Make a wish... and have it horribly corrupted!

[Tangle]

Granted. IT'S STILL FLIPPIN BUGGY.

Also: Super, why.

I wish for doyulble.s

[VelocityPolaris]

Granted, but the person in question does not know what doyulble.s is, and gives you a glass portable toilet instead.

I wish nobody I know is incompetent, stupid and ignorant.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted, you are now the last person alive on Earth.

I wish I had a new car.

[vexx32]

Granted, but it is constructed in a manner akin to that of a Prince Rupert's Drop, with the entire exterior forming the "tail" of the drop. Goodbye.

I wish for some food.

[MrHappyFace]

Granted, but it is actually a holographic sandwich

that one was too easy...

I wish the universe would never end (as in heat death, accelerating expansion, etc.)

[Tangle]

Granted. As soon as the first race to perfect it activates the Universal Immortality Machine, the universe freezes in place. Time does not pass.

I wish for quintuple cupcakes!

[Souper]

Granted. After eating them, you morph into Joseph Merrick

Iwishmyspacebarwasn'tstuck.

[Tangle]

Granted. Joseph Merrick finally, mercifully, dies. Twice.

I wish for double fish wishes from the fish of glory, Mr. Fish.

[Sylandro]

Granted, but Mr. Fish forgets about the wishes.

I wish for a wish about a wish, about a wish.

[Floppster]

Granted, but you went too deep and you're now stuck in wish limbo.

I wish for stockalike mods.

[Boosterspice]

Granted, all other mods and plugins disappear.

I wish for a football

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted, it hits you in the groin at high speed.

I wish there were no animated gifs.

[Floppster]

Granted, all other formats are now animated, including text files.

I wish for either a decent beard growth or nothing at all.

Granted, all other mods and plugins disappear.

I am totally okay with this.

[Helix935]

granted, the beard becomes sentient and begins to attack you

i wish that all humans were evolve into a energy beings right now

Edited May 16, 2014 by Helix935
ninja'd

[Floppster]

Granted, all humans turn into energy, releasing 4.509×10^28 joules, equal to 673 trillion times the energy output of Little Boy when dropped on Hiroshima. Not a great day for planet Earth.

I wish for one kg of unbihexium.

[Red Iron Crown]

Granted. It appears in your colon.

I wish for Superman's powers.

[MrHappyFace]

granted, but because superman is a fictious entity, your new powers are confused and explode.

I wish for a wish that can wish for other wishes that can wish for wishes.

[Tangle]

Granted. It wishes to die for once.

I wiisih or the thinger.

[vexx32]

No wish was made. Your skin will be slowly peeled from your face, one small strip at a time.

I wish for uniformity.

[Tangle]

Granted. The universe is a uniform pancake.

I wish for cupcakes! Many cupcakes.

[Floppster]

Granted. You drown and get crushed by a cupcake tsunami.

I wish for more rep.

[Shna_na]

Granted, you complete one more repetition and collapse to the ground in a heap of dehydration and sweat.

I wish that no-one can nibble-ise.

[THENEWJOEMAMA]

Granted. Everyone starves, because they cannot eat food, nibble or otherwise.

I wish for a PAL9001.

[Tangle]

Granted. He's your plastisteel durasilicon PAL! also there are 9001 of him, and he's 8 square megameters in size.

I wish for trouble cuvppe.s

[Floppster]

Granted, but still noone knows what you're asking for so you get a flat soda instead.

I wish for non eternal mudkips.