

>new eva package

>the full 9 yards

>their ship is hyperdank

>fully decked out

>orange tanks, boosters (solid and liquid), life support, fancy lighting, plenty of dew

>i'm sitting in a 1m mk1

>one of them's leaning out the window like a dog

>can barely see thanks to their blaring lights

>all of a sudden space station starts spinning

>really violent, like we're gonna explode

>oh****.jpg

>some kind of kraken

>remain calm, remain calm

>i've trained for this

>klaxons blaring

>squeeze through tiny hatch

>float through station core

>mystery goo is going nuts

>lab techs struggling to get through

>get through lab untouched

>mlg skills

>0 gravity

>squeeze through another hatch

>sepratrons burst to life

>roaring away from station

>once they're done i turn the ship

>look out tiny window

>mfw the pros are spinning their ship to try to match the station's rotation

>mfw they fail miserably

>mfw the station explodes in a gigantic fireball

>mfw everyone within 2.5km is probably dead

i love being a kerbal

Edited November 30, 2014 by technicalfool
Moar greentext

[GreeningGalaxy]

>Go out on EVA from a ship under full sail

>Engines are so pathetically weak, keeping up is easy

>wheeee.svg

>Misjudge distance

>Accidentally fly through exhaust beam

>KAPOW

>Shooting off-structure at 100m/s

>ohnoooo.wav

>Try to catch up with ship

>Run out of EVA fuel

>Flop right into the exhaust beam AGAIN

>whyyyy.psd

>Kerbal loses too much speed, hits the upper atmosphere while unfocused, and is eaten by the kraken

>oa

>

[Steambirds]

>be me

>just chilling, driving my kickass rover around on the moon

>suddenly, gravity nopes out

>ejected from driver's seat, flailing about

>land on the floor

>everybody walk the dinosaur.

Am I doing it right?

Edited November 30, 2014 by technicalfool
Moar greentext

[temporalExile]

>Be me

>0.625m wide

>8 sides

>Have ant engines

>20KM/s of delta-V

>Go to Jool

>Get Jool enocunter

>Start orbital insertion burn

>Escape before the burn is finshed

>Realize TWR is less than 0.1

>On gilly

>Ragequit.png

[mrrpamplemousse]

>be in a rocket

>all systems nominal

>going to the mun

>landing

>smooth as hell

>crying

"Thats one small step for kerbal, one giant leep for kerbal kind"

>wake up

>in the basement

>open computer

>go on the kerbal space forum

>game section

>write this

>tfw

Why must I be this mediocre?

/roleplay

[Thomas988]

>awesome rocket

>mlg launch

>goes to mun

>pro landing skillz

>rover deploy

>sweet crew departure

>staging error

>no engines

>desk slam

>EVA orbit pro

>rover switch

>rover flop

>explosions

>desk slam

>rescue rocket

>crew home

>enough KSP for today

[GreeningGalaxy]

>Obtain antimatter torchship

>7-figure delta-V, hell yeah

>SSTO from launchpad

>likeaboss.flac

>Not even a dent in the fuel supply

>Decide to scram all that Hohmann nonsense

>Start constant-burn brachistochrone trajectory for Minmus

>Get up to 30 km/s at halfway point

>Skew-flip takes longer than I expected

>Ok

>Minmus is getting a little big, speed is still really high

>Not gonna slow down in time

>Engine is getting pretty hot

>Radiators are glowing very orange

>Reactor goes out due to overheat

>Engine flames out due to power loss

>fuuuuuu.mp4

>Here comes Minmus at 10 km/s

>POW

>Torchships are hard

[megatiger78]

>orbiter 1a fitted to a rocket now in mun orbit.

>coming in to land.

>wait the landing legs are pretty close together.

>landing on a hill.

>it fell over.

>obtain rescue craft

>miss target.

>fall over again.

>try minmus.

>trip during salt flat approach gliding down a hill

>just give up and design your own lander

[mrrpamplemousse]

ITT we pretend we are 4channers.

>tfw nothing better to do.

[Steambirds]

Bump for the glory of kerbalkind.

[Norpo]

> launch rocket

> smooth sailing

> launch pad explodes

> rocket goes in air anyways

> mlg pro

> rocket tips sideways

> ohcrap.jpg

> starts going towards ground

> sas is kill

> kerbals eva out

> rocket explodes

> everyone dies

> reverts to launch

//commented!

[mythbusters844]

>be me

>cruisin at minmus in a tank rover

>thisisthelife.jpg

>suddenly rcs thrusters fire for no reason

>accelerate to 120 m/s going across the surface

>suddenly lift off the ground cause we're basically in orbit

>ohpoop.gif

>going higher and higher

>now so high up that you can cover minmus with your thumb

>werescrewed.jpg

>falling back down

>fellow crewmember is freaking the heck out

>tfw you know youre about to die

>less than 1km from the surface

>passing over a salt lake but can't land cause out of fuel

>see a mountain ahead which will be our grave

>both of us are freaking out

>going nearly 130 m/s

>smash into it and see a burst of light before everything goes black

>guy opens simulator hatch door and says we failed

>mfw